Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Alyn's wonderful and here's why...


What an auspicious day. June 28th.

Tis the truly astounding Alyn Jones's's's birthday (or at least it still is in the UK and Canada, here it is yesterday...or was yesterday...or forever will be tomorrow. Er, the time thing is slipping away from me).

So here is my official HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALYN JONES. Woohooo!

Now I am hesitating to start this post because those of you who don't know Alyn (you poor beleaguered, deprived creatures)...will think that I have swallowed the hyperbole pill and wandered off in a metaphor-packed haze up to Exaggeration Hill.

But that would be where you were wrong. Remember his wife, AJ and her many talents? Well..this is her husband and a more intimidating pair it is hard to think off when you just list their many perfections and attributes. But Alyn is a big cuddly monkey (though not hairy) and so not really intimidating at all. (ditto AJ, except that she is not in the least like a monkey...hairless or not).

Ok, to clarify. Neither of them is like a monkey.

(It could be a bit early in the morning for me to be attempting to be lucid...I knew I should have written this yesterday.)

So here we go then - and just remember that this is SCANT and DEVOID of hyperbole, and in fact could be a little understated.

Things you should know about Alyn:

1) Alyn is the most enthusiastic person in the entire world. After extensive interviews in many different lands (some of which I could only reach by Yak), I have ascertained this to be a FACT.

2) Alyn could start a party in a small, dark, damp room with just one cheese and pineapple cocktail on a stick, a flat bottle of Diet Coke, at a gathering of "Party Haters Anonymous". Then he would invite in the "Depressed since we can't remember when Group" from next door - and within minutes everyone would be having a grand old time. Yep, he's THAT much fun.

3)Alyn is the most encouraging monkey on the face of the earth. You cannot come into Alyn's orbit (yes he has his own field of gravity..or should that be levity?) without smiling. Within milliseconds of spotting you across the room he will have leapt into the air with glee; proclaiming something like "Blooming Nora it's only the totally fantastic Dave and Adele Richards...how are you two gorgeous, lovely, wonderful creatures? Oooh I've missed you so much....mumble, mumble, mumble..."

(You can't hear the end of the speech cos the enormous hug he is enveloping you in is muffling everything else. But you get the drift.)

4) All this happens in a SCOTTISH accent. Yes, SCOTTISH. I know, it shouldn't be allowed. It's almost too totally good to be true. A bit like having extra whip on top of the whip on top of the extra caramel on top of the white hot chocolate Venti...
(this could actually be Alyn's favourite drink)

5) Not content with giving you the warmest greeting since they crossed a Labrador with a long-lost Italian relative....Alyn will suddenly inject all conversations with further spontaneous exclamations to the effect of "Do you know how completely gobsmackingly wonderful you two are...and how amazing. Oh and have I mentioned that I love you too. And that it's totally amazing to be here?"

Dang, Alyn makes you feel good about yourself. Now if only we could find a way to distill the Essence of Alyn into a bottle...we could make a fortune.

6) Alyn is totally nuts about God and telling others about him in a fun, prophetic way. Yep, you're at Starbucks minding your own business - grunting out your order to the girl behind the till. But Alyn? Oh by jiminy no! Firstly he's inquiring if she has any pain in her body - if yes then he will heal her. Then he'll give her some totally mind blowing word from God like "You only have $4.59 left in your bank account. But God says a pay rise is coming by the end of the week."
Then he'll grin impishly. (The girl will be crying by now - you know, in a good way). And he'll probably tell her how wonderful she is and how much God loves her. Then the girl will fall to her knees in a pool of Caramel Macchiato and ask 'How can I be saved?'
This would be a totally typical interaction in the life of Mr Jones...

7) Should I go on...or are you already weeping that you've never met this guy?

8) Alyn is the man with the plan. But not the itty bitty, "I'll get out of bed and have a coffee today" kind of plan. No. The "I'll prophesy over the entire student body taking up my every lunchtime...just so I can practise and bless them" kind of plan. Committed? Maybe he should be.
No, I mean....he is a dedicated man. He puts his money and his time where his mouth is.
Integrity? Oh yes - 18 bucketloads at my last count.

9)A right old clever clogs he is. I mean like SERIOUSLY. He is the techno, techno, techno, techno THERE'S NO LIMITS ultimate technophile's technophile. Maybe a little more technical than that. IT teacher and all round Mac Genius. He is the guy the Mac Genius's phone up when they get stuck. He should have a Tshirt that reads "Mac Genius....since kindergarten".

10) Also ABLE TO EXPLAIN technology to the techno-idiot. Also WILLING to explain technology to the techno-fool. I mean, he's good with words people, and good with computers. I mean what are the odds against that???
Yes so Alyn is the guy we email/call/cling to in floods of tears when something weird happens with a computer/phone/TV/satellite dish/nuclear test reactor.

And he's so dang nice that he really cares and really helps.

11) Alyn, AJ and Dave may actually be the only 3 people in the entire world to understand air points. I mean you get that the airlines arrange these systems to purposefully be as complicated and full of sub-clauses, addendums and 'ooh we changed our minds" as possible? Yeah well they need to get out of bed in a different time zone to trick Alyn. He knows the points, bonuses, flight paths, seat systems etc better than the people who designed the flipping planes. It would fill many, many blogs to give you examples of all the neat ways he has played the system (legally of course) and proved himself to be very. very. very. clever.

12) Did I mention already that he is an internationally acclaimed public speaker, entertainer and all round amazing communicator?

13) And that he does magic tricks? GOOD ones.

14) And that he gets the best service out of a restaurant that I've ever seen through his own personal charm. Often the meals end up being free.

15) And that he's generous to a fault?

16) And that he lavishes love and attention on his gorgeous wife?

17) Uh and that he won some swanky award and was invited to the Queen's Tea Party at Buck Palace?

18) And that he makes me smile?

Well, phewy...I could go on and on...but I think you've got the gist.

Yep, he's quite the outstanding guy...and so dang likeable. AND he has a Scottish accent.

So, here's to you Alyn (I'm toasting you with a glass of water)....Happy Birthday!

I'm so glad that we got to meet you and know you and that we get to call you friend, Friend.

Have a great rest of your day!

Love,

Adele
xxx

7 Comments:

Blogger A.J. said...

It all true and much more!

A wonderful husband should definitely be added as well as perhaps some accolades for things that should remain secret between man and wife but let's just say I got the upgraded version of the male species.

2:51 AM  
Blogger Laura said...

wow does he have a brother?

11:59 AM  
Blogger Charlene said...

Or a cousin? or someone he has mentored to be like him?

9:01 PM  
Blogger joyce said...

what a lovely account of Mr. Jones...and all so true.
....ladies, how 'bout we all just send him our "men" (when we get them)...and then he can train them up!?..what do ya say??

10:02 PM  
Blogger s@bd said...

you're SO RIGHT adele.

MWA Alyn.

You're gobsmackingly great. And I just couldn't be happier that you and AJ are together.

1:24 AM  
Blogger Adele Richards said...

Alyn, there's only one thing for it. We are going to have to clone you.

Now where was that Helix technology I left lying around...

(that was an obscure ref. to Alias! Ooh does anyone know when the 5th season is out on DVD????)

2:11 AM  
Blogger Charlie said...

oh yeah...sarah's hot.

3:30 AM  

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