Friday, December 02, 2005

How does one buy drugs anyway? By the handbag?

Hopefully I won't get investigated by the FBI because of the title of the blog. It's all a bit dicey what with that Australian drug smuggler being executed in Singapore today. Coincidentally that is where Sarah's parents are at the moment.

Yes the news on is rather exciting today. There's a fun little piece on Russian squirrels eating a dog due to the shortage of pine cones. I like to keep you informed. (the link wouldn't work directly to the article I'm afraid, but it's on the homepage under "Also in the news"..or at least it is at the moment)

Ok, so the reason for the title of the post. Today I was commissioned by my radio guru boss in the UK to write 2 adverts against Drug Driving. In fact his exact words were "a couple of crackers please". No pressure there then. The brief granted me a whole 60 seconds per commercial. Which in radio commercial terms is like being given the OK to make a film of the length of the Titanic. 'Oh let the creative juices flow...I'll call up Steven Spielberg and see if he wants to make a mini series out of them afterwards', I think to myself.

Now sadly you would be hard pressed to find anyone less clued up on the UK drugs scene. The radio exec suggested that I create a scenario which featured a "narcotic like den of drug hawkers talking the language". I didn't even know they called them drug hawkers. I was helping out a youthworker many years ago and he asked me to walk past one of the 'youth' and sniff surreptiously to see if I could smell weed. Of course being an obedient young pup, I did so. Only afterwards did it occur to me that I had no idea what weed even smells like. (unless it's where a cat has weed).

So a bit green? A bit wet behind the ears? Totally removed from youth culture? Yes, check all of those boxes.

Teehee, hilarious that I am being asked to create a hard hitting couple of commercials appealing to 17 to 25year olds to make it seem cool to not take drugs and drive.

Well I considered emailing AJ who for reasons we had better not go in to, has an exceptional drug vocabulary. But then I thought that actually I didn't want a den of drug hawking people talking the talk....cos it would sound cool and exciting. And that is hardly the point.

So I put in loads of car crash sfx (sound effects) screaming and statements like:

"Drink driving isn’t the only way to kill yourself, or your friends.

Drugs work too."

So we'll wait and see if they are a couple of crackers...

...or 2 damp squibs.


Anonymous I hope you can guess said...

I get to be the first to post a comment.... this is exciting....
Now that I'm here I don't know what to say......Can you write me a commercial that is somewhere in between cracker and squib (I don't want you to invest to much time... but enough) that communicates how much I love you know who..... and now what / it?

1:39 PM  
Blogger A.J. said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4:12 PM  
Blogger A.J. said...

Sorry I had to delete my comment for poor spelling.... how embarrassing! *blush*

Now the comment:

I plead the fifth or something! I have no idea what you could be talking about or implying and I am shocked and appalled at the suggestion! (OK that was for the FBI)_Very funny actually to thing of YOU writing a "in the know" drug commercial. Perhaps next they should get to write one about .... ummm trying to think of things you wouldn't know about and drawing a blank......"deep space and why we should all go there!"

4:15 PM  
Anonymous Agent Stuart of the FBI said...

the person whose alias is "AJ" is known to us and we are tracking the suspicious movements of this person. They have been observed in various "narcotic dens" with many other sparrows.... I mean hawks.

This person is known to be extremely dangerous and we will provide extra protection for randomness.

4:41 PM  
Blogger Adele Richards said...

Dear "I hope you can guess"

Nice try, Prince William, but I wish you'd just leave me alone. I'm already married for Pete's sake! (and also, Dave's)

8:24 PM  
Blogger Adele Richards said...

Dear "I hope you can guess"

Apparently you aren't Prince William...he always leaves his comments as Mr Pants.

I have some ideas of who you could be, but I need more clues...or just email me. I am most intrigued, and that is when I am at my most dangerous.

Spill the beans, mate.

Love, Adele

p.s great to have you on-board Agent Stuart

8:26 PM  
Anonymous Krista said...

once again the dictionary has come out so that everyone can understand what adele is Really trying to say.

DEF: Damp Squibs: gross mildewing sink wash cloths that have been left out wet for one to many days; an asian delicacy (sea creature that's a cousin to squid) served with purple cabbage and lots of fish sauce (thus the damp part).

2:40 PM  
Anonymous jason said...

i'm not sure how true to form they are but the films Snatch and Lock Stock and 2 Smoking Barrels seem like great repesentations of British drug/crime/car-accident culture...

2:44 PM  
Blogger Laura said...

Hello pickle,

If the commercial folk question your er... commercial and say it's not up to the minute drug speak. Then just tell them that as soon as some new lingo comes out it changes the following day and also it's colloquial so you could be appeallng to northern 14year olds and no one else! I love the drink driving idea very stark. You're a clever lady indeed.

6:22 PM  
Anonymous HRH Prince William said...

One is totally shocked and appalled at the suggestion that I, HRH Prince William Arthur Philip Louis, am actually Mr Pants. I have no connection with the said gentleman and I wish you to print a retraction.

9:31 AM  
Anonymous Mr Pants said...

I, Mr P Pants, am flabbergasted at the claim that la-de-dah, Prince William is actually Mr Pants. Now, I intend to sue the pants off you.

9:35 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home