Monday, February 26, 2007

Old MacDonald should really have a health and safety inspection

Dearest ones, please forgive the lack of posts and emails of late. I am in mourning for the newly departed Sarah Dalley. Ag.

Fortunately I am anticipating her return very shortly as the job offer from the NZ Tourist Board is in the post/mail.

So far she is the only visitor that has enjoyed nothing but startllng sunshine since coming here. In fact since the day she came to the day she left (that heinous and distressing day on which I seriously contemplated mutilating her, really...SERIOUSLY contemplated) there was the most brilliant sunshine.

Hence the NZ Tourist Board is scrabbling to get a job offer to her before Barbados tries to get to her and snaffle up more of the global sunshine hours. She will paid to enter NZ and remain here, eating steak, drinking beer, playing with small godchild and soaking up the sun...that she has brought with her. (I nearly typed 'sin' then instead of 'sun' which is an interesting concept but entirely wrong of course).

Here is the kind of weather that you can expect when Sarah Faith Dalley is in NZ:

She whips up some fairly decent sunsets too:

Yes, so NZ needs her you see.

And to add further proof I have a video. For during the last few weeks I have discovered that Sarah has another hidden talent. Animal sound effects. She is a very convincing gorilla, meer cat, even a swarm of bees.

So for a rendition of Old Macdonald like you've never seen it before you really should take the 1.5 hours it will take to downlaod the 6minute clip. I know, I know, 6 minutes is too long....but I just couldn't edit any of it out.

Oh and Honour is in the video too. Purportedly as the reason/excuse for us to lark about making strange noises.

Click Here to watch the video

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

What's cuter than a baby....?

Two babies of course!

I hope that this post will not brand you on the bottom with the cattle prod of searing jealousy when I tell you that not only do I have the lovely Sarah Dalley staying at the moment...but also Stuart, Lynley and baby Jordan. (See? You are smelling slightly singed now)

Hence about a million photos.... (Lynley will also be posting about a gazillion photos in due course but she wants me to tell you that she has forgotten to pack her photo downloader thingymabob in amongst the baby mat, baby chair, baby bath chair, baby travel cot, baby clothes, baby food, baby nappies, baby car seat and baby stroller that she did bring with her.Travelling with a baby....not as easy as it looks!)

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Isabella Victoria Render

WOOOOHOOOO! My brother and sister-in-law have had their baby girl!

Isabella Victoria was born on 17 February weighting 7lb2!

Isn't she just too gorgeous? Honour is very excited to have a baby cousin.

(Ok well it's me that's excited..but hey, she would be too if she knew what a baby cousin was!)

Huge congrats to Christa and James!

Monday, February 12, 2007

Please sir can I have some more? (Photo story by Honour)

Here I am, minding my own business. Albeit strapped into a mighty snazzy high chair. (You should have heard the arguments my mother dragged out to justify buying this Italian designer model)

When suddenly a strange substance is introduced to my mouthal cavity...a strange substance called 'solids' (although it looks more like wallpaper paste to me.)

Holy Macaroni this stuff tastes good!

Hey, is there any steak in there?

Could you be a darling and pass me a serviette? One hates to appear uncouth.

Please sir can I have some more?

Is mummy smiling because she managed to find a turquoise high chair...or because she is beyond thrilled that I find Baby Rice to be the very nectar that my soul (and stomach) has been longing for?

Friday, February 02, 2007

Signs of the Times

(Did I mention I met Prince once? In a 'our eyes met across a crowded check-in and he snarled at me' kind of a way?)

(Does that make me enough of a celebrity to go on some kind of reality TV show "Strictly Come Dancing in the Jungle cos Help I'm a Celebrity with Nothing Else to Do"?)

Anyway, the SIGN I am referring to is one I saw last night in the window of a petrol/gas station in Taupo.

The sign read, "Employees cannot open safe"

That gave me pause.

I mean, what kind of employer advertises his staff's failings by publically declaring them in the window?

What other signs might appear next?

"Employees not very good at cashing up"

"Employees cannot spell"

"Employees have terrible fashion sense and wear too many cardigans"

"Employees smell a bit funny"

In other news, I think Honour is teething. She has the drool (I think it is ironic that the main reason I never wanted to have a dog is that they drool all over you. And I really don't like to be drooled on. Well, only from a distance by George Clooney...he's ALWAYS drooling over me. But that aside, I don't like the doggy drool. Well, Fido can keep his pathetic amount of salivary action and his wobbly jowls, cos I have a baby that produces enough gloop, well...what do you do with gloop? Send it to underprivileged philatelists (stamp collectors) who don't have enough mouthal moisture to lick their own stamps? You get my drift)

Yes so there's the drool. And there's the crying. And there's the constantly wanting to be held. And there's the pink cheeks. And there's the weird changes to her toiletry functions (which we don't need to go into). And there's the wanting to chomp on anything and everything.

I'm thinking of gnawing off my own arm and giving it to her to suck on.

Other than that, I'm taking it all totally in my stride.

(Falls to floor, bangs head on ground, goes unconscious for a few days and wakes up when it's all over.)

(Sorry, you accidentally entered my private fantasy world there for a moment. I can only apologise.)