Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Are you a glass half-empty or glass half-full kind of person?

So this should separate the sheep from the goats....the espressos from the lattes....or more to the point the cats from the dogs.

Here is an email that my lovely sis-in-law - Christa sent me today.

So my question is, who do you relate to more?

And don't give me some tripe about not relating to animal behaviours. I've seen how you eat.

(Although if I were inclined towards being a dog, I might like the tripe....hmmmm)

A Dog's Diary

7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!



A Cat's Diary

Day 183 of my captivity.

My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.

The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. Maybe I should try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. I must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little kitty cat I was. This is not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing something called "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks with them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.

But I can wait.

It's only a matter of time..........

7 Comments:

Blogger A.J. said...

Sad to say I am probably the cat!

but more at the Lion end of "cat" then the average house cat. (or at least that what I like to tell myself)

2:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

well obviously the dog!
Laura T
x

3:23 PM  
Anonymous krista said...

this is the prime example why i am slightly, no actually, i am extremely suspiciuos of cats.

4:04 PM  
Blogger s@bd said...

hysterical.

(and i'm an iguana.)

4:11 PM  
Blogger weegeemcschuler said...

Halarious! Of course I am still an avid cat-lover. I like dogs, but the very way the e-mail describes them is my fodder for fire of Jason's liking of dogs, as the wise cat says, they are half-wits. The e-mail should have also featured:
7.30 OH boy! Smacked by Daddy and sent out in the cold for knocking over child!Oh boy, my favourite! And hence my entire arguement to the wondrous independent yet fabulous cat :0)Long live the cat....and the dog, so long as I don't have to smell the dog in my house or car :0)

4:18 PM  
Blogger Andrew G said...

hysterically funny Adele!!

I LOVE DOGS!!

9:38 PM  
Blogger Sarah-Aubrey said...

Oh, my sides! My aching sides! I'm laughing out loud at a cafe...and those around me are wondering why...

I LOVE CATS!!

8:06 PM  

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