Sunday, April 29, 2007

What's cuter than a baby?

A baby in a swimsuit.





Honour is a big, wet raspberry away from being seven months and had her first trip to the swimming pool today. You'll be delighted to know that I took a lot of wobbly, dark footage with sudden extreme close-ups and wildly lunging pan-outs....all to the indeterminate screams of people plunging down the slides. But you'll have to wait for this Spielberg-worthy offering.

My Mac is having a nervous breakdown, you see, and is in electric shock treatment at this very moment to try to sort out its schizophrenic hard drive. I'm typing this on Dave's "Daddy Bear" Mac instead. I'm actually getting quite fond of this full-size keyboard (which lights up - cooo-eeee) - it could definitely eat a whole bowl of porridge, leaving none for golden-haired interlopers. My Mac is "Mummy Bear" sized you see, and does not light up. Bah.

Speaking of porridge....Honour is enjoying mastering the art of the wet raspberry blow....and spits so much she ends up with a soggy face.

Except now she's started to do it WHILE eating her porridge....muesli....veggies....in fact just about anything she is consuming. It's less like mealtime, and more like the entire veggie section at Tescos going through a car wash.

Nice.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Fast-moving teeth caught on camera by slow-moving mother

You'll never guess what this post is about....



No elephants were harmed in the making of this film

Yes despite our ISP's best efforts to thwart us with ten days of on/off internet and phone connections....(after logging about a million calls they finally realised they'd made changes to the exchange for our street which had messed us up good and proper!).....I have a post for you. A video no less.

It's a couple of minutes long...and features Honour giggling away. She is celebrating the good news about little Abigail Jones being soooo cute! (Major congrats to Alyn & AJ)

Click Here to watch the video

(for the uninitiated: you have to wait for it to download before it will work...wait a few mins while the grey bar wends its way across the screen and then click on the play arrow button. Sit back with your popcorn and enjoy!)

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Honour and Jordan

While Dave and Stuart are away in Jakarta....Lynley and Jordan have been down in Taupo for a few days. Jordan has to be the smiliest baby on the planet and draws crowds wherever she goes - what a cutie! She is so like Stuart it is adorable, but she definitely has a look of Lynley too, and her mother's wonderfully elegant hands and feet. Jordan likes to sway and wave her hands and fingers like the maori 'Harere Mai' ( I think that's how it's spelled) which means 'Welcome'. She and her truly beautiful, tender-hearted mother are welcome anytime.

Meanwhile Honour is a human dynamo and although she hasn't mastered crawling, has her own means of moving from A to Z - mostly by going backwards, rolling and pivoting. She seems to be trying to invent a backwards crawl...which starts a bit like that 'crab' manoeuvre from gymnastics...with her arching over backwards and pushing herself up. She gave me a shock the other day - in the time it took me to walk ten paces to the kitchen and back she had rolled and wiggled about 3 metres and was wedged up against a leg underneath the coffee table. I have started to move things she could pull over on top of herself, out of the lounge!!!

She has the most expressive face, with her favourite expression being a wild eyed look of surprise that shows pretty much all of the whites of her eyes. She is working on a new smile - I call it the 'sniffy' smile. This involves wrinking up her nose, sniffing and showing the tops of her gums. It is quite hilarious. She seems to be a morning person (unlike me) and wakes up full of beans; chortling her way up the stairs as I bring her up for her breakfast. Everything is funny at 6.30am, it seems. This is news to me.

Bathtime is also very funny - even if she has been a bit grumpy at dinner, she perks up as soon as she sees the bath. We read her the same bath book every day (Mimi's Toes) and Dave and I can now recite it off by heart. This could actually be the first sign of insanity. Honour has started joining in with the daily reading and when I start with those immortal opening lines: "The water's warm in Mimi's bath when Mama puts her in" she often starts chatting away as though she is reading it too. (Or perhaps she is just desperatley babbling to block out the sound of me reading the same story every flipping day of her life.)

Anyway, enough burbling....here are some photos. There is a video too of the two girls together...and if our temperamental internet connection will allow me..I will post it soon.







Monday, April 16, 2007

It's my birthday...and I'll eat cake if I want to

Or, ok, it was my birthday yesterday....April 15. Day the Titanic sank and Hitler was born. You think I'm kidding?

Thought that you would like a review of the momentous day (to my knowledge, no ships went down and no megalomaniac dictators were born). I will head these comments "Random things you may not want to know about my birthday"

"Random things you may not want to know about my birthday"

(you can't say I didn't warn you)


1) It was the third good hair day in a row. AND I'd just washed it.

Ask any woman how rare an event this is. In fact the day before, I was worried because I was having a premature good hair day. PREMATURE. Cos as every woman knows, in good hair/bad hair karma....one surely had to follow the other.

[Sidenote for the guys:
Basically how it works is the day you wash your hair is the bad hair day cos it's all fluffy and wild...and then the second day you have 'just enough' grease to kindof damp down the fluff and it all looks as it is supposed to. This is the point where it's tempting to risk leaving it without washing it for the third day...but this is the way to certain doom cos about the second after you decide to chance it and not wash on the third day, a gallon of grease mysteriously appears and forms an oil slick on your head.]

There. So now you know.

2) I received not one, but two Edward Monkton cards. I love Edward and want to have his badly drawn babies.

3) I received gifts guaranteed to bring joy to my heart....greeny-blue thingies and lacy thingies and spa vouchery thingies.

4) People, nice people, wrote nice things in nice cards. I like words. Words in cards. That say nice things. About me. Yes.

5) Lynley and Jordan were here.

6) I went out for coffee and cake. And by coffee I mean a latte the size of my head. And chocolate cake with raspberries and chocolate gloopy sauce.

7) Honour was a triumph in a purple cordoroy miniskirt with matching knickers, and matching purple turtle neck jumper. And she only puked on it a little bit.

Downsides were....Dave being away...phone line not working so missed calls....lots of you lovely folk not being here....

But all in all, a good day.

With not an iceberg in sight.

New Life Motto

(Courtesy of Edward Monkton - from one of his very interesting cards that will become your friends)

Let us be lovely
And let us be kind
Let us be silly and free
It won't make us famous
It won't make us rich
But darnit how HAPPY we'll be!

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Reasons why I'll never be a tooth fairy

1) I'll never be a tooth fairy because...I once spoke to the tooth fairy in anger.

When I was a wee mite I used to place my teeth under my pillow before I went to bed. Um, perhaps I should clarify that statement. I mean the tooth or teeth that had fallen out.....not ALL my teeth. I wasn't a 7 year old with dentures. Hey do you remember that weird feeling when your tooth was all wobbly and just hanging by a thread...and you could poke your tongue at it and wibble it around? I used to like that feeling, but perhaps that is just me. ANYWAY, I'm getting off track here.

Yes so, there was one occasion when, as was the custom, I placed my fallen-out tooth in a matchstick box and placed it under my pillow before I went to bed. This was because (as everyone knows) the tooth fairy will come in the night while you are asleep and take away the tooth and replace it with a gold doubloon. Or, ok, a 20p piece. I was very excited about this transaction. More for the fact that a fairy visited in the night, rather than the cold, hard cash.

But on this occasion, the tooth fairy did not come.
So I put the tooth under my pillow again the next night.
And the tooth fairy did not come.
So I did again.
No fairy in sight.

So now my 7 year old self turned with ire upon the previously much-loved tooth fairy. In high dudgeon I wrote a large note - in anger - to the tooth fairy and left it on my bed so that she would read it and weep when she finally got around to her duties.

The note read: Dear Tooth Fairy, You did not come. So I have thrown my tooth out of the window!

And I had indeed, done just that. That'll show the stupid tooth fairy for spurning me!

Well, the next morning (a defining moment in my life) I was amazed to find that the tooth fairy had indeed been to visit in the night and SHE HAD LEFT ME A NOTE. It was a tiny, tiny note in miniscule handwriting on a very small piece of paper slightly bigger than a postage stamp. And it read "Dear Adele, I am sorry for not collecting your tooth. Love, the tooth fairy". Beside it was a fifty - yes FIFTY pence piece.

This was just about the most exciting thing that had ever happened to me. I had a real live note from a fairy! And it was so small and cute. I felt incredibly special - the tooth fairy must have felt very bad indeed about neglecting me! Ah, I can still remember how it felt to receive that note from a fairy. So amazing.

It was of course quite a number of years before I realised that it was my mum who had taken the time to write the teeny tiny note.....but it didn't spoil it, because how cool was she to do that?

2) I will never be a tooth fairy because....I was caught giving a false impersonation of the tooth fairy.

My younger brother James was just the best younger brother when we were growing up, and not just because he would give me his sweets after I'd scoffed all mine. No, another good reason was that he would believe what I said. I told him I had a magic train under my bed that would take me away every night to Fairyland. And he believed me; checking under the bed all the time to see if he could see it. So cute.

But this only encouraged my leanings toward the fantastic and also the deception of my brother. So one night when he had just gone to bed but I was still allowed up for another half an hour cos I was older (ha!) I dressed up as the tooth fairy (in gauzy fabric and with a wand) and hovered about in the doorway of his room in order to convince him he was being visited by a real, live fairy. Perhaps one that had arrived on the train under my bed. Unfortunately I was so thrilled with my own cunning that I couldn't stop giggling. Hence my brother wasn't taken in for one instant. Bah.

3) I will never be a tooth fairy because...I didn't actually realise that Honour's first tooth had arrived

I knew one was on the way (the last three months of drooling and gnawing gave that away) and I'd even spotted it in the gum before it came through (once Sonia the loveliest midwife in the world pointed it out). Then I felt the top of it all pointy and tooth-like. But I didn't actually realise - ta-daaaah - it was HERE. I thought it had to be all sticking up and white and toothlike before you could, you know, make the big announcement...bake a cake, hire a band etc. So, er, BIG ANNOUNCEMENT - her first tooth arrived about a week ago on her half-birthday.

(sound of a damp squib).

4) I will never be a tooth fairy because...I had just emailed some lucky, lucky people about the fact that Honour had her first tooth...when I saw I'd somehow managed to miss the SECOND one right beside it.

So, er, yes she has TWO teeth. And more on the way if the bright, scarlet cheeks mean anything.

Anything other than the fact that it is SO embarrassing to have me as a mother, obviously.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

An open letter to Blogger

Dear Blogger

re. The Curious Incident of the Disappearing Photos in the Daytime and also in the Night-time.

I know what you are doing. Yes, fiendish Blogger operatives, I am onto your evil plan.

You are trying to drive me crazy by making photos appear on my computer, and even on my husband's computer...but yet causing then to disappear on every other computer in existence.

This is clever, I admit. And sinister.

Just as you intended me to, I started to doubt my sanity as comment after comment was logged saying that they could not see the photos. While I could clearly see the photos.

(Please note that I gain more comments when you can't see the content then when you can...this could be a possible future ploy on my part to get messages in my inbox) (see how your evil ploys are spreading?)

And I am not ignorant of the fact that you saved up this strategy for JUST the very moment I chose to do a PHOTO essay. Which by its very definition is rather dependent on the ACTUAL PHOTOS. As you know very well, Blogger.

So now there are 30 minutes of my life I'll never have back, which I spent re-uploading all the photos I could already see very well on my website.

All this because you are trying to suck me into trying every other photo saving web thingymabob in existence...you want to turn me into a Facebook, Picasa, U-Tube and, dare I speak its name- a MySpace addict!

And don't even pretend that you don't own all those over services. Because Donald Trump I know it is YOU behind all this - you want to own everything on the internet - and then cover it in gaudy GOLD.

(By the way, you couldn't make MySpace any more nasty if you tried).

So, Blogger (or should I call you DONALD?) I am onto you.

Better luck next time.

Fond Regards to the Quiff,

Adele Richards

Toy Story - a photo essay...this time with photos you can actually see

Some of Honour's friends dropped in for coffee yesterday...



While they were waiting for their drinks, a power struggle ensued over the improbable purple giraffe. Sophie and Honour went head to head..



Intimidated by Sophie's superior follicles...Honour moved in to tweak her nose.



Caleb tried to distract the girls from the power play by a manly display of bicep action:



Honour and Sophie were impressed with Caleb's press-ups; "He makes me go all weak at the knees," said Honour.

"That'll explain why you aren't crawling yet!" giggled Sophie (she was feeling quite weak in the knees herself about hunky Caleb).


"Ssssh" said Keira from across the room..."we can all hear you!"

Caleb smiled to himself, "I know, I'll impress them with my complicated engineering toy...that'll really seal the deal with the girls..."



Riley looked on from a distance, lost in his thoughts on his latest reading matter - Marcel Proust's philosophical work 'In search of lost time' - which he had been studying in the original French. Meanwhile, his mum was enjoying a slightly less challenging work - the Turtle Picture Book.



Keira was appalled to find that someone was trying to palm her off with the giant talking bear...when all she really wanted was the improbable purple giraffe.



"Use the power of your mind to summon the purple giraffe," her mother counselled her.



Just as Honour had finally managed to get her hands on the toy of choice...



...she received a startling telepathic message from Keira; offering a trade - the talking bear in return for the improbable giraffe.

Fortunately, at just that moment, the help (houseboy Dave) arrived with the coffee:



"That drink makes my mouth go funny," said Sophie:



"It tastes nice in a bottle," said Honour, "Almost as good as Starbucks!"



And it all ended happily ever after.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Toy Story - a photo essay

Some of Honour's friends dropped in for coffee yesterday...


While they were waiting for their drinks, a power struggle ensued over the improbable purple giraffe. Sophie and Honour went head to head..



Intimidated by Sophie's superior follicles...Honour moved in to tweak her nose.



Caleb tried to distract the girls from the power play by a manly display of bicep action:


Honour and Sophie were impressed with Caleb's press-ups; "He makes me go all weak at the knees," said Honour.
"That'll explain why you aren't crawling yet!" giggled Sophie (she was feeling quite weak in the knees herself about hunky Caleb).


"Ssssh" said Keira from across the room..."we can all hear you!"

Caleb smiled to himself, "I know, I'll impress them with my complicated engineering toy...that'll really seal the deal with the girls..."



Riley looked on from a distance, lost in his thoughts on his latest reading matter - Marcel Proust's philosophical work 'In search of lost time' - which he had been studying in the original French. Meanwhile, his mum was enjoying a slightly less challenging work - the Turtle Picture Book.



Keira was appalled to find that someone was trying to palm her off with the giant talking bear...when all she really wanted was the improbable purple giraffe.



"Use the power of your mind to summon the purple giraffe," her mother counselled her.



Just as Honour had finally managed to get her hands on the toy of choice...



she received a startling telepathic message from Keira; offering a trade - the talking bear in return for the improbable giraffe.

Fortunately, at just that moment, the help (houseboy Dave) arrived with the coffee:


"That drink makes my mouth go funny," said Sophie:


"It tastes nice in a bottle," said Honour, "Almost as good as Starbucks!"


And it all ended happily ever after.

Text your answers to 1 800 dont care

The winner of today's competition will receive a free steamlock veggie bag and a hair elastic.

Question: What is the glare at the bottom of this picture?



a) A glory cloud of seraphim and cherubim

b) A newly discovered, non-oil based power source; that the USA and China are fighting over in order to achieve world domination

c) Global warming

d) There is no glare - you need to get your eyes tested for glaucoma

e) Me not knowing how to take the flash off our new camera...while taking a picture of my new haircut in the bathroom mirror

Text your answers to 1 800 dont care

(voting not available to viewers outside the United States, or in fact outside of Milwaukee)