Thursday, August 10, 2006

Dave tries his hand at being a woman

A pregnant woman at that.

Yes at Antenatal class last night it was Dave's turn to don the "Pregnancy Belly & Boobs" suit. This is an attractive outfit that simulates the weight of a pregnant woman. All this so that the man can (to quote Shania) "Feel like a woman".

Without fail every man in the class that has worn the Pregnancy Suit has done exactly the same thing within milliseconds. Namely, grabbed his own boobs. Dave was, I am sad to say, no exception. Although he did complain later that "they get in the way". Despite this men seem strangely delighted to have their very own set to fondle at will.

I may be misinterpreting matters. (But I don't think so)

Here he is in all his glory:

Hats off to him for being willing to be ritually humiliated in this way. (Although, again, he seemed to enjoy it....)

I made him lie on his side on the floor (as if he were in bed) and then try to turn over. At this point he understood why the mattress catapults him to the ceiling and back every time I turn over. And I do it ever so delicately I can assure you.

Meanwhile here is the real pregnancy bump. As you can see I have had a sudden growth spurt over the last few days and have "popped out" as they say.

Sing with me...."seven weeks to weeks to go...."

Can't wait to see our little bundle of joy....and also finally to experience this mysterious birth process. Although I'm much more keen on the first than the second. (Apparently the two do go together though...)

We watched a very brief birth video last night and I didn't pass out. Or puke. Or run from the room screaming "Mummy! Mummy!". Or even sit rocking in the corner singing "I'm going to my happy place...I'm going to my happy place".

It was quite daunting...and I felt quite overwhelmed afterwards. But when the baby was born it was really amazing. take the rough with the smooth don't you? Although according to Allyson (our antenatal coordinator) she would give birth again just for the natural high you get from the endorphins rushing around your body. Hmmmmm....

Dave and I took to calling these the Dolphins (ha ha, we are SO funny). We did a little pantomime routine where we mimicked asking the midwife "When are you going to put the Dolphins in the birthing pool?"

On another note, all the girls in the group are planning on getting together to do plaster casts of our bellies...and then paint them in exciting ways. (the plaster casts, not our bellies) How cool is that? (Ok, weird...but cool....I like my big belly!)

But what do you do with them afterwards, you ask?

Well, you can put them up on the wall over your bed as a timely reminder of the consequences of your actions.

Or you can use them to serve party snacks.

"It's guacamole in the left one, salsa in the right...and corn chips in the big bowl underneath....."


Blogger A.J. said...

I think Party snacks sounds like an excellent use for those things!

No but seriously I have seen them done on TV (A Baby Story I think) and they were really pretty.... well depending on how they were painted!
But with you being so stinking talented and creative it should look great!

Oh and then if Dave wants to wear it around the house and sproke his paper mache boobs he can!

6:08 AM  
Blogger A.J. said...

Sproke? Good heavens I meant to say stroke!

6:10 AM  
Blogger chirobiro said...

fab photos Deli.

proper preggy tummy going on there, although very neat and tidy. My tummy is bout the same size, but there ain't nothing in the oven !!!! I would be bigger than a house if i had something else living there as well !!


2:44 PM  
Anonymous Alyn said...

Oh my gosh - I don't know what was funnier - the pictures of David or the serving of snacks in a body cast. I near laughed my legs off.

7:01 PM  
Blogger Charlie said...

i am not sure at all what to make of the pictures of dave with boobs. is this the guy i used to go camping with & sip scotch by the fire...and punch & carouse in a manly way?

2:23 AM  
Blogger s@bd said...

As far as pregnant women go ... I'm afraid you're much better at it than Dave. You look AMAZING!

Please, PRETTY PLEASE use it for snacks. I TRIPLE-DOG-DARE you!!

4:18 PM  
Anonymous krista said...

I am STILL laughing. oh Adele, you are so hilariously funny.

10:10 PM  
Anonymous Stuart said...

I can't believe the fun you are having at your ante natal classes. I mean to say, playing with boobs, manovering into compromising positions..... or nearly, party games and ONLY ONE BIRTH VIDEO.

We only had 4 sessions and had to watch 4 horrific videos that nearly made us faint. I feel jipped by the Canadian service.....

You seem to be having a grand time..... well done.

7 weeks to go, 7 weeks to go..... maybe 5.... it happens you know.

1:54 AM  
Blogger Adele Richards said...

AJ - I dunno, I think Dave could embrace 'sproking' his fake boobs...

Charlie - No this is not the same guy. I traded him in for the latest model which has higher levels of oestrogen and can bear to watch Chick Flicks.

Although, come to think of it, the Chick Flick application is malfunctioning. I may have to take him back to the shop....

6:23 AM  
Blogger Mimo said...

Adele! Baby coming soon? Been away from blogland for a wee while..Also having some "I'd like a bump too" kinda feelings..hehee..Blessings Love Mimosa xx

10:03 PM  

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