Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Random by name, Random by nature

1) There is a bird stuck up my chimney.
This is not a euphemism.

2) This:

is the badge that Japanese officials have designated to be worn by pregnant women on Japanese trains. It says "I have a baby in my stomach" thus implying that "you better give up your seat or the women of Japan may get so hacked off about the lack of seat chivalry that they may go on strike, refusing to have babies, and the population decline will increase further!"

I think if a woman is publically declaring she has a baby in her stomach - she should be arrested and not given a free seat. This can only encourage cannibalism.

3) Tonight at Antenatal we are watching THE video. The birth video. Allyson (the lady wot runs it) looked pointedly at me when she said "You don't have to watch it. You can go and sit in the coal shaft next door instead if you want. With the rats for company. If you are such a squeamish girly loser that you can't cope with the sight of a baby (Japanese or otherwise) extruding out of a stranger."

Except she only actually said the first 6 words.

And I would like to mention I was NOT the one in the class to actually GAG and have to rush out when last week they passed round photos of the third stage of birth ("pulsating placentas, batman!"). It was not I. But it did really happen.

It did not happen to me as I refused to look at the photo in the first place.

Smart, you see.

I'll let you know who is the first to pass out at the sight of the video - pukey girl from last week, me or Dave.

4) Email.

Er. Has there been some kind of universal decision to stop using the medium of email?

If so one of you could have at least emailed me to let me know. Oh. I see. Yes there would be a problem with that.

My inbox is a tundra of emptiness with a few tumbleweeds blowing through.

(These tumbleweeds frequently offer to help me enlarge things or harden them, sometimes get a degree or invest in the stock market...but despite their kindly offers, I have to mark them as Junk)

Of course The Elijah List has been diligently filling my inbox and I have even been reduced to READING A FEW OF THEM. Yes. This is the desperation of the hour.
(Although clearly I don't read the "Best CD Selection Ever, on Limited Offer NOW for 52 weeks ONLY" types.)

Ok, so most if not all of you have very good reasons not to be emailing (birth of babies...the fact that I haven't replied to your previous 16...moving house....having a life) but here are some of the emailers who are M.I.A:

As you can see I have constructed a shrine in their memory.

This person just missed being outed as a 'non emailer' on my blog by squeaking in with an 11th hour email just seconds ago. (ok, ok, so she doesn't have a laptop, wasn't at work and had a 3 day weekend...but are these good reasons to not email? Uh. Yes they are.)

5) Apologies to those singled out for attention in the last point. They are actually very good emailers. I just wanted an excuse to put up photos of them on my blog. As for the rest of you though......tsk.

6) I didn't make a fool of myself at Aquanatal yesterday. I managed to remember to use both my arms and legs when swimming, and to make one arm go forward and the other backward at the requisite moment. One girl did manage to pop right out of her bikini top though. Perhaps my mantle of embarrassing moments has been passed to Pukey Girl and Pop Out Girl.

7) It has been raining for the last 83 squillion days. But has stopped and is now gloriously sunny. I like the sound of rain because it reminds me of England.

8) I slept. Holy Macaroni. Last night I slept.

From 10pm till 4.45am. This is the longest stretch I can remember in recent months. I woke up smiling because it was so utterly delicious. Then I couldn't breathe. I didn't mind too much as I just slept for nearly SEVEN hours. Then I got cramp. But I didn't mind too much as I just slept for nearly SEVEN hours. Today I feel like a new person. Boy, sleeping is great.

9) Don't be dyslexic and read my last sentence as 'sleeping with boys is great'. Cos that is not what I wrote at all. Pay attention.

10) It has been a little whirr of School of Ministry re-encounters here lately. 2 weekends ago when we were in Queenstown, Katherine Ellis of Palmerston North was in town and left 83.2 phone messages trying to get hold of us. Sorry Katherine....we were in Queenstown. Sorry to have missed you.

Then the weekend after that Abigail (German student from SoM) and her hubbie Tim were skiing at the resort down the road and came into town to have lunch with me. Actually they bought me lunch. They are fab. They live in Wellington.

Then this weekend Natasha Roderick (as twas) and hubbie Allen were down the road in Tauranga and drove here in torrential rain to have lunch with us. They live in Auckland. Do you remember Natasha of Bible School Fame...and star of a Bollywood movie? Luckily for you Natasha I couldn't find that website with your modelling photos on...otherwise they would be plastered all over this blog right now! It was very lovely to catch up with them. And they brought the sproglet gifts of Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh. (Well, cute outfits from Pumpkin Patch which is definitely as good.)

Meanwhile...some SoM graduates and former staff who I have never previously met....but of whom much have I heard....are in town. This is Mike and Lucy Nunn from...well sort of from Tonbridge Wells I guess. We have lots of friends in common....Sarah Dalley, Jon Patell, Scott & Steff Jones, Jenni Sandford, Greg Vegetable...so it is like we know them already. Dave and I are big fans of theirs. They popped by yesterday to freeload of us....using our wireless internet. CUH. I couldn't have been more delighted.

Here they are engrossed in the world of Mac. Mike is on Skype with Scott & Steph Jones....

11) I am currently drinking Feijoa Juice. It looks like snot, but tastes like the nectar of the gods.

12) I am currently reading "The Official New Zealand Road Code For Car Drivers"
Yes I am about to take my third driving test in my third nation on the third continent we have lived on.


Fortunately the Kiwis only need me to take a written test and not a practical one. Considering my current powers of coordination, this is a very good thing.

Perhaps not the best time in my life however to be trying to force my brain cells to retain information like how many miligrams of alcohol per mililitre of blood you are allowed (30 per 100 if you are under 20...or a whopping 80 per 100 if you are over 20).

Mind you I did learn this yesterday. In the NIGHT driving category under Safety Tips:

"never wear dark glasses"

But what will Bono do if he ever moves to NZ?


Anonymous Sarah said...

I love your blog. It makes me happy. You need to write a book on prenatal classes. Perhaps have lots of children and go to different ones in different places. I think it would be a funny book.

12:54 AM  
Blogger A.J. said...

I personally think you should write much longer blog entries (Ok just kidding) and add more old pictures of people I know for fun! (Not kidding I like em!)

3:38 AM  
Blogger s@bd said...


Seriously? That's, like, TWELVE blogs in one.

Did you ever think of, like, saving some of it and publishing it over the next 3 or 4 days? That way you look like a consistant blogger and I don't have to concentrate for so long at one time.

4:41 AM  
Blogger Adele Richards said...

Huh? People complaining my blogs are too long?

How about you come back and read it in sections over the next 3/4 days?

Tsk. The ingratitude.

5:26 AM  
Blogger s@bd said...


1:47 AM  
Anonymous krista said...

woe? (that's: "what on earth" in response to my not understanding shannons lmao) anyways. i am alive! i am not MIA. the bostonian chowdahs have not tied me down and forced me to read harvard literature and drink tea in and then throw it in rivers. i am freely walking all around with my new air of ohmigosh i just moved! i'm so sorry i haven't written adele. you are so amazing, and i don't blame you one bit for not looking at that picture. please write more. i love it. and i read it, every last bit. :)

3:48 AM  

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