Sunday, August 27, 2006

Dave in the hotseat

Have you recovered from the podcast yet?

Because I'm ramping up for a new one...and I have a feeling it's going to be a humdinger.

I thought that you might like to hear from Dave. He's a bit more elusive than me. You know, holds down important jobs and negotiates clever money things day and night. While I direct my energies towards email, blogs and screaming my way through podcasts. Each to their own, eh?

Well I know you lot are rather keen on him and might be suffering from withdrawal symptoms from his cheekychappiness...so I will be interviewing him on my next podcast.

And here's where it gets all interactive...because YOU get to decide the questions.

What do you want to ask Dave?

Leave a comment with your question contained therein and I will force him into a corner and make him answer!

This is your chance to hobknob with Dave and ask him the thing you've always wanted to ask.....

In other news...you have a week to work on honing your questions because I'm shoving off to the big smoke Mon to Fri to go to a conference at Takapuna in Auckland with Bill Johnson and Heidi Baker. Dave is staying here and working clearly. So my high maintenance pregnant self will be inconveniencing my companions - Denise & Sandra. PRAY for them.

Also - thank you so much for praying for Andrea. Baby Madison was born safely although very ickle at 4 pounds. She has on-going lung and kidney issues and is in a special unit in Wellington. They may have to operate on her kidneys. Meanwhile her mum Andrea has pneumonia. So on-going prayers would be appreciated.

I've got 5 weeks till my due date - and am looking really very lardy these days!



Catch you in a few days!

Monday, August 21, 2006

Engage Prayer Hotline

Hi guys! Just had a phone call from Allyson our antenatal meeting coordinator (she who is fond of the endorphin dolphins)...and she asked me to get on the prayer hotline for a couple from our group. And I wondered if you could send up some prayers too for Andrea, Daniel and Baby. Baby is being delivered today about 6 weeks early, but has complications with lung and kidney issues. Allyson didn't go into details but the gist is it's quite serious and they could do with all the prayer support they can get.

THANK YOU.

Also, update on Amanda (James & Denise' daughter). She is doing much better - able to eat and drink, talk and move around. All of which were not possible just a few weeks ago. They haven't been able to diagnose yet what it was that she had...so they are doing continuing tests. She is still VERY thin and frail so please pray she gains back strength and weight.

Also they have to find a new house and move in the next 5 weeks....yikes!

Thanks for being so fab....you are awesome!

Saturday, August 19, 2006

If you have 4 minutes and 10 seconds to spare...

...in between important activities like making a cup of tea or clipping your toenails....you might just want to tune into my second Podcast.

This time I have guests!

And more photos!

Like this one:


And this one that I like to call my "American Pastor's Wife" look:


I had written captions for the photos on the Podcast but I'm not sure how to get them to display...(Alyn?)

But even without them I think there will be quite enough bizarreness for the next 4min 10 seconds of your life...

To have a listen click here and go to the imaginatively entitled "Podcast 2"

AKA Interview with Mike & Lucy Nunn.

Friday, August 18, 2006

"Technologie - thou art vanquished!"

(Said with a Shakespearean flourish!)

I know you've heard it before.

(From Alyn)

But Macs really are THE BOMB.

Flipping Nora I've just been playing with iLife and - lo and behold - I've created a Podcast.

Yep, you can now listen to my dulcet tones live on the Internet.

This is my first effort - so, er, be gentle with me.

Oh and I threw the website together in .3 nanoseconds so squint when you open it so you don't notice how URGLY it is.

But I'm as excited as a Labrador Puppy with a new chewy toy so I couldn't wait to polish things up - I just had to share immediately.

Next I intend to try iMovie....

Be afraid. Be very afaid.

To hear my FIRST EVER PODCAST click here

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Problem solving - the Adele way

(please note the extreme left-brained, mathematical nature of this post, complete with equations and everything. Jason Wendle, be in awe)

Let us commence, class. (Imagine I am writing this on a chalkboard in Einstein-esque style)

Here is the problem as it presents itself:

a) Purple carpets

b) Lots of dark tile flooring

c) Cat shedding white fur
(as if white fur has become radioactive and must be thrown from body urgently and vigorously at regular intervals)

a + b + c = r

where r = ridiculous amount of vacuuming and sweeping

r X r over many days = d

where d = doing my nut on discovery of piles of cat fur on JUST SWEPT, JUST HOOVERED floors.

Possible Solutions:

1) Get rid of cat

(sob, this can't happen, love cat!)

2) Shave cat

(tempting, but again, love cat, so can't subject it to these antics)

3) Stop cleaning as it is patently a pointless and repetitive task.
(also tempting...but fear if stop sucking up cat fur, house will degenerate into mad-old-cat-lady type house where within days all furniture will be white, purely due to accumulation of cat fur. Where asthmatics cannot come within 3 blocks of the house without turning purple and falling down in the street grasping at their chest.)

4) Dye cat purple.

Personally I'm inclined towards number 4. At least that way the fur won't show up on the carpet. It could also provide a neighbourhood talking point. (As if having the cat with the Buzzy Bee tied to its neck isn't good enough already.....)


CAVEAT:

BTW please don't be actually concerned about this situation...cos I'm not. Just indulging my strange sense of humour.

And also displaying incredible formulaic genius.

Don't you think Jason?

Monday, August 14, 2006

Lynley - lovelier than ever!


If wherever you are it is the 15th August....then I have glad tidings of great joy for you.

Tis Lynley's birthday - so let us all take a minute to celebrate in a worthy manner.

Spontaneously leap up from your work desk, grab a colleague and tango across the office...

Stand on your chair, grab a handful of your hair and yell out in a high-pitched voice "By Jiminy how can she be a year older and yet look so young?"

If a stage is available, I counsel a vehement stage dive with a shout of "Lynleeeeeee!"

Or get down on your hands and knees, grab your small child by their clothing and say..."Quick - get me a lollipop and an Elmo puppet....I must celebrate Lynley's birthday!"

Try a little jig around the room and end it in an enthusiastic shimmy.

If at all possible video yourself and I'll post it on the blog. (Ok I haven't quite sussed U Tube, but if you do any of the above it will be worth the effort).

If you have your own idea of how to celebrate please go ahead and report back....

In the meantime here are a few things that I love about Lynley...

1) She has a contagious laugh and incredible smile

2) She is extraordinarily beautiful

3) She is energetic and dynamic

4) She is bold and courageous

5) She is a fabulous cook

6) She knows how to have a good time

7) She is a fun person to hang out with

8) She is inspiring

9) She is down to earth

10) She loves the sun

11) She shares from the heart

12) She has incredible stage presence

13) She is honest

14) She believes in others and enables them to succeed

15) She has the best nails in the world

16) She gives me the best manicures!

17) She loves Stuart a lot!

18) She loves Jordan a lot!

19) She is sexy, elegant and stylish!

20) She is a warm and wonderful host

21) She is very gifted but very humble

22) She always thinks more about others than about herself

23) She has exceptional taste; an incredible eye for design and colour

24) She's a bold adventurer, not afraid to try something new

25) Her singing

26) She is passionate for and honouring of God

27) She is super prophetic but doesn't wear it as a badge

28) She gives and gives and gives

29) She is loyal

30) She is feminine and strong

31) She is a fantastic role model

32) She is my friend!

Ohhhh there are so many things!I would go on but I seem to have a baby trying to crawl up into my rib cage which is making typing a tad uncomfortable!

She is just an amazing woman, isn't she?

Happy Birthday Lynley - you are incredible!

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Does it strike anyone else as ironic.....

That we have a Pooh Changing Table?


(In a similar vein, I used to have a friend who would go around telling people she had Pooh on her knickers. She was 28 at the time.)

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Dave tries his hand at being a woman

A pregnant woman at that.

Yes at Antenatal class last night it was Dave's turn to don the "Pregnancy Belly & Boobs" suit. This is an attractive outfit that simulates the weight of a pregnant woman. All this so that the man can (to quote Shania) "Feel like a woman".

Without fail every man in the class that has worn the Pregnancy Suit has done exactly the same thing within milliseconds. Namely, grabbed his own boobs. Dave was, I am sad to say, no exception. Although he did complain later that "they get in the way". Despite this men seem strangely delighted to have their very own set to fondle at will.

I may be misinterpreting matters. (But I don't think so)

Here he is in all his glory:





Hats off to him for being willing to be ritually humiliated in this way. (Although, again, he seemed to enjoy it....)

I made him lie on his side on the floor (as if he were in bed) and then try to turn over. At this point he understood why the mattress catapults him to the ceiling and back every time I turn over. And I do it ever so delicately I can assure you.

Meanwhile here is the real pregnancy bump. As you can see I have had a sudden growth spurt over the last few days and have "popped out" as they say.





Sing with me...."seven weeks to go....seven weeks to go...."

Can't wait to see our little bundle of joy....and also finally to experience this mysterious birth process. Although I'm much more keen on the first than the second. (Apparently the two do go together though...)

We watched a very brief birth video last night and I didn't pass out. Or puke. Or run from the room screaming "Mummy! Mummy!". Or even sit rocking in the corner singing "I'm going to my happy place...I'm going to my happy place".

It was quite daunting...and I felt quite overwhelmed afterwards. But when the baby was born it was really amazing. So....you take the rough with the smooth don't you? Although according to Allyson (our antenatal coordinator) she would give birth again just for the natural high you get from the endorphins rushing around your body. Hmmmmm....

Dave and I took to calling these the Dolphins (ha ha, we are SO funny). We did a little pantomime routine where we mimicked asking the midwife "When are you going to put the Dolphins in the birthing pool?"

On another note, all the girls in the group are planning on getting together to do plaster casts of our bellies...and then paint them in exciting ways. (the plaster casts, not our bellies) How cool is that? (Ok, weird...but cool....I like my big belly!)

But what do you do with them afterwards, you ask?

Well, you can put them up on the wall over your bed as a timely reminder of the consequences of your actions.

Or you can use them to serve party snacks.

"It's guacamole in the left one, salsa in the right...and corn chips in the big bowl underneath....."

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Random by name, Random by nature

1) There is a bird stuck up my chimney.
This is not a euphemism.

2) This:


is the badge that Japanese officials have designated to be worn by pregnant women on Japanese trains. It says "I have a baby in my stomach" thus implying that "you better give up your seat or the women of Japan may get so hacked off about the lack of seat chivalry that they may go on strike, refusing to have babies, and the population decline will increase further!"

I think if a woman is publically declaring she has a baby in her stomach - she should be arrested and not given a free seat. This can only encourage cannibalism.

3) Tonight at Antenatal we are watching THE video. The birth video. Allyson (the lady wot runs it) looked pointedly at me when she said "You don't have to watch it. You can go and sit in the coal shaft next door instead if you want. With the rats for company. If you are such a squeamish girly loser that you can't cope with the sight of a baby (Japanese or otherwise) extruding out of a stranger."

Except she only actually said the first 6 words.

And I would like to mention I was NOT the one in the class to actually GAG and have to rush out when last week they passed round photos of the third stage of birth ("pulsating placentas, batman!"). It was not I. But it did really happen.

It did not happen to me as I refused to look at the photo in the first place.

Smart, you see.

I'll let you know who is the first to pass out at the sight of the video - pukey girl from last week, me or Dave.

4) Email.

Er. Has there been some kind of universal decision to stop using the medium of email?

If so one of you could have at least emailed me to let me know. Oh. I see. Yes there would be a problem with that.

My inbox is a tundra of emptiness with a few tumbleweeds blowing through.

(These tumbleweeds frequently offer to help me enlarge things or harden them, sometimes get a degree or invest in the stock market...but despite their kindly offers, I have to mark them as Junk)

Of course The Elijah List has been diligently filling my inbox and I have even been reduced to READING A FEW OF THEM. Yes. This is the desperation of the hour.
(Although clearly I don't read the "Best CD Selection Ever, on Limited Offer NOW for 52 weeks ONLY" types.)

Ok, so most if not all of you have very good reasons not to be emailing (birth of babies...the fact that I haven't replied to your previous 16...moving house....having a life) but here are some of the emailers who are M.I.A:


As you can see I have constructed a shrine in their memory.

This person just missed being outed as a 'non emailer' on my blog by squeaking in with an 11th hour email just seconds ago. (ok, ok, so she doesn't have a laptop, wasn't at work and had a 3 day weekend...but are these good reasons to not email? Uh. Yes they are.)



5) Apologies to those singled out for attention in the last point. They are actually very good emailers. I just wanted an excuse to put up photos of them on my blog. As for the rest of you though......tsk.

6) I didn't make a fool of myself at Aquanatal yesterday. I managed to remember to use both my arms and legs when swimming, and to make one arm go forward and the other backward at the requisite moment. One girl did manage to pop right out of her bikini top though. Perhaps my mantle of embarrassing moments has been passed to Pukey Girl and Pop Out Girl.

7) It has been raining for the last 83 squillion days. But has stopped and is now gloriously sunny. I like the sound of rain because it reminds me of England.

8) I slept. Holy Macaroni. Last night I slept.

From 10pm till 4.45am. This is the longest stretch I can remember in recent months. I woke up smiling because it was so utterly delicious. Then I couldn't breathe. I didn't mind too much as I just slept for nearly SEVEN hours. Then I got cramp. But I didn't mind too much as I just slept for nearly SEVEN hours. Today I feel like a new person. Boy, sleeping is great.

9) Don't be dyslexic and read my last sentence as 'sleeping with boys is great'. Cos that is not what I wrote at all. Pay attention.

10) It has been a little whirr of School of Ministry re-encounters here lately. 2 weekends ago when we were in Queenstown, Katherine Ellis of Palmerston North was in town and left 83.2 phone messages trying to get hold of us. Sorry Katherine....we were in Queenstown. Sorry to have missed you.

Then the weekend after that Abigail (German student from SoM) and her hubbie Tim were skiing at the resort down the road and came into town to have lunch with me. Actually they bought me lunch. They are fab. They live in Wellington.

Then this weekend Natasha Roderick (as twas) and hubbie Allen were down the road in Tauranga and drove here in torrential rain to have lunch with us. They live in Auckland. Do you remember Natasha of Bible School Fame...and star of a Bollywood movie? Luckily for you Natasha I couldn't find that website with your modelling photos on...otherwise they would be plastered all over this blog right now! It was very lovely to catch up with them. And they brought the sproglet gifts of Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh. (Well, cute outfits from Pumpkin Patch which is definitely as good.)

Meanwhile...some SoM graduates and former staff who I have never previously met....but of whom much have I heard....are in town. This is Mike and Lucy Nunn from...well sort of from Tonbridge Wells I guess. We have lots of friends in common....Sarah Dalley, Jon Patell, Scott & Steff Jones, Jenni Sandford, Greg Vegetable...so it is like we know them already. Dave and I are big fans of theirs. They popped by yesterday to freeload of us....using our wireless internet. CUH. I couldn't have been more delighted.

Here they are engrossed in the world of Mac. Mike is on Skype with Scott & Steph Jones....




11) I am currently drinking Feijoa Juice. It looks like snot, but tastes like the nectar of the gods.

12) I am currently reading "The Official New Zealand Road Code For Car Drivers"
Yes I am about to take my third driving test in my third nation on the third continent we have lived on.

SIGH.

Fortunately the Kiwis only need me to take a written test and not a practical one. Considering my current powers of coordination, this is a very good thing.

Perhaps not the best time in my life however to be trying to force my brain cells to retain information like how many miligrams of alcohol per mililitre of blood you are allowed (30 per 100 if you are under 20...or a whopping 80 per 100 if you are over 20).

Mind you I did learn this yesterday. In the NIGHT driving category under Safety Tips:

"never wear dark glasses"

But what will Bono do if he ever moves to NZ?

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Love Languages

Following on from AJ's blog...I took the test for Love Languages.

Bizarrely my love languages seem to change over time. Once upon a time I was all about the Quality Time and the Gifts....but seems Toronto has turned me into a touchy feely, huggy kind of a person....or more so than I ever used to be. (Used to be...hug me, hug a tree...what's the difference?)

Back then I was all "Pah, Acts of Service - what a load of nonsense! Who shows love by putting the ironing board away? Just give me a gift you AOS freak"

And NOW, NOW I find I value the AOSsers more than the Gifters.

Can this be right!? Is this just because I seem almost incapable of doing anything for myself at the moment that AOS is right up my street?

Or perhaps Dave has brainwashed me into seeing the value of the AOS....?

But when Sarah sent me a parcel of goodies the other day I WEPT with joy as I felt so loved and understood. And that's gifts!

Guess I can only conclude that I officially an a greedy guts for all of the love languages.

Please feel free to tweak my earlobe, tell me what a lovely earlobe I have, spend time with my earlobe, buy me an earring for the earlobe....and then put the ironing board away.

It's all good.

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Physical Touch
with a secondary love language being
Words of Affirmation.

Complete set of results

Physical Touch:  10
Words of Affirmation:  8
Quality Time:  5
Acts of Service:  4
Receiving Gifts:  2


Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Update on Amanda - from Denise

Hi Everyone,
thank you so much for praying for Amanda, she is in quite a serious condition...they are not at all sure what is wrong with her...they first of all thought it was virile meningitis they did a spinal tap and now they are not so sure...two days ago they said there was no bacteria but her condition is worsening so we took her back to the hospital tonight..they gave her a drip to rehydrate her and did some more blood tests and a urine test..now they say there is infection. She has lost so much weight and can't eat.she has a really sore throat and can hardly swallow water without tears. She still has a high temperature is very weak ...Thank you for praying...if the throat cleared up we might make some headway.
Much love
Denise


Adele says - let's pray hard that it's not bacterial meningitis as that is a very serious condition indeed.

Thanks guys!
xx

Friday, August 04, 2006

Urgent Prayer Request!

Hi guys! Please pray for Amanda - James & Denise Jordan's daughter.

She is in hospital in Sydney with Viral Meningitis. She has been very sick for the last few days and they've just diagnosed it.

They gave her a lumbar puncture today, but unfortunately the person doing it had never done one before and took 5 attempts before handing over to someone else. So she is in excruciating pain in her back as well as suffering pressure in her head, sickness etc.

Denise has flown over today to be with her.

Thanks for your prayers.

xx

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Jane Fonda never had a workout like this one....

Ah remember the 80s?

Purple lycra leotards. Leg warmers. Leroy from Fame. Jane Fonda, whippet thin, flinging her legs up to her earlobes?

Well our dear friend Jane missed a trick. The outsides may have looked toned to within an inch of her skeletal structure...but what was the fitness industry doing for the humble internal organ, I ask you? Nothing. That's what. (Unless giving middle aged women heart attacks counts).

Fear not dear friends, as I am personally righting the wrongs and redressing the balance. Yes, the outside may be a little flabby (can I help it if the baby insists on bacon?)....but my insides are getting the workout of their lives.

"How?" you cry.

Well thanks to this:


Mmmmm....Pregnancy Tea. And just in case you can't read the label it says, "Supports the regular tone of the uterus, the normal kidney functions and the nervous system".

But how does it do this miraculous uterine workout?

Well with a concoction of Raspberry Leaves, Lady's mantle, Nettle, St John's Wort, Lemon Balm, Horsetail and Yarrow.

Somebody please tell me that Horsetail....er....isn't.

And what does this miracle juice look like?
Like this:


Mmmmm. And I only have to drink 3 cups a day. My midwife promised that it tastes a little like grass cuttings.

Disturbingly I am finding that a) this is true and b) I rather like it.

Never having been much of a one for the old herbal remedies and all things natural...I feel quite liberated to be Little Miss Herbal. I am also dosing my hot water bottle with lavender oil to promote sleep.

(Haven't noticed it working so much as yet. But the bedroom does smell of old ladies. Which is nice.)

But the tea does seem to be working as I am having "tightenings". The technical term for when your stomach kind of goes rigid and you can bounce coins off it. It's quite exciting. This is all getting the uterus in training for popping the baby out in 6 to 8 weeks time.

Can you believe it? I'm 32 weeks this Friday and so my due date is 40 weeks....but it can happen any time from 38 weeks. (Just ask Lynley).

Last night at antenatal we were discussing the signs of labour. Seems like it's a tad tricky to tell when you are actually in labour. You know, unless you see the baby's head....

But one of the signs that you are about to go into labour is something called "a show". Just in case you are eating I won't describe what this is exactly. Let me just say...'something comes out'.

Well I was REALLY trying to behave myself at the class last night but this was all too much. I mean there's only so much comedic material a girl can ignore.

I started humming the theme to The Muppets Show. Which led to a little re-enactment..."What do you think of the show so far?" "Rubbish!".

Then switched to belting out 'The Phantom of the Opera!'. Finally lifting one leg and yelling out "Oh no! I think I'm having a show!"

Let's just say, I am creating an impression in these classes.

Meanwhile I was trying to get - ooh a tightening...live on blog - I was trying to get Dave to take some more pregnancy photos of me. Unfortunately this is what happens when a Mover personality is asked to take a picture of a Faffer personality:


I was still removing the cat fur from my bump as the photo shoot started. I did just about manage to get all of me in one photo before he finished. Can't really see the bump....but at least you can see the cute cardigan that Miss Dalley sent to me.


Unfortunately for the state of our floors the nesting instinct hasn't kicked in yet. Unless printing off photos of you lot, framing them and putting them all over the house counts. It's nice to see your smiling faces around me.

Ok that's all the news from here...

xx