Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Problem solving - the Adele way

(please note the extreme left-brained, mathematical nature of this post, complete with equations and everything. Jason Wendle, be in awe)

Let us commence, class. (Imagine I am writing this on a chalkboard in Einstein-esque style)

Here is the problem as it presents itself:

a) Purple carpets

b) Lots of dark tile flooring

c) Cat shedding white fur
(as if white fur has become radioactive and must be thrown from body urgently and vigorously at regular intervals)

a + b + c = r

where r = ridiculous amount of vacuuming and sweeping

r X r over many days = d

where d = doing my nut on discovery of piles of cat fur on JUST SWEPT, JUST HOOVERED floors.

Possible Solutions:

1) Get rid of cat

(sob, this can't happen, love cat!)

2) Shave cat

(tempting, but again, love cat, so can't subject it to these antics)

3) Stop cleaning as it is patently a pointless and repetitive task.
(also tempting...but fear if stop sucking up cat fur, house will degenerate into mad-old-cat-lady type house where within days all furniture will be white, purely due to accumulation of cat fur. Where asthmatics cannot come within 3 blocks of the house without turning purple and falling down in the street grasping at their chest.)

4) Dye cat purple.

Personally I'm inclined towards number 4. At least that way the fur won't show up on the carpet. It could also provide a neighbourhood talking point. (As if having the cat with the Buzzy Bee tied to its neck isn't good enough already.....)


BTW please don't be actually concerned about this situation...cos I'm not. Just indulging my strange sense of humour.

And also displaying incredible formulaic genius.

Don't you think Jason?


Blogger A.J. said...

I don't know what Jason has to say but here are my thoughts:

a) Die cat purple, shave cat short, convert to outdoor furry spectacle cat.

b)Die cat purple, kill and stuff cat, sit stuff cat on plastic bag in low traffic area of house and should stop shedding.

4:09 AM  
Blogger A.J. said...

By the way my word verification for the last comment was shyven.... close to shaven don't you think? Perhaps it's a sign.

4:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

keep cat in a hat...

9:34 AM  
Blogger s@bd said...

aj: don't you like cats? I don't know ... maybe I'm prophetic? It just seems you aren't particularly caring toward this cat ...

4:57 PM  
Anonymous sarah said...

How about vacuuming Harley on a daily basis?
That way the fur will be sucked off him before it hits the floor...
However, I love Harley and if he's scared of the vacuum cleaner, this might not be the best plan..

7:28 PM  
Blogger Adele Richards said...

Hmmm...some excellent ideas. I think I'll go with Fi:

"keep cat in hat"

But maybe go one further and:

"place hat on mat"

(And that will be the end of that?)

9:18 PM  
Blogger Laura said...

what was it Quentin Crisp said ..... you get no more dust after 12 months of not dusting so don't bother. Maybe you could leave it (like the mad cat woman idea) and build another cat so puss can play outside more with his new pal.

No more shedding unless you go totally mad and start hoovering the garden.

3:26 PM  
Anonymous krista said...

Jason, ironically, is in Math Camp (yes no joke, a prelim to regular math at KSG Harvard..) but will get with you asap. :)

2:56 AM  
Anonymous jason said...

it's true, i can see your formulaic genius...though in another field, such as literature, that could be an oxymoron.

what i would really like to see, however, is some sort of a graph depicting something like the rate at which you are willing to substitute floor cleanliness for the pleasure derived from a cat. :)

do you know about the following possible alternative?

3:40 AM  
Blogger Linda Hope said... brain hurts. All that problem-solving is like a blur to me. Is my computer floating or is it me?

i aspire to be you one day

2:33 AM  

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