Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Have broadband, will blog

Dear all, it is an exciting day indeed. (Wednesday - nice day, you'll like it. Sunny, productive...)

Yes at long last our house has become a home...we have broadband!

And we even have a phone too. By the way if you want our new address, phone, banking and pin numbers please email me and I'll send them to you. Just because I'm not paranoid doesn't mean they're not after me.

So what have we been up to...

Sunday...Further adventures in the country.
We (Jan, Sandra, Vince, Rose and us) were invited out to dinner with Sue and Don some people from the church we have just started going to (must be a NZ denomination. Mormons, lovely lot).

Turns out they live on a farm. Well, excellent. Here are some more opportunities for me to prove I am a country girl at heart.

We started off with a tour of the farm.

First I was introduced to their 4 horses. Nice black horse (apparently has hands) inadvertently pulled Sue's thumb off when her rein got caught around it. Sue fell, horse went one direction, thumb the other. Horse is called Thumbelina. Nice.

Next, to the chicken coop. Sorry, supposed to call them chooks. The Chook Coop. Good name for a nightclub. I was nominated (by Jan) to place my hands under aforementioned chooks to extract any eggs. Was secretly quite excited at idea of me becoming country genius, at one with wild life. Petted the chooks a little tentatively. Do they bite? Found 2 eggs (ok, Sue found them, but I was standing next to her). Rather enjoyed my small flirtation with Avian Flu.

Then we set off across the fields (Sue in green wellies, me in slip-ons from Payless) to visit with the darling little sheeps. One of whom we were eating for dinner. They have a very unusual breed which are called...er..I forget....well, they're brown anyway. Let's call them the Brown Sheep.

Sue's daughters were very keen that I get up, close and personal with the sheep and so they called their favourites over. Billy and Latte. Although I expected an instant rapport with Latte (well I've drunk enough of them) she was a little shy...but Billy and I got along just swell. I even petted him. Sue and her girls pointed out with gay laughter one of the little lambs... which was blind. Turns out it was born without eyeballs.

I tried not to faint.

Then we climbed a big hill full of cowpats (but wasn't tempted to warm my feet up in them) to meet the flipping huge cows which kept running towards me with very mean expressions on their faces. Was frankly a little bit scared, but managed to strike up a conversation with a small calf along the following lines:

Me: "hello little calf, I've never eaten any of you. I've eaten the big cows, but they're not cute like you."
Calf: "Prrrumph "
Me: "Ooh, actually I have eaten calves liver. Ah. Sorry about that."
Calf: "Prrumph"
Me: But I'd never eat veal. No. No. No. I wouldn't eat you like that. That's just cruel."
Calf: "Prrumph"

At this point I realised that my cover as "mother nature, raised on a farm, no-nonsense outdoors type" was blown. The girls had overheard my conversation with the calf. (The coordinated powder blue top, ear rings and spotty socks may have previously given it away)

By the way I'm so sorry I don't have any photos....and I really wanted one of the blind lamb to go with the earless cats from a previous post. (Actually the blind lamb made me want to cry...)

Well after all that fresh air we headed back to the house (where they have 2 cats, 3 dogs and 2 squawking budgies that I did consider strangling when no-one was looking....gack..birds in cages...gack). Can I just mention that one of their dogs is a Labradoodle? A cross between a Labrador and a Poodle. It has the best fur EVER. Would make really great cushions. But only if removed in very humane way. Perhaps waxing?

Dinner was a very tasty sheep with lashings of parsnips, pumpkin, sweet potato, roast potatoes and a few peas lest we forget there are food groups that aren't entirely brown. Speaking of which we ate Brown Sheep and it was delicious. A good time was had by all. Well, apart from the sheep, presumably.

And in case you think Don, Sue et al are totally without conscience, I must tell you that they only name the animals they are not going to eat. The others are all called "Freezer Meat".

And that's a good name for a band.

Since Sunday we've mostly been cleaning, buying exciting stuff like coasters and bin bags....woooooh...and today Dave was in a festive mood so he decided to:

'Deck the Halls with Bows of Holly'

Sorry, I meant, Sand the Decks.

Sand the decks, so he can re-stain them.

If I put a sprig of holly in his hair would that help?

2 Comments:

Blogger A.J. said...

Ok that was pure genius again Adele. Laughed really hard at the Mormon comment and then enjoyed the idea of you trying to get the chooks eggs.
"Chook" so it's not just some weird word that Lynley made up then? Wow who knew it's a NZ thing.... What's wrong with the word Chicken?

I call my hubby a nice Chicken and he seems to like it!

Word verification: ihcvkp
Sounds like a short form of some sort of hideous
disease!

Didn't work so will try again with another scary word like gysgqsc sounds contagious!

2:32 PM  
Anonymous shannon said...

I can NOT keep up with these blogs adele!! how am I supposed to leave witty and amusing comments when you whip along and leave blog after blog with no thought as to those of us who simply cannot be online 24-7? hmmmm?

regardless, i cannot help myself ... I *must* comment on this blog.

Agree with AJ re the Mormon comment. So sly - love those ones that come from nowhere and slap you in the arse. (please try to refrain from deleting this comment simply because i used an *almost* profane word)

Very witty, your country friends. I believe I would like them. And -a bonding point- my grandfather is missing his right-hand-thumb because of a horse and a very similar situation to Thumbelina's. (didn't I mention previously that I come from solid country-folk on both sides of the family? yep, farmers & preachers all the way down the line. Nothing wrong with that lot!)
And -brilliant- naming the non-pets 'freezer meat'. Yes, I truly like these people.

Love the reference to Avian Flu - how hysterical! and nicely done.
hugs
s
(p.s. poor, sad, eyeless lamb)

3:13 AM  

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