Monday, July 17, 2006

An Unfortunate Series of Events involving Harley and The World Famous Buzzy Bee

Dear friends, I feel so loved. Never has one woman received so much good advice concerning pillows, sleep and the curse of the Jimmy Leg.

The general concensus seems to be - ignore the advice to sleep only on your righthand side...and just sleep, dang it - anyway you can. My mother even suggested hanging upside down from the ceiling if it helped. (I think she was joking).

So I am now swaddled in pillows and sleeping much better than before. The pillow under the legs trick seems to work for me. Despite our already King-size bed, Dave is now relegated to the margins and has to cling on to the edge of the mattress like a limpet. He is taking this on the chin. (Sometimes literally if I roll and thrash too enthusiastically.)

So thank you and mwah and thank you again for all your input.

The more alert of you may have noticed my absence in the last few days from the Blogosphere and the Email Kingdom....I even missed a delightful phone call from a raucous bunch of party-goers - aka Lynley, Stu, Sarah, the Dalleys & the Joneses. Dang it. Still I had a good reason.

My friend Karen with whom I used to work at a PR firm once upon a lifetime ago (where we mostly served Pimms to Journalists on Yachts to cajole them into writing about our client's new widget)....and to whose daughter I am a lacksadaisical godmother....and who now lives in Auckland....(breathe) came to visit for the weekend. With husband Steff and aforementioned god-daughter Rhionna.

So I have been trying to do a good impression of someone who can cook.....and show them the highlights of Taupo. Fortunately it was sunny all weekend - the lake and the mountains looking their shiny 'superimposed on a postcard' selves...and they were quite taken with the place.

I even dazzled them with my latest food fetish - roast parsnips. Mmmmmm...parsnips.

Anyway Karen was determined to bring me a gift for the baby. The same gift that was famously presented to Princess Diana and Baby William on a trip to NZ. (Well not literally THE SAME ONE. Although that would have been very cool. And I could have flogged it on my 'Face of the Madonna on a piece of Cheesy Toast'.)

(And if you never read the news story about the mysterious appearance of the likeness of Mary appearing on a piece of toast that was then auctioned on EBay for thousands of dollars (breathe) that last comment will make no sense.)

(I think you're used to that by now).

Oh so the gift was a Buzzy Bee. Which is a wooden toy that you pull by a string and it makes a clacking type sound which to the fertile imagination sounds vaguely like a bee. Apparently (Stu & Lynley - please confirm) this Buzzy Bee is a NZ icon. Sooo Karen proudly presented me with the buzzy bee which she had scoured the town to find. BUT we discovered on closer inspection that this was a DUD Buzzy Bee whose wheels did not turn. Hence no clacking. Hence no bee-ing.

SO as part of one of our outings we had to go back to the Buzzy Bee shop and test them all to find the ONLY ONE in the shop with the proper amount of clacking. Part 1 of the Unfortunate Series of Events.

Meanwhile...a fun time was had by all...lots of tromping around the lake ensued...Rhionna and Steff even went paddling in the boiling (literally) hot thermal waters at the edge of the lake. There were a gaggle of ducks (hang on....what do ducks go out in again? Brotherhoods, triads, sororities, militias?) floating perilously close to the hot waters, I thought. Although - mmm lightly steamed duck might go very well with parsnips...

Back home and I decided as a prank to LOOSELY wrap the end of the Buzzy Bee (with clacking) to Harley's collar so that when Harley moved he dragged the bee with him. Hmmm....little did I know that Rhionna was paying close attention to my antics.
Part 2 of the series of unfortunate events.

Monday morning. The culmination of the series of unfortunate events.....dah dah daaaaaah

I was lying (smothered in pillows) in a bleary eyes state of hibernation (hanging upside down from the ceiling - thanks mum)....when I heard Rhionna's sweet little chatty voice from the kitchen. Parents were clearly downstairs. Shortly afterwards the most almighty crash broke out, followed by a series of bangs, smacks, wallops and smashes.

Strangely I knew exactly what had happened.

Rhionna, emulating her misled godmother, had tied the solid-as-a-rock Buzzy Bee to Harley's collar. Unfortunately whereas I simply threaded the string around Harley's collar a few times so he could easily get away....Rhionna had tied it with some fiendish yachting knot. (Her parents confirmed that she knows a lot of proper knots)

Harley had got spooked. Leapt up and run all the way across the tile floor in the kitchen...and down the tile stairs and out of the cat door - all the while dragging the heavy wooden Buzzy Bee behind him.

It sounded a little like Armageddon.

So now Harley was AT LARGE with a heavv wooden NZ icon attached to his neck.

The pessimistic amongst us immediately had visions of him found hanging from a tree, strangled by the Buzzy Bee cord. Karen started to anticipate me going into early labour from the shock. I pretended to be calm. As we set out on a search party.

Steff & Rhionna set off in one direction and had a very interesting conversation with some workmen as they tried to explain they were looking for a ginger cat with a Buzzy Bee tied round his neck.

Karen and I set off in the other direction and PRAISE BE within a few moments Harley responded to my call....with a plaintive miaow. He then appeared at the top of a garden wall - sans collar and sans Buzzy Bee. But with his precious furry neck in one piece.

Considering the iconic nature of the Buzzy Bee (note - the only properly clacking one in the whole of Taupo)...I then nosed over the neighbour's wall to see if I could see the BB anywhere. The neighbour was in the garden and so ensued the following conversation:

Me: Excuse me, sorry to bother you...but we've had a bit of an incident this morning with our cat and a buzzy bee.
Neighbour: Sorry?
Me: Er, yes. Our cat had a buzzy bee tied to his neck...and I think he may be in your garden.
Neighbour: Sorry?
Me: Um. Can I look for my buzzy bee in your garden. (Really hoping she knows what a Buzzy Bee is)
Neighbour: Oh. Are you our new neighbours?
Me: (sheepishly) Yes.

Now THAT's the way to introduce yourself to the neighbourhood at 8.45am on a Monday.

Anyway Harley saved the day as he then appeared in the garden and led us directly to the buzzy bee...still attached to his collar...hidden in a bush.

The neighbour was incredibly impressed with Harley's intelligence - that he led us straight to the BB. Although he then did get spooked again. Leap in the air with a bushy tail, run round teh garden three times like he was being pursued by the hounds of hell and run up a tree. All the while she watched in amazement.

Yes, I think we have made quite an impression there.

So all's well that end's well. Harley is not strangled. I am not in labour. The Buzzy Bee still clacks.

Although he does look rather chipped after being dragged down 2 flights of stone steps, out a catflap, through a courtyard and into the bushes.

Now if only I had that on video.....

Here is Harley, reconciled with the Buzzy Bee.


Anonymous caroline<> said...

fabby story of the cat and the bee! I laughed muchus as the scene was vividly played out in my head:)
Hugs to you...

4:54 PM  
Anonymous krista said...

Have you seen the movie: Best in Show?
I am wondering if the neurotic couple from seattle in the movie were looking for a buzzy bee for their dog, and if it's the same thing. in which case, that's HYSTERICAL!

9:00 PM  
Blogger Ash said...

Wow - I'm totally amazed that your BB still works! Must be a really good one. Glad that Harley is ok and that you're not in labour just yet :)

Love & Hugs

6:38 PM  

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