Thursday, March 30, 2006

What the monkey?

Dear blog fans...er, well, blog readers....blog tolerants? However you would describe yourself....I am calling you dear.

So sorry for the appalling, lamentable, disgusting and flagrant lack of posts this week. Ditto response to emails/phone calls/yells through loud hailers or whatever medium you may have been using to contact me. (Note. Mime is not terribly effective as a communication tool between continents. But thanks anyway Jon P.)

There have been two very significant factors affecting this lack of blogging. Firstly the wonderful Alyn and AJ Jones have been staying with us since Sunday. And let me tell you when you have 2 people that entertaining, witty, hilarious and downright good looking in the house - it's very hard to blog. Yes I know THEY managed to blog, but that's where my second 'significant factor' comes in.

I seem to have lost my brain. AKA I have been re-located to la-la land. AKA I am away with the fairies.

Now I know compared to the shapers in my life (please note Dave, Alyn & AJ are all super high shaper personalities....the planner, organiser types who cut through problems to find solutions like aniseed cuts through flyspray. (made up that thing about aniseed because 'hot butter through knife' is overdone and couldn't be bothered to think of a clever alternative.)

Oops too many brackets let's start again.

Now I know compared to the shapers in my life I am always a little bit 'away with the fairies' purely in comparative terms. BUT this week...the fairies have kidnapped me, taken me to fairyland, dressed me up like a Mustardseed or Peaseblosson, given me a wand. Oh and my new job is collecting teeth from under the pillows of small children, and leaving a small coin there instead.

Some small examples (most of which I have probably forgotten as, plot summary, I am now a fairy with a heavy responsibility for tooth collection).

Driving AJ and Alyn for the first time. AJ points out just before I hit the gas that I am actually in reverse. This was not the direction I was intending in going (due to the wall behind me).

Cooking for Alyn & AJ for the first time. With a staggering amount of forethought (laziness can sometimes be a good thing) I anticipated that after driving to Palmerston North and back to collect them on Sunday (round trip-6hours) I would not be up to deciding what to cook. SO I had bought ready-made (but fresh) stuffed tortellini, Alfredo sauce and some veggies. All I had to do was bung it in a pan. Simple. Or so you would think. But apparently fairies have difficulty in the kitchen.

I wandered around the kitchen holding a courgette (zucchini) and a knife for about 5 minutes looking for something that I had thought I needed, but halfway through forgot what I was looking for. Then I forgot what i was doing all together and stared at the courgette in my hand with some surprise. What was that doing there? I ended up just staring into space. Still clutching the courgette. At this point Alyn came and removed said courgette and knife. Guided me to a chair. And took over.

Multiple other fairy incidents this week...but fairy brain has failed to re-call them...some were along these lines:

1) reversing car onto the wrong side of the road and wondering why everyone else on the road was in the wrong place
(only took me 3 attempts to realise why they wouldn't get out of the way)

2) Rushing to midwife appointment only to realise on arrival that I couldn't remember her name to ask for her.

3) Failing to turn up to a meeting with the Fatherheart Ministries web maintenance people. Because I totally forgot it. Forgot to look in my diary. And still had no idea when Jan asked me where I had been. (It's not like I have more than 1 or 2 appointments a week...you'd think I'd remember them)

4) There have been a travelling troupe of performing flies lurking in the house this week which have been driving us all mad. I offered chocolate as a reward to anyone who killed one. (My tally is the highest in the house at 2 dead flies - it would have been 3 but Dave took the placemat off the top of a glass of ribena where I'd trapped a fly and was waiting for it to drown in blackcurrant juice...BWA_HA_HA!). Anyway after a while madness starts to set in and you really begin to believe that your hand is quicker than a fly. That you could smash it's evil little head into the counter with your bare hand if only you could sneak up on it. Of course sneaking up on a fly is difficult, we're quite a bit larger than them. But yesterday a fly. A slow, stupid-looking fly settled on the back of Alyn's white shirt as he ate his breakfast at the kitchen counter. In a stealthy panther-like way I snuck up on the fly and (without thinking - duh, that is the point of this post) I smashed my hand onto the fly as quickly as I could.

Yep, you're ahead of me there. Predictably the fly moved and so I just ended up slapping Alyn on the back quite forcibly. Quite why I would think he'd be ok with my mashing a dead fly into his nice shirt anyway, I'm not sure. To make matters worse he'd just been choking on his breakfast and was having trouble breathing. So me sneaking up behind him and slapping him didn't really help.

Anyway this is just a few paltry examples of fairy-like behaviour from yours truly this week.

More importantly let me just wax lyrical for a few moments about how totally wonderful it has been to have Alyn & AJ here. Not only has Alyn done magical things to my Mac, solved the slowness problem (Mac, not me) ordered me extra RAM, sorted out our network problems and demonstrated iLife 06 - which is THE BOMB........BUT he has also been the most encouraging monkey ever known to mankind. Yes he deduced my levels of storge were low and set about restoring them with lots of encouraging words and appropriate side hugs etc.

Meanwhile the divine AJ, despite crippling backpain, stepped into the breach and honed my talons into something approaching an acceptable length. (My nails have been growing double speed and I wouldn't say they were long, but I could scratch the bottom of my foot while standing up). It took her about 45 minutes to saw them down to a reasonable length. And then more time to shape them according to madam's requirements (I like round not flat or square or rectangle or hexagonal).
She showed me how to set up my RSS on my Blogs. And she coached Dave at the swimming pool on how to improve his swim style.

Yes they were supposed to be here resting but spent most of their time doing us favours. That's the quality of the people, folks.

Oh and in reference to the title of the post. One of Alyn's expressions of outrage (usually at some stupid Microsoft act) and something that makes me smile. Just like them. We miss you already!

p.s just been re-reading throught this post and noted another instance of fairy-itis. Did you spot it too folks?
I wrote 'a hot butter through knife'.....he he he....back to fairyland for me.......

5 Comments:

Blogger weegeemcschuler said...

Yipee, I'm the first to write a comment...ah what shall it be??
Well first I must say that I have total respect for fairies. AFter all, while other kids were gathering stamp, or sports card collections, I was carefully gathering my fairy autograph collection. Oh yes the tooth fairy was my favourite. SO Adele the fact that you're a fairy this week it tres cool to moi - can I have your autograph??
Miss fairy :0) don't feel like a feeble fairy , just a fairy with a lot of stories this week which will hopefully not be as frequent for your sanity :0) huggle huggle Adeler we love you - top bird you is (a top bird that has re-discovered Ribena I gather :0)

2:26 AM  
Anonymous caroline <> said...

my friend suzanne declared a term for fairy like behaviour whilst pregnant...
"pregnancy fog" which she blamed for leaving visa card at 3 different stores in one week and also excessive nesting habits of both her own & soon to be born bairns wardrobes & bedrooms ...
this can also be changed to wedding fog, pms fog, seasonal fog...
very handy:) hope to see you when you are over this way...

8:43 PM  
Blogger s@bd said...

we call that 'pregnancy head'. and it really does a number on one. especially when one leans to the fairies to begin with ...

and it doesn't really get better after they're born either. i think because they take all the good cells with them.

5:07 AM  
Anonymous Alyn in Dialup Hell said...

Ahh Adele - you were so cute. What with the vacant looks, the utterly lost looks, the I-am-barely-staying-upright looks and the what-am-I-doing-here-and-what-is-my-name look. What a bunch of fun it was to see you both. Thanks ever so much for having us and for writing such a glowing report about our stay. I just remember drinking all your wine, eating all your food and watching all your DVDS. Nice of you to overlook those things.

We love you and it was a treat to see you both!

8:00 AM  
Anonymous LA said...

Ahhh, pregnancy. What a joy. At least you didn't reverse out of the garage while the door was still closed! Yes, that is my fairy moment - or one of them. The garage door still works but doesn't have that nice flat look anymore, it displays a bent panel to remind me everyday of fairy behavior.

4:33 PM  

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