Friday, February 02, 2007

Signs of the Times

(Did I mention I met Prince once? In a 'our eyes met across a crowded check-in and he snarled at me' kind of a way?)

(Does that make me enough of a celebrity to go on some kind of reality TV show "Strictly Come Dancing in the Jungle cos Help I'm a Celebrity with Nothing Else to Do"?)

Anyway, the SIGN I am referring to is one I saw last night in the window of a petrol/gas station in Taupo.

The sign read, "Employees cannot open safe"

That gave me pause.

I mean, what kind of employer advertises his staff's failings by publically declaring them in the window?

What other signs might appear next?

"Employees not very good at cashing up"

"Employees cannot spell"

"Employees have terrible fashion sense and wear too many cardigans"

"Employees smell a bit funny"

In other news, I think Honour is teething. She has the drool (I think it is ironic that the main reason I never wanted to have a dog is that they drool all over you. And I really don't like to be drooled on. Well, only from a distance by George Clooney...he's ALWAYS drooling over me. But that aside, I don't like the doggy drool. Well, Fido can keep his pathetic amount of salivary action and his wobbly jowls, cos I have a baby that produces enough gloop to....er, well...what do you do with gloop? Send it to underprivileged philatelists (stamp collectors) who don't have enough mouthal moisture to lick their own stamps? You get my drift)

Yes so there's the drool. And there's the crying. And there's the constantly wanting to be held. And there's the pink cheeks. And there's the weird changes to her toiletry functions (which we don't need to go into). And there's the wanting to chomp on anything and everything.

I'm thinking of gnawing off my own arm and giving it to her to suck on.

Other than that, I'm taking it all totally in my stride.

(Falls to floor, bangs head on ground, goes unconscious for a few days and wakes up when it's all over.)

(Sorry, you accidentally entered my private fantasy world there for a moment. I can only apologise.)

6 Comments:

Anonymous Fi said...

the more i learn about babies, the more content i become with my vicarious involvment! and of course, as soon as you say something like "which we don't need to go into.." i instantly what to know - no matter how gross it's going to be (but i respect a girl's privacy!)

11:33 AM  
Blogger s@bd said...

You never wanted a dog because they drool all over you ... and then you had a baby.

yes. that IS ironic. The very definition, I believe.

8:51 PM  
Blogger A.J. said...

Cute drool though!

11:05 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

But its very exciting when one day all of sudden this tiny tooth is there, the suprises is you'd think a milk tooth would be like a little rounded pearl..... but no, they are more like tiny sharp razor blades.
Still breast feeding?
No its ok, I'm still feeding poppy she rarely ever bites!

7:33 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

P.s. I'm pregnant (15 weeks)

7:34 PM  
Anonymous caroline <> said...

honour is gettting even more cute ~how could it be possible!!!! ?? We have been out of internet connections so sitting in coffee shop at present and I am waiting for gillian to collect me to go back to hers for dinner and thought i would check on honour and parents wellbeing and glad to see you all being well! have you seen the allans as yet?
all receive oodles of our love please!

11:37 PM  

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