Randomaneous

Make Believe

2009-07-12T20:29:00.002+01:00

Acacia was tumbling and crawling and pulling herself up all over the lounge in the watchful care of her doting daddy so I snuck upstairs to wake Honour up from her lunchtime nap on my own.

She had already been awake for some time and was clearly extremely busy tending to a row of teddies and dolls that she'd lined up at the head of her cot.

"Waiting for doctor" she announced. "Waiting, waiting. Have wait for doctor."

(She's cottoned on to how the National Health Service works already).

She turned and tucked up her doll Cupcake under her cover.

With Acacia downstairs, I took advantage of some sweet one-on-one time with daughter numero uno. I hopped into the cot with her.

"Lie down, mummy, lie down."

I lay down next to Cupcake.

Honour tucked me in, being very careful to cover my bare toes.

"Baby is plorly (poorly)" she informed me of Cupcake's medical status. "Baby too hot. Baby born in ambulance. Too hot."

"Baby need cuddle. You give cuddle mummy."

I obliged, poor Cupcake was clearly in a bad way after her sudden birth in an ambulance...what with the being too hot and all.

Honour then took Cupcake back and cuddled her making clucking noises before announcing;

"Can't cuddle. Too heavy"

She turned to address the middle of her room. "Nurse, nurse! Baby ploorly, waiting for doctor." She held a one-sided conversation with the imaginary nurse for a few moments while I marvelled at the power of her make-believe.

She tucked Cupcake back under the covers next to me and planted a plethora of wet kisses directly on Cupcake's lips.

"Got nose-snot. Wipe Baby nose-sot. (nose-snot)"

She took her imaginary fissue (tissue) and blew Cupcake's nose for her while making fabulously realistic sound effects.

I started to giggle. She looked at me, giggling at the pretend nose-blowing, and widened her eyes.

She paused a heartbeat. A light went on: 'I'm making my mummy laugh.... I'm FUNNY!'

She giggled back. I giggled. She giggled some more.

There we sat, tucked up in her cot looking at each other nose to nose and giggling our heads off.

Now this is a side to motherhood that I could really get into. Beautifully removed from the practical sides of the job.

Imagination at the ready? Let's make-believe.

On awakening

2009-07-10T10:33:00.004+01:00

Ug. Friday.

My eyeballs have been stolen in the night and replaced with marbles. Marbles made of lead. Leaden marbles attached to my brain through my eye sockets by weighty anchors.

Acacia is grumbling in her cot. But when she sees me enter the room she immediately launches herself into full-on charm offensive. So much so that I check to see if a unicorn, floating on a rainbow, covered in marshmallows is directly behind me. No, it is just me. She grins and coos. Despite eyeballs, can't help but grin and coo back. Dang, this kid is good.

Honour is awake too and whining in her cot. When she sees me enter the room she launches herself into a full-on performance. Acacia thinks this is even more delightful than the sight of my grumpy face first thing in the morning. She giggles.

Meanwhile my Friday-morning-brain tries to interpret performance. Honour is pretending to be a cat? Or a baby? Or an aubergine? Now she's hiding under her blanket and mewing. Just as my brain registers this..."Good morning sweetheart....are you a cat?". She leaps up and launches into 'Where's Acacia? Acacia crying? Acacia laughing? Where is wind? Wind hurts my ear. Got wind in my ear. Ow my tummy. NO! NO! Leave blanket! Going to nurswery? Not hungry. Read a book? Want blanket off. WANT BLANKET OFF. Where's Daddy? Gone to wuuuurk?"

Not sure I have enough neurons to keep up with this conversation. I'm still lagging behind in the part about the wind in her ear...but she's moved on to which top she wants to wear to nurswery. Bite lip to prevent self snapping at her to 'please put your knickers on now'.

From somewhere deep beneath the layers of grump, my better self reminds me SHE is being utterly delightful and I am a grumpy old croc that should crawl back into bed, pull the covers over my head and go back to sleep until I can be as pleasant in the mornings as my children.

That should be sometime around 2012.

Reported Peach

2009-07-08T21:05:00.002+01:00

Here's a little peach of a reported speech between my mum and Honour:

Nanny Render: Honour, did you know that Acacia is nine months old already?

Honour: (indignantly) She not OLD, nanny. She a BABY.

Sidenote

(Is this wrong? Honour calls her Nanny Bender. Makes me laugh everytime.)

It's alright; the 9 month old is chewing on a knife while sticking her head in the oven

2009-07-07T16:23:00.002+01:00

Fortunately it's a plastic knife and a toy oven, so my neglect of the second-born in order to blog is not quite as child-protection-services-inducing as it sounds.

Hello.

(She's now sucking a teapot lid)

This is my multi-tasking, one eye on the child at all times (back to sucking knife), two-childed self. How the heck have you been?

(Still the knife, now the pointy end)

At the risk of alienating anyone whose precious bundle of preciousness is not sleeping like a baby ridiculous expression... Acacia has decided to give up tormenting me and sleep at night. And we only had 8 months of pretty much no sleep to get through before this happened!

(Saucepan lid)

[Sidenote to anyone who cares what made the difference: a) no idea b) loads of solids c) a dummy and d) a shift in the alignment of the planets e) I stopped wearing as much green ]

(faceplanting in small purple cup)

Anyway, lest you get the impression that parenthood is anything less than a fairy walk of constant joy and thrills with pixies throwing chocolate dust over you all day long, while you kickback and laugh uproariously en famille every few minutes....Acacia is an absolute delight and the smiliest of smiling girls. No, really, she is.

Oh and now I'm getting some sleep a few of my braincells have started to fire up in a way that freshly enables me to remember, uh, words and stuff. So, thought I'd start up the old blog again.

I'm still loving the Facebook...but occasionally need to indulge myself in sentences longer than a status.

Bearing in mind the utter domesticity of my lifestyle I wouldn't get too excited about it. Unless you enjoy hearing about how many bodily fluids I clear up on a daily basis.

Thinking of reviving ye olde blogge

2009-07-04T12:45:00.001+01:00

Just seeing if I can remember how this darntootin thing works...

Current Cravings

2008-04-14T01:58:00.003+01:00

(I wish one of them was currants...so I could write 'Currant Cravings'....but sadly my cravings do not match my love for cheesy wordplay. Mmmm cheese that reminds me...)

Cottage Cheese.

Do you know what Cottage Cheese is, North American friends? Does this strange lumpy, half-solid, half liquid gross white stuff exist in North America?

I know that most of the Europeans and NZers reading this (not that I wish to imply most Europeans read my blog, ha! Although, hmm, that would be rather cool. I'll work on that.)...are already retching just thinking about cottage cheese. If you need help achieving a full retch just read my previous post.....or read this totally GROSS new piece of information I discovered at the weekend:

DO NOT READ THIS NEXT BIT IF YOU ARE EASILY REVOLTED OR HAVE NO DESIRE TO HEAR ANOTHER STORY ABOUT BODILY FUNCTIONS:

Saturday morning discovery: A delicious Banana and Honey Milkshake made fresh from all natural ingredients and consumed on an empty stomach (must be empty) will taste EXACTLY the same going down and coming up...as long as it comes directly back up 30 seconds after going down and does not pass GO or collect $200. Interesting, non? Try it yourself kids...

OK, YOU CAN COME BACK IN THE ROOM NOW.

Yes, so back to the Cottage Cheese. Yum. I could eat potfuls for breakfast, lunch and dinner. It's also a handy snack.

I must be on some kind of dairy kick as I am also gazing longingly at yogurt again. (Then eating it, gazing won't fill the tummy, kids!)

(I don't know why I am referring to you as 'kids' today. But it's rather fun so I might keep it up, unless you object. But if you don't object to reading about cottage cheese and puke...you probably don't have a hair-trigger objection reflex to being call 'kids' either. )

Yeah, um, well that's about it. Except for FEIJOAS.

(I should include a link...but I'm too lazy so just google them)

My friend Ella brought a sack of them from her farm the other day. Let the FEIJOA FIESTA begin. I ate about 40. No, really about 40 in 2 days. MMMmmmm FEIJOAS. They are a tropical (?) fruit with this really cute cross shaped heart of smooshy, perfumed yumminess. When smooshed into a drink they look gross (like a glass of snot). But taste divine.

Can you get them in England? Could someone check out the Exotic Fruit section for me? Thanks. My prediction is that they will be the 'next big thing' in desserts in the UK. Um, unless they are already (we haven't lived there for 7 years...the Queen could live in a hot air balloon for all I know). Cos what is up with all the 'fresh fig' desserts going down in Europa?

I appeal to ALL MY EUROPEAN READERS (all 3 of you) what is up with the fresh figs?

Um, I think I need to go lie down now.

(Oh and sorry for the snot and puke references in this post. I shall try and do better next time.)

(How can I cram in a poop reference too?)

Her bedside manner

2008-04-09T23:46:00.002+01:00

14 weeks and counting. And I still lost my, uh, pre-breakfast breakfast first thing this morning. Sigh.

Still it was less complicated today because Honour was still safely in her cot.

Not so a few days ago. I had just scooped her out of her cot when...ug...ug...uh-oh...I have to get to my white, flushing friend pronto.

So I carried her with me into the bathroom. Now you have to know the layout of our house...but basically she can't be left unattended downstairs because of the stone staircase without the proper banister which she will try to scale with surprising speed. (But quite possibly then decide to fall down and land on her head on the cold, stone tiles.)

So....I had to hold her hand. While with the other hand I held back my hair (dear reader, I hope you've already finished your cornflakes) and embraced the white flushing friends, down on my knees in the time-honoured tradition. (no pun intended)

Well Honour's bedside/toilet-side manner took some twists and turns during this process.

At first she thought mummy 'laughing' into the toilet was very amusing. So she stood there holding my hand, watching with interest and giggling away.

Next she thought that mummy might need some hair patting...so she started to pat me on the head enthusiastically. Much as you would pat a dog.

(Meanwhile I am still going about 'my business'.)

But the piece de resistance was when she decided that perhaps we should draw this incident to a close.

And she closed the toilet seat.

On my head.

Now THAT, my friends, that is the way to start your morning.

With thanks to Harley for the metaphor

2008-04-01T08:44:00.002+01:00

Holy smokaroonies. Today was one of those days.

THOSE days.

When I describe it, it will sound inconsequential. In the bigger scheme of things it IS highly and almost entirely inconsequential.

Except that it goes to show that just when you think that your brain should turn into jelly and melt out of your ears....when by all rights you should spontaneously combust with sheer blank-minded exhaustion...that bizarrely you don't. And you somehow, somehow keep on going.

The not particulary dramatic items contributing to my near spontaneous combustion were:

1) a bilious session hugging my big white flushing friend, shortly followed by:

2) an hour long. HOUR LONG. tantrum from my darling cutie pie of a daughter whom I love and cherish with the fire of a thousand tigers. (what? tigers are fiery...give me a break).

Have you ever listened to crying/screaming from a wee child? Three minutes is enough to shatter most people's nerves. Ten minutes is an eternity. ONE HOUR and I felt like someone had wrung me out and hung me on a washing line by my eyelids. Except that sounds quite relaxing in comparison.

Now of course I am deeply empathetic for my daughter's frustration. Clearly I started the whole thing off by throwing the beach ball UP the stairs, when EVIDENTLY to all rational people the point was to throw it DOWN the stairs. A point that Honour made with instant (just add water) hysteria.

But it just didn't stop. To the point where I thought maybe she had mysteriously injured herself while I wasn't looking. Except that I had been looking the entire time. (A child exploding with grievous emotional injury from a 'beachball incident' is quite transfixing I can assure you).

I gave cuddles. I clucked. I cooed. I left her alone. I read her a story. I offered tasty treats. Water. Witty comments.

But no, all were spurned in favour of lying on the floor on her face and screaming.

In the end I bundled her in the car in the rain in a 'who-cares-about-the-rain- we-have-to-get-out-of-here-and-find-some-fresh-air-to-run-about-in, so-help-me-God-before-my-head-starts-rotating-on my-shoulders-and-I-start-screaming "Please-let-me-go-back-to-a-normal-job -with lower-stress-levels - like perhaps bomb disposal or negotiating with terrorists."

And this was the point at which I discovered my raincoat in the garage.

3) with a pool of warm, yellow cat urine nestled amongst its raincoaty folds.

Yes, it was WARM. I could tell this when I mopped it up. So Harley had just proffered his metaphor for my afternoon, just moments before.

Well said, Harley, well said.

Back in the saddle again

2008-03-28T07:23:00.003Z

Well hello, fancy meeting you in a place like this.

In the interests of parity I thought that I'd sneak back to the blog to record the progress of Baby Number 2.

Sorry? Oh yes. I see - hence the shocked look on your face.

You didn't notice I was getting a little thick around the waistline?

Didn't observe the gagging or the snacking or the snoozing or the fact that you haven't seen me after 8.30pm in the evening for the past 3 months?

Mmm, mmm I see your point - it's a little hard to notice these details via the Internet.

Ok, well let me catch you up.

Honour - the human dynamo - is now 18 months old...and due to have a little brother or sister arrive in approximately 6 months time.

(6 months? 6 months is not long - breathes in and out of paper bag)

We had the 12 week scan on Thursday and saw the babe dancing about waving his jazz hands. Babe has a lovely nose, a pair of very cute feet and a pretty snazzy bladder. Oh and all the other bits as well.

Twas very exciting that babe really, really exists. Despite the wee on the stick test (aka pregnancy test) and the symptoms (OH the symptoms)...it's just somehow so hard to believe there is really a teeny tiny human being growing inside you. Or maybe that's just one of my own peccadillos.

Speaking of symptoms. I bring good news of great joy to all first time pregnant puke-a-thoners. Last time I was sick as the proverbial dog and the proverbial parrot. A sick dog married to a sick parrot; having sick dogots or parrogs. Groo. Could not eat. Sugar was gack, gack, gack - the taste of death. Pukathon was constant.

This time, I have been able to eat. In fact I have to eat. Eat. Eat. Eat. So much eating. This baby must be running a marathon or growing wings or something cos it is burning about a gazillion calories a day.

I drink fruit juice all day long. I eat ice cream (note: I don't like ice cream). I can eat winegums by the handful without feeling sick (which I can never do when not pregnant). Pasta, potates...mmm...potatoes...it's carb city Arizona over at our place.

Sadly this only barely keeps the nausea at bag. Yeuch, nausea. Gagging, yeuch. Feeling like I am ingesting poison while digesting every meal. Not being able to sleep cos of the digesting poison...and then not being able to sleep cos the poison is ingested and I need to get up and eat something so I don't feel nauseous again. Most nights I've drunk about a litre of milk at 2am in the morning. Aaah it's like having a newborn already!

Anyway, despite this sob story. It's still WAY. WAY better than last time. And having reached the 12 week mark it's getting a bit better.

The thing is that despite blathering on about me, me me; this time it's not all about me being pregnant anyway. (Though I am - keep up!). Last time I was so excited to.be.pregnant. But this time it's the baby. There's a baby. A baby that we are going to love as much as we love Honour.

A person with whom we are going to fall in love.

That's what's exciting.

So, hello gorgeous child. Can't wait to meet you.

Updating profile photo

2008-03-28T07:01:00.002Z

Watch out if she comes at you with a biro...

2007-10-30T08:30:00.000Z

Honour is in training as the next Jason Bourne.

Baby Bourne.

1) She is constantly observing her surroundings. Every time a plane flies over the house she looks up. And waves. (But is she waving hello, or goodbye?...hmmmm)

2) She is practising sign language for covert situations in which one needs to communicate silently with another operative. When she is fed up of being wherever she is (cafe, shop, park) she waves. This is her sign of 'Goodbye I want to go now'. Yesterday in the park she walked over to my car and started waving. This was my cue to take her home for tea.

3) At Woolworths (the supermarket) she created a weapon out of biscuits. She pulled an entire display of about 30 packets of Afghan biscuits onto the floor in a dramatic cascade. Fortunately everyone walked away from the scene alive. This time.

4) Yesterday she was 'playing' with Harley our cat at home - except she had poked both her fingers into Harley's eye sockets and was trying to pull his eyeballs out.

Yes, she is the Jason Bourne of toddlers...watch out if she lunges at you with a biro.

Oh and there are loads of photos here

Jiggidyjig jig jig jig

2007-10-21T08:32:00.000+01:00

Wanna see Honour getting her groove on with a little excited jig....followed by her Herman Munster impression?

It's only 30 seconds long...

Aw go on, you know you wanna!

xxx

Getting Jiggy With It (well sort of)

Walking Wideo

2007-10-19T03:52:00.000+01:00

Ok, it's just a walking video. But walking wideo sounded more fun.

Although come to think of it, it's not a video that walks.

It's a video clip of Honour walking.

Sigh.

I made hard work of that didn't I?

Walkies!

Slowly regaining will to live. I mean, blog. Ah who am I kidding? Same thing.

2007-10-14T03:46:00.000+01:00

Um, hello? Anybody still here? I know the lights on this blog have been turned off for a really long time and the curtains drawn. (Actually the lights are on they're just those really environmentally friendly low watt thingies that are about as bright as a Big Brother contestant.) But perhaps you've managed to survive the wilderness of no-posts by gnawing on the scrap of an old photo or two?

Anyway, I'm back. Much as I am addicted to Facebook (and believe me, I am addicted. In fact some well-meaning friends are probably arranging an Intervention as I type)....it's still not quite the same as the good old Blog where you get to ramble on and on about your boring life for no apparent reason. And no-one will even throw a sheep at you.

Sooooo....what up dude?

Can't be bothered to write an enormous entry so here are some - er, highlights? - of the last few months:

1) Survived 48 hours on a plane with small child. And Honour.

2) Survived Honour's on/off relationship (mostly on) with cold viruses. (She's had 4 colds in the last 2 months = no sleep for me, or her for that matter)

3) Her first molar that has caused- and I kid you not - 12 solid weeks of teething, is out and proud people. She is actually happy again. I'd forgotten what that was like. And please could I just say to those people whose children teethe about 3 days and then pop out a tooth: I'm so pleased for you. (grinds her own teeth)

4) Honour is walking! Well multiple, multiple bandy-legged drunken steps at a time. She is very pleased with herself! Sooooo cute.

5) Honour's first birthday party was a success despite the fact that I nearly exhausted myself by staying up late several nights making sheep shaped cookies and a birthday cake. Oh and the most pleasing thing about the party....the fact that when people asked me "How did Honour's party go?". I could respond; "Oh it was great. A lamb jumped in the swimming pool."

6) A lamb jumped in the swimming pool at the Eden Centre during the party. My friend Ella brought 2 lambs to the party as the theme was 'sheep'. At one point I saw a photo opportunity and suggested we put them in a wheelbarrow with babies....and voila cuteness! However while we were messing about with the wheelbarrow one of the few-days-old lambs tottered over to the edge of the pool, and jumped in. Fortunately it jumped into a shallow part and we fished it out pronto.

7) I'm back in the story business again. Ok, I'm writing some stories...we'll see whether the 'business' aspect of it works out. Yep, with help from the lovely Will & Erica Sze who designed and built the website for me I have launched a new site. I'm aiming to get fresh stories up there on a regular basis. It's proving to be a lot of fun so far (for me, anyway!). I'm sure I've already bombarded you with emails about it, but just in case you managed to elude my crazed marketing antics, go check it out:
Telling Tales
That's all folks.....

It's good to be back!

Help! Losing the will to blog.

2007-09-19T09:17:00.000+01:00

Um, seriously. I think this could be it for me and the blog.

Anyone bothered?

Sweet Coz

2007-08-11T09:52:00.001+01:00

Oh the dresses!

2007-08-05T10:49:00.001+01:00

Honour's First Trip to the Beach

2007-08-03T20:07:00.001+01:00

You can stop holding your breath now!

2007-08-03T11:15:00.000+01:00

Well, we are here and we survived! For those who are interested in the tedious details read on! For those of you who need a cure for insomnia....read on!

The Taupo to Auckland flight was the first test case to see if Honour's ears would cope with the changes in air pressure and fortunately all went well with that. No screaming. Only from me when she puked all over my trousers....the only item of clothing for both of us that I didn't have spares for. Smelling of baby puke for the next 24 hours....nice! Anyway, that was all well and good. They took our stroller off us at Auckland airport which was a bummer as we were planning for H to nap in it until we boarded the plane to HK at 11.30pm. Still, she was so hyper that she kept bouncing around up until 11.30pm anyway. That meant that she hadn't had a sleep since 4pm. Hmmmmm.

The good news was that we got upgraded to Business (cooo-eeee) and the bad news was that just as we were boarding and walking past all the posh people in business, H decided now was a good time to meltdown. Well she had been up for 7.5hours straight!!! That was a tad awkward but after some frenzied jigging on my part (jigging her...not just irish dancing around the cabin - although that might have been a good distraction for all the passengers who'd paid $8,000 for their tickets and now had a screaming baby on board!)....she finally fell asleep before we even took off.

The joy of business on Air NZ is that they have flat beds. FLAT BEDS. Oh it was amazing! So I laid Honour down on her FLAT BED and ate some very swanky soup (full of swank...mmmm, tasty) and then crawled onto the bed and snuggled up next to her. She slept through to 7am! Fantastic.

I had about 5 hours sleep and so arrived in HK feeling a whole lot more perky than I thought I would. Although the humidity bowled up to me like a large, enthusiastic dog and nearly knocked me flat on my back. Winter in Taupo to Hong Kong.....quite a freaky transition.

The hotel was near the airport and despite Dave's best negotiating, blackmail, begging and startling offer to reveal his biceps - the hotel didn't want to give us a suite for free. Strange that. So we had the old fun of sharing a room with Honour and not being able to do anything while she slept. Dave went and sat by the pool while I stayed in the aircon. You'll be pleased to hear that he lost his NZ pallour in about 3.5minutes. He was feeling quite chuffed with himself as he seemed to be attracting quite a lot of second glances as he sat by the pool. "It must be my buff physique" he thought to himself. Later he realised the true cause. He had forgotten to remove the two band aids that he had stuck over his nipples. (He wears them when he goes running because otherwise when his shirt gets soaked wet with swear they get chafed!!!)

Honour was quite the celebrity in HK where the locals seemed to think she was very entertaining, even when she kept blowing raspberries at them, looking at them and laughing. She has also developed an amusing limp-wristed wave which she practised on the very metrosexual air stewards on the plane.

Anyway, she slept pretty well the first night in HK and we just about got onto HK time which is 4hours behind NZ...so a small move in the right direction. The second night she woke up every hour...we had to get up at 5am to get to the airport...and we were awake for the next 24 hours!!!!

Thirteen hours during the daytime on a plane with the busy baby....who is continuously teething by the way and now has 6 teeth with 1 more still trying to break through...is a BIT of a nightmare. My goal was to be able to watch one movie in that time. And I did do that, but in 2 sittings. Honour slept for 1.5 hours out of the 13!!!!Unbelievable. Unlike our friend's baby, the divine Rory, who didn't fill her nappy on the way to the UK at all, Honour had 7 nappy changes during the flight and 5 were of the solid variety. I was up and down to the loos like an incontinent fool!

Anyway, we survived, and drove down to Bournemouth to meet the grandparents again. H had been a social bunny ALL DAY. But decided meeting rellies was a bit much and decided to meltdown! We put her straight to bed at around 7pm UK time and she slept through to 3am and then till 5am with some encouragement. Pretty good.

Since then she has been a bit out of sorts, teething like mad on top of not knowing where the heck she is and meeting loads of new people.

She is fighting her second nap of the day EVERY TIME but is sleeping well for her first and going through from 6.30pm till 5.30am....which is pretty darn good.

Of course, we are going to create carnage this weekend when we move her to Bath for a couple of days to see the divine Dalleys.

You'll be delighted to hear that as soon as we arrived in the country the sun came out....and it's been gorgeous so far. H has been given about a million summer dresses so I am changing her every 30mins to get them all in!!!

So thank you for your prayers and good thoughts - they definitely worked!

The Best Laid Plans

2007-07-27T01:10:00.000+01:00

It seems to be the week for precedents.

In a totally unprecedented move I was packed, totally packed, including hand luggage....by 9pm on Wednesday. That is nearly 48hours ahead of getting on a plane. As a committed procrastinator and last-minute-bunger-of-stuff-in-bags this was a bit of a shock to the system.

The only problem with being so freakishly organised (I have created an hour by hour spreadsheet of our travels allocating food, nappies, milk and clothes changes at relevant intervals)...is that it leaves you 48hours in which to think of other things that might be useful to add in.

Hence I have changed my mind three times about which pyjamas to put Honour in (cool ones - planes are overheated when you get on them....no, no, the warm ones because they get really cold in-flight.....no, no, the cool ones because we are going into summer in the Uk....etc etc).

Overthinking things? Moi. Just a tad.

Anyway, today is D-Day. So, clearly, things are going to start going a bit weird. Honour just refused to go down for her nap. REFUSED. This is the first time this has ever happened - she has never refused her morning nap before. NEV-UR.

So my minute-by-control freak-minute plan went out la fenetre! It was 11am and I wasn't even dressed!

I think she is cutting a tooth at the moment and it is driving her beserk. Sigh. Any chance it will break through the gum before we get on the plane???

And just because I am so bizarrely prepared ('ha ha' says the Universe) having cleaned out the entire house already this week, I have even updated my mac website with some photos of Honour. Go to Photos 7 - In Da Hood.

Speak to you "from the other side".

When the thing that you've been trying to avoid at all costs, is the very thing that happens

2007-07-22T22:17:00.000+01:00

Hello.

For those of you who've been buried at the bottom of the sea (with Davy Jones, his locker, and those weird transparent globular creatures with lightbulbs dangling off their foreheads) for the past few months, let me just remind you that we are flying to the UK in FIVE DAYS TIME.

(Can you hear the panic, people?)

Actually, come to think of it, I don't know if I've even mentioned it very much on the blog - but perhaps we have become like an old married couple. You know, where I think I've told you about it because it's been my preoccupation of every waking moment for the last 5 months...but actually I haven't. So, um (shuffle feet, awkward ear tugs) yeah, we are flying to the UK in FIVE DAYS.

And for those of you who really are lurking at the bottom of the ocean waiting for some huge whale carcass to float down so you can feed on its remains (hey, this isn't really a flattering image is it?) let me just remind you that we live in New Zealand. Which is like a billion miles from everywhere. YES. A billion. Don't argue with me.

Ok, before I get any more passive aggressive on you (for no good reason) let me move on from the ocean imagery. (You can blame David Attenborough and 'Planet Earth' for that).

So yes, the thing that you REALLY want to avoid when about to spend 24hours on a plane with a ten month old....is blocked ears. Hence when we flew down to Wellington (a piddling hour long flight) we were dosing her up with decongestants like they were going out of fashion. (Which by the way, they seriously ARE. I mean, when was the last time you saw Heidi Klum use Vicks Vaporub? Actually, don't answer that.)

So, um, on Monday last week when Honour turned scarlet I took her to the doctors. And yes, you guessed it, she has an ear infection. No, I lie. Two ear infections (one in each ear, keep up!). Two REALLY bad ear infections resulting in a temperature of 38.9. Which is .1 off brain boiling. Antibiotics were prescribed and a check up in 6 weeks by which time her ears should have cleared.

I pointed out that we were flying in, um, 2 weeks time and asked, ahem, would her ears be ok by then. That's when the doc started giving me a peptalk about her eardrums exploding on the plane. About how it would be GOOD if they burst because all the mucus and blood and stuff would come out and she would feel better. Yahuh. Better AFTER her EARDRUMS EXPLODED ON A PLANE.

Anyway, after a minor freak-out, I have decided this is NOT going to happen. And since I have DECIDED. That is what will be. Amen.

So, to cut a long story short... she is fine! The antibiotics have all been guzzled down. Her temp is fine and she seems fine and dandy in herself. In theory her ears still have fluid in them which in theory could hurt when the plane goes up and down. But I have DECIDED that she is going to be fine. Ok?

Also, I will have lots of painkiller on board with me.

Meanwhile in exciting mucusoid news....my 2 week old cold is still fighting fit, my ear is bunged up too and the pressure in my head was so intense my eyeball went bloodshot! Excellent. Then I got a 24 hour stomach flu with attendant fever and shakes. Then Dave got it. Whoopeee doodee.

The good thing is that all this is happening now before we get on the plane. Hopefully we'll all be fit and well by Friday.

Oh, and Honour started to crawl for real on Saturday! Very cute.

(Also just in time to be strapped to a seat for 13 hours at a time on a plane.)

(Did I mention the planes?)

(THE PLANES!)

I'm so excited

2007-07-10T11:29:00.001+01:00

Well, actually it's Honour who is very excited - at Daddy coming home!

Two new videos for your perusal.

Let's hope she takes after her father in this department

2007-07-07T21:51:00.000+01:00

It's come time to confess.

I've toyed with the idea of letting the cat out of the bag about this, many times before. But somehow lost my nerve.

But now, I can't carry the secret any more - it's too heavy.

It's.....it's.....(gulp)...it's that I've been wantonly inflicting my musical taste on my wee, defenceless, earmuff-less daughter.

Now when I say 'taste' I could be stretching a point, well according to Dave 'you just changed key mid-song' Richards anyway.

(Of course my full name is Adele 'yeah, well what IS a key, anyway?' Richards.)

Now one of the main issues (according to Dave "Smirk, you've just changed key three times" Richards) is my quite outstanding ability to listen to the same album, over and over again.

For an example, when I bought my car in November 2005 I placed several CDs in the CD player.

(Well, actually I didn't know I had a CD player till my parents visited in February 06 and my Dad found it under my front passenger seat. So I guess it wasn't until Feb 06 that I put my Cds in there.)

The CDs were a fine choice I think you will agree - Coldplay (excellent start), James Blunt (not bad) and, um, The Footie Anthems Album.

In its defence, The Footie Anthems Album has one of the best songs known to man on it - 'Vindaloo' with classic lyrics like:

'May I introduce you please, to a lump of Cheddar Cheese, knit one, perl one'
'Me and me mum and me dad and me gran are off to Waterloo, me and me mum and me dad and me gran with a bucket of Vindaloo"

Anyway, Alyn & AJ came to visit us in March 06 and were transported about in my car to these aural delights.

They came again in November 06 (that's 8 months later) and the same albums were in my car.

THAT's how long I can listen to the same albums over and over again.

So, as this should be a full confession, I think I should now list the main musical influences that I have subjected Honour to, both in utero and ex utero.

1) Coldplay (X and Y and A Rush of Blood to the Head - over and over and over and over and over and over....)

2) Bruce Springsteen (BOOORRRNNNNN in the USA, I was BOOOOORRRNNN in the USA)

3) Footie Anthems (We're going to score one more than youuuuuu)

4) Laura Woodley (I need a hug on the inside)

5) The Black Eyed Peas (my humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps)

6) Russell Watson (AMore MUUUSSSica)

7) Apostolic Prayers (harp and bowl)

8) Gwen Stefani (hoo-hoooo, hooo, hooooo)

9) Maroon 5 (and it really makes me wonder)

10) Baby Einstein - Mozart (twinkle, twinkle, twiddly, twiddly)

'Eclectic' doesn't even begin to describe this train wreck of a selection, I know, I know.

In my defence, her main influence has been Coldplay.....AND I didn't get out my Spice Girls album.

You may now ascribe my punishment, report me to child services, suggest an alternative list of influences, or just lie down on the floor and weep.

(I won't notice, I'll be leaping around the lounge to Don't Phunk with my Heart)

Because what Cathy wants, Cathy gets.

2007-07-05T21:29:00.000+01:00

And let that be a lesson to you, children.

The great and the beautiful Chatty Harris requested video, and video she shall have.

This time the epics feature:

1) Honour eating raisins

and

2) Honour sitting herself up...and blowing raspberries.

Bet you can hardly wait.....

I worship the ground she doesn't walk on

2007-07-03T21:51:00.000+01:00

Before I had Honour I had basically no clue about babies or children. I was the dimwit who would look at a baby and cooo, "How old?" thinking to myself - 'she's about 6 months old'.

Then the reply would come: "She's 6, goes to school and bakes better gingerbread than you, you child-ignorant freak"

Clueless. Sans clue. Couldn't BUY a clue.

It's therefore somewhat weird to discover that I have become a new breed of freakoid who looks at a 6 month old baby and is AMAZED to see that child use a pincer grip to pick up a raisin. Or, "Wow," I'll gasp, "he LOOKS TO SEE where dropped toys have gone! That's incredible!"

Aaah, the tiny, tiny things that become truly fascinating. And of course when it's YOUR child, it's even more exciting when they do something new. And let me clarify that for you, when I say exciting I'm talking: 'Einstein discovering the theory of relativity' exciting, 'Newton-the apple-and-gravity' exciting, 'that bloke in the bath and Eureka' exciting.

I think the freaky thing is that you spend, what?, about 12 hours a day constantly in the company of this wee person and they do the same things over and over again....drooling, rolling about, giggling, trying to sit up. (I'm talking about Honour, not Dave - just to clarify)

And then one day, with no warning they stand up, dress themselves, and fix themselves an espresso.

Or, in Honour's case just suddenly works out how to get herself into the sitting position from any other. Previously she could sit up if I sat her up, but once she rolled over onto her front or back she couldn't get back up again. Hence I would spend a lot of my day responding to her whingeing and sitting her back up again.

But yesterday morning she worked out how to push herself up. Within seconds she was pivoting all over the room and pushing herself back up to sitting, pivoting, rolling, commando crawling then bouncing back up again. It was truly amazing the speed with which she had entirely changed the way she moves.

And then (lest the excitement kill you) she pulled herself up on the edge of the lounge chair. With no help she pulled herself up and stood there - looking as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

My baby, who only seconds ago (it seems) could hardly hold her head up herself...just stood up.

And that's why I'm going to purchase a unicycle and leave it casually lying around.

Cos you never know, one day she might just hop up on it and do a turn around the room.

What? It could happen.

I really should get out more...

2007-06-30T21:20:00.001+01:00

Like, more than three times in the last 9 months. Three. That's the number of times Dave and I have left the house together in the evening in the last 9 months. Woooo! Are we wild, or what?

Last night was a pretty exciting one because it was our first movie-going experience in about 11 months! We galvanised ourselves into action and begged, borrowed and stole some babysitters in order to go to Ocean's 13.

Considering the 'huge pile of pants' that was Oceans 12, it was a bit of a gamble.

Plus I was a little overwhelmed when arriving at Taupo Cinema so see a massive crowd of people - about 40. FORTY.

We were a bit concerned we might actually have people, you know, sitting in front of us (the horror!) So I tried to rush the young ticket-taker girl in order to grab good seats. Sadly, she hadn't pulled the cardboard tab that said 'Open' for Oceans 13, and she turned me back. All 90 pounds of her.

When eventually we were directed into cinema 4, we were relieved to find that only about 20 of us were watching Oceans 13. Phew! A narrow escape there. We sat 6 rows in from the back. And we didn't have anyone sitting in front of us!

As you probably all know as you saw it about 8 gazillion years ago, Oceans 13 is excellent - lots of funny moments and back to the original heist format. (Without Julia Roberts pretending to be Julia Roberts pretending to be Julia Roberts actually being Julia Roberts. Tsk.)

On another note, the other week I finally got to see Little Miss Sunshine on DVD.

Oh. How. Good.

Loved it.

Seems like anything with Toni Collette in, is really good.

So, any other good film recommendations for me from those of you who are still connected to the real world?

Apparently, according to my friend Erica, I'd like 'Stranger than Fiction'. What do you think?

Alyn Jones Day - 28 June

2007-06-27T22:12:00.000+01:00

It's Alyn Jones Day here in the heady metropolis of Taupo.

No, he isn't one of the top three finalists in American Idol, and yet there is an absolute frenzy of Alynomania in town.

We are just so excited to be one of the very first places in the world to be able to celebrate the birthday of the mighty man.

The streets are thronging with people. Ok, mostly sheep. But the sheep have been dyed in Alyn's colours (pink).

There are lots of little old ladies sporting pink woolly scarves with the word Alyn knitted into them. (Enid and Eunice are particularly excitable this morning - I think they may have had a nip of brandy with their cornflakes).

Everyone is out on the streets waiting for the Alyn Parade to begin. The theme this year is "Things Alyn likes".

I am on the Alias float. I wanted to be Sydney in a bright red wig and lycra spacesuit, but instead I got to be computer whizz Marshall Flinkman. Still, it's all for the kids, right? I mean, for Alyn.

Other floats include the Mac float (the kids on that one will be throwing apples into the crowd. Not Apple computers, just apples).

My favourite float is the Encourager float - which is all big and pink and fluffy and gives you a big hug as it passes.

After the Alyn Parade is over the whole town will be meeting in the park for a massive photo shoot. We're all going to dress in pink and lie down on a huge white sheet, head to head.

In honour of Alyn Jones Day there are a few by-laws that are applicable on 28th June every year:

1) On no account should any person go to look at bubbling mud pools
2) A lot of sugar must be consumed by every person - the more chocolate, the better
3) PC usage is banned today.
4) Every person who has ever spoken badly of a Mac has to wear a Dunce hat all day (sun up to sun down)
5) The word Microsoft may not be used, even as a swear word (which of course is exactly what it is)
6) Every person must start a Blog and leave comments on other blogs. You may Twitter if you wish.
7) Lots of excellent food must be consumed today from the menu of: steak, meat, steak, more steak, lamb, steak. Also, meat may be consumed.

It is also Hug A Techie Day in recognition of all the selfless work the techies give to us mere mortals the other 364 days of the year.

There is a seminar at the Lake Centre at 3.30pm this afternoon, entitled "The Secret" or "International Flights - and how to survive them The Alyn Jones Way"

This will be followed by the finale of the day's celebrations, starting at 7.30pm, also at the Lake Centre. The evening has been called "Storge - The Gift of being a Big Snuggle Monkey like Alyn Jones". A lot of cuddling will end the event, followed by fireworks over the lake and free mugs of hot chocolate stuffed with marshmellows for all.

Everyone is Taupo is in a fever pitch of excitement, as you can imagine.

Our dream is that one day, Mr Alyn Jones and his delectable girls will actually be here for the festival.

Although I'm not sure Enid and Eunice would survive the excitement. Not without a lot more brandy.

Happy Birthday Mr Jones!

Just one reason I heart the man

2007-06-26T22:07:00.000+01:00

On our recent trip to Wellington, we took the liberty of booking ourselves into a very swanky hotel.

A swanky hotel with white fluffy bathrobes in the wardrobe, plus hotel-insignia-embossed slippers. A swanky hotel with a pool and spa and sauna. You can don your swanky fluffy robe en route to the swanky pool n spa n sauna combo. Nice.

One evening Dave steps into the swanky, carpeted-up-the-walls elevator and sees four people in there. Three of whom are dressed up to the nines in evening wear. One of whom is wearing a hotel bathrobe.

Dave smiles and asks, "Are you four going out to dinner?"

Both provincial and pretentious

2007-06-25T03:05:00.000+01:00

This weekend we packed up our entire lives and flew down to Wellington for a few days of frolicking about in a new place. Our ulterior motive of course was to find out how H managed on a plane trip and sleeping in foreign locales. (Our trip to the UK is in 4.5 weeks and counting!)

Not that a 50min flight to Welly EXACTLY prepares you for a 24hour flight to the UK.

The plane flying out from Taupo was roughly the size of my left shoe. And it was a windy day. And the plane (the shoe-sized plane) was springing about in the sky in a rather excitable fashion. Plus the shoe was making the most outrageous amount of noise. A sort of thundering buzzing that made your eardrums start picketing to be allowed out of your body, and instead travel buried in the deep velvet lining of a small, sound-resistant box.

I felt sick. Eyeing up the sick bag kind of sick.

Honour? She fell asleep.

Marvellous.

On our second flight (yes we were detoured!!!) the plane was bigger - a sort of large shoe or perhaps skiboot size - thank goodness. H was her normal self - aka The Busiest Baby in the Entire World and I Am Not Even Exaggerating.

I had my usual bag of tricks -(notes in brackets are the length of time for which she was skillfully distracted by my bag of tricks)

sucking on the rice crackers (1minute 30 seconds)

sucking on the spatula (2 minutes)

sucking on the elephant (not actual) (34 seconds)

rattling...and sucking the plastic container with spoon inside (3 minutes)

pulling my hair (2 minutes)

stroking my coat (15 seconds)

trying to pull my earring out ( 3 seconds before I stopped her)

sucking on bits of tangerine (2 minutes)

trying to stroke my coat with tangerine-embossed fingers (3 seconds before I stopped her)

That was eleven minutes down.

At this point I started to think about having her on a plane for 13 hours to Hong Kong.

THIRTEEN.

You know that bit in the bible where it says something like 'And if all the things Jesus had done were written down in books there wouldn't be enough room in the world to store them'?

Well "If I carried all the items needed to distract Honour on a 13 hour flight there would not be enough room in the plane to store them".

After my magical bag of tricks was sucked upon and discarded. She lunged wildly for the magazines, the seatbelt, my coat, my ear. etc etc. In fact the non-stop wild lunging is pretty much a 24/7 activity, partially interrupted by sleep.

At this point she discovered that it was fun to play with her tongue. She started to experiment making all sorts of weird shapes with it. Her favourite was to make it all big and fat and then poke it out of her mouth. Then she lunged over my shoulder to look at the people behind us. Then she stuck her tongue out at them. About 15 times in a row.

I mean maybe we are just hard up for entertainment these days, but it was the most hysterical thing ever. (Since I put two legs in one leg of her jeans).

Sadly nobody was looking at her, except us. Or perhaps, fortunately, as it looked extremely offensive and deliberate. Hee, so that was fun.

Anyway we eventually arrived in Wellington - which we all know is the capital of NZ, right? And the 3 sherpas that we brought with us to carry the luggage moved us into our hotel room. Then we bundled her up in her snowsuit, into the stroller and off around Wellington for a mosey around.

This is where I started to get freaked out. Bear in mind I haven't been anywhere except Taupo (small) and Rotorua (bit less small but still small) for over 10 months. TEN.

And now I am in a CITY. With people. And buses. And lots of shops. And noise. And people walking past you on the street and not smiling. NOT SMILING. Oh the people! And the not smiling!

I was totally freaked out.

A) by the people and the buses and the noise (I think we covered that )

but

B) by how freaked out I was by A)

I mean, people, I used to live in Toronto...and now I want to run and hide under a table when a bus squeals its brakes next to me?

How provincial have I become exactly?????

But then I saw Borders. Borders the bookshop. A bookshop unlike those in Taupo. The main difference? It has books. Actual books. More then 11.

And I saw Esprit. With Clothes. Unfailingly fabulous clothes.

And I started to come right.

I'm going to have to cut this short cos the wee Munchie has just awoken and is making subtle indications that she might like my full and undivided attention.

So, yes the next day I scampered off for a few hours of alone-time and went to Esprit and bought the most divine green top with silky green oversized hood. (Sidenote: it was in the sale, and I apologise for this. I usually like to buy things full-price. You know with that 'I can spot the most expensive item in the entire store without looking at the price tag' radar that many women have. I felt that I'd let the side down by buying something that could be called a 'bargain'. I'll try better next time.)

Then I went to BORDERS. Oh heaven. Oh delight. BOOKS. By you know, people. People other than Maeve Binchy and Agatha Christie.

And then that's when I happened upon Kurt Vonnegut.

(This is the pretentious part).

HELLO? Why did nobody tell me about Kurt?

Where have I been all my life that I have never read any of Kurty boy's books?

(Ok the fact that I don't know how to pronounce his surname always put me off reading him before. It seems a little rude to read a book by a person when you don't know how to say their name)

I bought 'Cat's Cradle'. And it is SOOOOOOOOOOO good. It is funny. And weird. SO weird. But funny weird. And deeply meaningful weird. And genuinely clever but not over doing it weird.

The truth be told, I am a little in love with Kurt. Although seeing as he died recently it is a little late to love him AND want to have his babies. Just as well, I still don't know how to pronounce his surname. And you should really be able to do that if you are having that person's babies.

Anyway, pretentious bla bla - there you go.

Provincial and pretentious. It's the new me.

Why I won't win Mother of the Year

2007-06-19T23:18:00.000+01:00

Honour has been a bit out of sorts the last few days so I am caught in the eternal opposite-of-a-lovetriangle between the usual culprits: Cold, Teething, Indigestion.

I keep changing my mind as to the diagnosis, but yesterday she definitely had a runny nose and was all screamy and upset. Quite a few of my friends' babies have colds at the moment and Maya's Caleb has got the dreaded ear infection which has caused him to lose his balance a few times. My goal is to avoid the ear infection stage at all costs....and so I am on high alert for it. This involves a lot of checking if one of Honour's ears is redder than the other....and tweaking them to feel if they are hot or not. (Have no idea if this even helps diagnose an ear infection....I think in truth when they grab it and scream blue murder that is your first clue!)

Anyway, after I got her up from her afternoon nap yesterday she was all screamy and miserable and her nose was running. Trying to change her nappy was like wrestling an unhappy octopus and took several attempts. Then I had to try and get her jeans back on her - a tricky task at the best of times as I get one leg in and she gets it out while I am getting the second leg in and so we start all over. This goes on for a few hours. No, ok, minutes. But yesterday I finally managed to get her nappy changed, jeans back on....and then I headed upstairs to see if a drink and a snack would cheer her up. Or would this in fact be a symptom of the dreaded ear infection???

So I sat her up on her playmat where normally she will stay upright quite happily. But she kept falling over. She just crashed to the side. I sat her up again. She crashed to the front. 'Uh-oh' I thought, here we go - she's lost her balance, she must have an ear infection. Stillm ploughing on with the feed her and water policy thinking that this might right all, I gave her a drink and was feeding her bits of mandarin when she fell over again.

I was getting to my wits end (not very far from my wits beginning, admittedly) so I picked her up and cuddled her to see if a bit of mother love would calm her down. It was then that I realised what the matter was.

I have no idea how I did it.

Really, NO idea. I mean, even if I tried to I don't think I could do it again.

She had her jeans on, yes. But she had both legs in one leg of the jeans. Somehow I'd shoved both her legs down the same hole in her jeans. And hadn't notice for about 15minutes. No wonder she couldn't sit up without falling over.

And that's why I won't be winning Mother of the Year.

Black is the new Black

2007-06-16T23:38:00.001+01:00

My two babies.

How very 'Angelina Jolie' of me to have a multicultural family. What can I say? I'm a trend setter.

Honour is sporting a fashionably controversial black outfit - size 1. That is for a 12 to 18 month old. She's nearly 9 months, and has legs up to her eyebrows. (She takes after her father).

Meanwhile to see a ridiculously abundant amount of photos of her, including her new, dazzling talent....
Click Here

Conversations

2007-06-15T23:23:00.000+01:00

Conversation 1
With checkout girl at supermarket:

Girl looks at Honour

Girl: "How old is she?"
Me: Eight.

I load a few more bags into the cart. Brain catches up with mouth.

Me: Months. Eight MONTHS, I mean.
Me: She'd be really short for an eight year old.

Conversation 2
With shop assistant at Pumpkin Patch:

Girl looks at Honour

Girl: What's her name?
Me: Honour.
Girl: What does it mean?
Me: Umm, (sometimes people think it's Ona) It's spelled H.O.N.O.U.R.
Girl: Yes. What does it mean?
Me: (I look at her to see - please God - if she's being sarcastic. But nope)
Me: Ummm Honour? It means, uh, honour.
Girl: (Looks blank)
Me: It means to respect, to love, to cherish....to, er, honour.
Girl: (Smiles) That's a nice name.
Me: Uh, thanks.

She just can't kick the habit

2007-06-13T11:14:00.000+01:00

****New movie clips!!!*****

In order to showcase Honour’s new laugh, I sacrificed myself....no, wait, I have sacrificed Harley the cat....well, just his dignity. Waving him in Honour’s face was all it took to elicit her new - smokes 40 a day - laugh.

And just in case that isn’t entertaining enough (Ha! As IF!)....following the first clip is a demonstration of her new sooperdooper trick.

[Dave and Honour do their own stunts. However Harley and I use body doubles. Harley even has a stunt bottom double. He’s a classy cat, what can I say?]

Click Here to see the latest movie clip entitled 'Honour & Harley' in Podcast.

Jim'll fix it for you....(or else, Alyn or Nick will)

2007-06-13T10:06:00.000+01:00

It's healed! It's fixed! It worketh!

My new black baby is purring like a kitten, which is a very confusing sentence, but what the hey!

Our dear friend and mac guru, Mr Alyn Jones - he of the newborn baby and sleep deprivation - was at my beck and call answering my technical questions, such as:

"Um, the thingy doesn't work and the whatsit's doing something weird, what should I do?"

And he EVEN offered to do some fandangly clever thing whereby he used the power of his mind or chi or cheese or something to remotely access my computer in order to fix it. But I couldn't in all good conscience allow him to use precious moments when he could be napping to do this ...and so I tracked down Taupo's resident Mac expert (for whom we are forever grateful, Amen).

Well there were no end of problems because of all the content on my new MacBook coming from my previous Machismo...and that being all African Dictator (corrupted) and all.

OOOh so yes, there was that thing with the keychain access...and then it was all about the permissions....ahhh and then that pesky TCP/IP protocol....tsk tsk that was a tricky one. Yes, so there was that and then Nick did some fancy footwork and then it was nearly healed but not quite. But we all know that a partial healing is a sign that God wants to take it all the way, don't we? So yes, today the final flourishes of healing were completed, and I collapsed in a heap of gratitude.

So I expect that answered all your questions, Alyn, about what was wrong with it after all?

Also, the Butler did it, in the Dining Room, with a candlestick.

Ok, so now...onto MORE photos of Honour....which are now posted on my OTHER website. Cooo-eeee! How fancy!

Click Here to see the latest photos
The Slideshow option is quite fun if you're in the mood.

Foto Fest

2007-06-10T11:15:00.000+01:00

I'm back.

And how!

I have an extremely sexy, black, MacBook sitting on my knee...and it is mine, all mine!

(Or if you want to know who paid the bill, then strictly it is Dave's...but - uh - we don't like to talk about that)

So after being COMPLETELY thwarted for weeks and weeks and weeks...I now have 3 video clips waiting for you and conservatively about 3.782 million photos. In fact I have SO many photos I've decided to post them on my iWeb site which is considerably quicker than getting blogger to lumber about carrying pixels from here to there like an old arthritic gardener...with a limp.

Sadly, I am STILL being thwarted as my sexy new black friend has decided to throw a wobbly in two areas......video and, uh, iWeb photos.

Sigh.

So this is really just to tantalise you a little bit...and to let you know that when my Mac is healed (I am currently bathing it in a poultice of crushed Thyme with a dash of Witchhazel, which I feel will definitely get things going)...you have such delectable treats in store. Well, that is if you are wildly obsessed with Honour.

Here, at no cost to yourselves, are a few photos of the little 8month old cutie pie....

Making a Splash

2007-05-16T08:47:00.000+01:00

Second swimming lesson. Please note, no mascara.

Did we need to duck our heads under the water and blow bubbles?

Did we heck.

Hrumph, I was distinctly lacking in eyelash colour FOR NO APPARENT REASON.

Honour enjoyed her lesson and managed not to suck the swimming pool wall this time. She was found to be rather partial to sucking on a small plastic dinosaur. But then, who isn't?

She is also rather keen on sucking her two middle fingers:

This was the part of the lesson where we swim under the tunnel and the teacher pours water on our heads from a watering can. Honour was rather suspicious of this:

Meanwhile I was still faking my way through singing the action songs - how does "I'm a little pancake, nice and flat" go after all?

At least I am fully versed in the Hokey Cokey.

Look at me, look at me now! It's fun to have fun but you have to know how!

2007-05-07T08:41:00.000+01:00

You may not know this, but it's pretty darn fun to sit up unaided. A-huh, forgot that did you?

Just think about all the fun you have every day without even thinking about it - holding your head up, sitting up, being able to drink from a sippy cup, eat a pea without choking. It's a constant round of hilarity really.

Anyway, Honour is enjoying sitting up.

Not as much as she enjoys looking at Harley the cat - she only has to get a glance at him and she laughs outloud. We're not quite sure what the joke is....perhaps he has excellent comic timing.

Certainly he knows when to paws before the punchline.

Typical Sunday Afternoon in Taupo

2007-05-06T09:43:00.000+01:00

Dave jumped out of a plane at 15,000 feet.

Honour and I had a nap.

Same old, same old.

Oh you know, cute stuff about babies...

2007-05-04T08:32:00.000+01:00

First up - Honour and her chums. From Left to Right Honour, Riley, Sophie, Caleb and James.

No photos with this story - but I took Honour for her first swimming lesson this week.

It tested my logistical planning skills to the utmost - to get there on time, both ready to jump in the water, with enough towels, clothes, nappies, food and kitchen sinks to survive the process.....but I made it!

Honour seemed to enjoy the class which basically consisted of me swooshing her through the water while she tried to grab a small yellow duckie. We also had to have water poured on our heads from a watering can (her 'surprised look' came in very handy here) and she had to practise holidng on to the side of the swimming pool and pushing off. She thought that this was an excellent opportunity to suck the swimming pool wall. Lovely.

In fact it was all going, well - swimmingly - until I accidentally dunked her head under and she swallowed half the pool, went bright red and WAILED. Poor lovey.

Oh and I had to try and fake the part where the parents are supposed to dunk their own heads under the water, blow bubbles...and come up smiling!!! I had mascara on and didn't want to come up looking like 'Kiss' and screaming "My eyes! My eyes! They burn!"

Unfortunately the instructor spotted me faking it and came over to see 'if I was alright!' I fessed up about the mascara situation which she seemed to find hilarious. Just call me Paris Hilton. Next week I'm going to take a small, yappy dog in a gold handbag with me into the pool.

I wasn't feeling too bad about appearing in public in a swimsuit as my plan was to blend in with a rather matronly navy-blue Speedo one-piece. But au contraire! I was gobsmacked to see multiple other mums in some very sexy swimsuits indeed. Black, slashed things held together by chains and a lot of self-confidence.

They wouldn't have looked out of place on a beach in Marbella, sitting next to the Beckhams.

Clearly, I need to up the ante....perhaps false eyelashes next week?

What's cuter than a baby?

2007-04-29T08:26:00.000+01:00

A baby in a swimsuit.

Honour is a big, wet raspberry away from being seven months and had her first trip to the swimming pool today. You'll be delighted to know that I took a lot of wobbly, dark footage with sudden extreme close-ups and wildly lunging pan-outs....all to the indeterminate screams of people plunging down the slides. But you'll have to wait for this Spielberg-worthy offering.

My Mac is having a nervous breakdown, you see, and is in electric shock treatment at this very moment to try to sort out its schizophrenic hard drive. I'm typing this on Dave's "Daddy Bear" Mac instead. I'm actually getting quite fond of this full-size keyboard (which lights up - cooo-eeee) - it could definitely eat a whole bowl of porridge, leaving none for golden-haired interlopers. My Mac is "Mummy Bear" sized you see, and does not light up. Bah.

Speaking of porridge....Honour is enjoying mastering the art of the wet raspberry blow....and spits so much she ends up with a soggy face.

Except now she's started to do it WHILE eating her porridge....muesli....veggies....in fact just about anything she is consuming. It's less like mealtime, and more like the entire veggie section at Tescos going through a car wash.

Nice.

Fast-moving teeth caught on camera by slow-moving mother

2007-04-23T21:11:00.000+01:00

You'll never guess what this post is about....

No elephants were harmed in the making of this film

2007-04-23T08:03:00.000+01:00

Yes despite our ISP's best efforts to thwart us with ten days of on/off internet and phone connections....(after logging about a million calls they finally realised they'd made changes to the exchange for our street which had messed us up good and proper!).....I have a post for you. A video no less.

It's a couple of minutes long...and features Honour giggling away. She is celebrating the good news about little Abigail Jones being soooo cute! (Major congrats to Alyn & AJ)

Click Here to watch the video

(for the uninitiated: you have to wait for it to download before it will work...wait a few mins while the grey bar wends its way across the screen and then click on the play arrow button. Sit back with your popcorn and enjoy!)

Honour and Jordan

2007-04-18T09:24:00.000+01:00

While Dave and Stuart are away in Jakarta....Lynley and Jordan have been down in Taupo for a few days. Jordan has to be the smiliest baby on the planet and draws crowds wherever she goes - what a cutie! She is so like Stuart it is adorable, but she definitely has a look of Lynley too, and her mother's wonderfully elegant hands and feet. Jordan likes to sway and wave her hands and fingers like the maori 'Harere Mai' ( I think that's how it's spelled) which means 'Welcome'. She and her truly beautiful, tender-hearted mother are welcome anytime.

Meanwhile Honour is a human dynamo and although she hasn't mastered crawling, has her own means of moving from A to Z - mostly by going backwards, rolling and pivoting. She seems to be trying to invent a backwards crawl...which starts a bit like that 'crab' manoeuvre from gymnastics...with her arching over backwards and pushing herself up. She gave me a shock the other day - in the time it took me to walk ten paces to the kitchen and back she had rolled and wiggled about 3 metres and was wedged up against a leg underneath the coffee table. I have started to move things she could pull over on top of herself, out of the lounge!!!

She has the most expressive face, with her favourite expression being a wild eyed look of surprise that shows pretty much all of the whites of her eyes. She is working on a new smile - I call it the 'sniffy' smile. This involves wrinking up her nose, sniffing and showing the tops of her gums. It is quite hilarious. She seems to be a morning person (unlike me) and wakes up full of beans; chortling her way up the stairs as I bring her up for her breakfast. Everything is funny at 6.30am, it seems. This is news to me.

Bathtime is also very funny - even if she has been a bit grumpy at dinner, she perks up as soon as she sees the bath. We read her the same bath book every day (Mimi's Toes) and Dave and I can now recite it off by heart. This could actually be the first sign of insanity. Honour has started joining in with the daily reading and when I start with those immortal opening lines: "The water's warm in Mimi's bath when Mama puts her in" she often starts chatting away as though she is reading it too. (Or perhaps she is just desperatley babbling to block out the sound of me reading the same story every flipping day of her life.)

Anyway, enough burbling....here are some photos. There is a video too of the two girls together...and if our temperamental internet connection will allow me..I will post it soon.

It's my birthday...and I'll eat cake if I want to

2007-04-16T09:16:00.000+01:00

Or, ok, it was my birthday yesterday....April 15. Day the Titanic sank and Hitler was born. You think I'm kidding?

Thought that you would like a review of the momentous day (to my knowledge, no ships went down and no megalomaniac dictators were born). I will head these comments "Random things you may not want to know about my birthday"

"Random things you may not want to know about my birthday"

(you can't say I didn't warn you)

1) It was the third good hair day in a row. AND I'd just washed it.

Ask any woman how rare an event this is. In fact the day before, I was worried because I was having a premature good hair day. PREMATURE. Cos as every woman knows, in good hair/bad hair karma....one surely had to follow the other.

[Sidenote for the guys:
Basically how it works is the day you wash your hair is the bad hair day cos it's all fluffy and wild...and then the second day you have 'just enough' grease to kindof damp down the fluff and it all looks as it is supposed to. This is the point where it's tempting to risk leaving it without washing it for the third day...but this is the way to certain doom cos about the second after you decide to chance it and not wash on the third day, a gallon of grease mysteriously appears and forms an oil slick on your head.]

There. So now you know.

2) I received not one, but two Edward Monkton cards. I love Edward and want to have his badly drawn babies.

3) I received gifts guaranteed to bring joy to my heart....greeny-blue thingies and lacy thingies and spa vouchery thingies.

4) People, nice people, wrote nice things in nice cards. I like words. Words in cards. That say nice things. About me. Yes.

5) Lynley and Jordan were here.

6) I went out for coffee and cake. And by coffee I mean a latte the size of my head. And chocolate cake with raspberries and chocolate gloopy sauce.

7) Honour was a triumph in a purple cordoroy miniskirt with matching knickers, and matching purple turtle neck jumper. And she only puked on it a little bit.

Downsides were....Dave being away...phone line not working so missed calls....lots of you lovely folk not being here....

But all in all, a good day.

With not an iceberg in sight.

New Life Motto

2007-04-16T03:25:00.000+01:00

(Courtesy of Edward Monkton - from one of his very interesting cards that will become your friends)

Let us be lovely
And let us be kind
Let us be silly and free
It won't make us famous
It won't make us rich
But darnit how HAPPY we'll be!

Reasons why I'll never be a tooth fairy

2007-04-08T07:29:00.000+01:00

1) I'll never be a tooth fairy because...I once spoke to the tooth fairy in anger.

When I was a wee mite I used to place my teeth under my pillow before I went to bed. Um, perhaps I should clarify that statement. I mean the tooth or teeth that had fallen out.....not ALL my teeth. I wasn't a 7 year old with dentures. Hey do you remember that weird feeling when your tooth was all wobbly and just hanging by a thread...and you could poke your tongue at it and wibble it around? I used to like that feeling, but perhaps that is just me. ANYWAY, I'm getting off track here.

Yes so, there was one occasion when, as was the custom, I placed my fallen-out tooth in a matchstick box and placed it under my pillow before I went to bed. This was because (as everyone knows) the tooth fairy will come in the night while you are asleep and take away the tooth and replace it with a gold doubloon. Or, ok, a 20p piece. I was very excited about this transaction. More for the fact that a fairy visited in the night, rather than the cold, hard cash.

But on this occasion, the tooth fairy did not come.
So I put the tooth under my pillow again the next night.
And the tooth fairy did not come.
So I did again.
No fairy in sight.

So now my 7 year old self turned with ire upon the previously much-loved tooth fairy. In high dudgeon I wrote a large note - in anger - to the tooth fairy and left it on my bed so that she would read it and weep when she finally got around to her duties.

The note read: Dear Tooth Fairy, You did not come. So I have thrown my tooth out of the window!

And I had indeed, done just that. That'll show the stupid tooth fairy for spurning me!

Well, the next morning (a defining moment in my life) I was amazed to find that the tooth fairy had indeed been to visit in the night and SHE HAD LEFT ME A NOTE. It was a tiny, tiny note in miniscule handwriting on a very small piece of paper slightly bigger than a postage stamp. And it read "Dear Adele, I am sorry for not collecting your tooth. Love, the tooth fairy". Beside it was a fifty - yes FIFTY pence piece.

This was just about the most exciting thing that had ever happened to me. I had a real live note from a fairy! And it was so small and cute. I felt incredibly special - the tooth fairy must have felt very bad indeed about neglecting me! Ah, I can still remember how it felt to receive that note from a fairy. So amazing.

It was of course quite a number of years before I realised that it was my mum who had taken the time to write the teeny tiny note.....but it didn't spoil it, because how cool was she to do that?

2) I will never be a tooth fairy because....I was caught giving a false impersonation of the tooth fairy.

My younger brother James was just the best younger brother when we were growing up, and not just because he would give me his sweets after I'd scoffed all mine. No, another good reason was that he would believe what I said. I told him I had a magic train under my bed that would take me away every night to Fairyland. And he believed me; checking under the bed all the time to see if he could see it. So cute.

But this only encouraged my leanings toward the fantastic and also the deception of my brother. So one night when he had just gone to bed but I was still allowed up for another half an hour cos I was older (ha!) I dressed up as the tooth fairy (in gauzy fabric and with a wand) and hovered about in the doorway of his room in order to convince him he was being visited by a real, live fairy. Perhaps one that had arrived on the train under my bed. Unfortunately I was so thrilled with my own cunning that I couldn't stop giggling. Hence my brother wasn't taken in for one instant. Bah.

3) I will never be a tooth fairy because...I didn't actually realise that Honour's first tooth had arrived

I knew one was on the way (the last three months of drooling and gnawing gave that away) and I'd even spotted it in the gum before it came through (once Sonia the loveliest midwife in the world pointed it out). Then I felt the top of it all pointy and tooth-like. But I didn't actually realise - ta-daaaah - it was HERE. I thought it had to be all sticking up and white and toothlike before you could, you know, make the big announcement...bake a cake, hire a band etc. So, er, BIG ANNOUNCEMENT - her first tooth arrived about a week ago on her half-birthday.

(sound of a damp squib).

4) I will never be a tooth fairy because...I had just emailed some lucky, lucky people about the fact that Honour had her first tooth...when I saw I'd somehow managed to miss the SECOND one right beside it.

So, er, yes she has TWO teeth. And more on the way if the bright, scarlet cheeks mean anything.

Anything other than the fact that it is SO embarrassing to have me as a mother, obviously.

An open letter to Blogger

2007-04-05T21:11:00.000+01:00

Dear Blogger

re. The Curious Incident of the Disappearing Photos in the Daytime and also in the Night-time.

I know what you are doing. Yes, fiendish Blogger operatives, I am onto your evil plan.

You are trying to drive me crazy by making photos appear on my computer, and even on my husband's computer...but yet causing then to disappear on every other computer in existence.

This is clever, I admit. And sinister.

Just as you intended me to, I started to doubt my sanity as comment after comment was logged saying that they could not see the photos. While I could clearly see the photos.

(Please note that I gain more comments when you can't see the content then when you can...this could be a possible future ploy on my part to get messages in my inbox) (see how your evil ploys are spreading?)

And I am not ignorant of the fact that you saved up this strategy for JUST the very moment I chose to do a PHOTO essay. Which by its very definition is rather dependent on the ACTUAL PHOTOS. As you know very well, Blogger.

So now there are 30 minutes of my life I'll never have back, which I spent re-uploading all the photos I could already see very well on my website.

All this because you are trying to suck me into trying every other photo saving web thingymabob in existence...you want to turn me into a Facebook, Picasa, U-Tube and, dare I speak its name- a MySpace addict!

And don't even pretend that you don't own all those over services. Because Donald Trump I know it is YOU behind all this - you want to own everything on the internet - and then cover it in gaudy GOLD.

(By the way, you couldn't make MySpace any more nasty if you tried).

So, Blogger (or should I call you DONALD?) I am onto you.

Better luck next time.

Fond Regards to the Quiff,

Adele Richards

Toy Story - a photo essay...this time with photos you can actually see

2007-04-05T20:30:00.000+01:00

Some of Honour's friends dropped in for coffee yesterday...

While they were waiting for their drinks, a power struggle ensued over the improbable purple giraffe. Sophie and Honour went head to head..

Intimidated by Sophie's superior follicles...Honour moved in to tweak her nose.

Caleb tried to distract the girls from the power play by a manly display of bicep action:

Honour and Sophie were impressed with Caleb's press-ups; "He makes me go all weak at the knees," said Honour.

"That'll explain why you aren't crawling yet!" giggled Sophie (she was feeling quite weak in the knees herself about hunky Caleb).

"Ssssh" said Keira from across the room..."we can all hear you!"

Caleb smiled to himself, "I know, I'll impress them with my complicated engineering toy...that'll really seal the deal with the girls..."

Riley looked on from a distance, lost in his thoughts on his latest reading matter - Marcel Proust's philosophical work 'In search of lost time' - which he had been studying in the original French. Meanwhile, his mum was enjoying a slightly less challenging work - the Turtle Picture Book.

Keira was appalled to find that someone was trying to palm her off with the giant talking bear...when all she really wanted was the improbable purple giraffe.

"Use the power of your mind to summon the purple giraffe," her mother counselled her.

Just as Honour had finally managed to get her hands on the toy of choice...

...she received a startling telepathic message from Keira; offering a trade - the talking bear in return for the improbable giraffe.

Fortunately, at just that moment, the help (houseboy Dave) arrived with the coffee:

"That drink makes my mouth go funny," said Sophie:

"It tastes nice in a bottle," said Honour, "Almost as good as Starbucks!"

And it all ended happily ever after.

Toy Story - a photo essay

2007-04-04T22:38:00.001+01:00

Some of Honour's friends dropped in for coffee yesterday...

While they were waiting for their drinks, a power struggle ensued over the improbable purple giraffe. Sophie and Honour went head to head..

Intimidated by Sophie's superior follicles...Honour moved in to tweak her nose.

Caleb tried to distract the girls from the power play by a manly display of bicep action:

Honour and Sophie were impressed with Caleb's press-ups; "He makes me go all weak at the knees," said Honour.
"That'll explain why you aren't crawling yet!" giggled Sophie (she was feeling quite weak in the knees herself about hunky Caleb).

"Ssssh" said Keira from across the room..."we can all hear you!"

Caleb smiled to himself, "I know, I'll impress them with my complicated engineering toy...that'll really seal the deal with the girls..."

Riley looked on from a distance, lost in his thoughts on his latest reading matter - Marcel Proust's philosophical work 'In search of lost time' - which he had been studying in the original French. Meanwhile, his mum was enjoying a slightly less challenging work - the Turtle Picture Book.

Keira was appalled to find that someone was trying to palm her off with the giant talking bear...when all she really wanted was the improbable purple giraffe.

"Use the power of your mind to summon the purple giraffe," her mother counselled her.

Just as Honour had finally managed to get her hands on the toy of choice...

she received a startling telepathic message from Keira; offering a trade - the talking bear in return for the improbable giraffe.

Fortunately, at just that moment, the help (houseboy Dave) arrived with the coffee:

"That drink makes my mouth go funny," said Sophie:

"It tastes nice in a bottle," said Honour, "Almost as good as Starbucks!"

And it all ended happily ever after.

Text your answers to 1 800 dont care

2007-04-04T20:25:00.000+01:00

The winner of today's competition will receive a free steamlock veggie bag and a hair elastic.

Question: What is the glare at the bottom of this picture?

a) A glory cloud of seraphim and cherubim

b) A newly discovered, non-oil based power source; that the USA and China are fighting over in order to achieve world domination

c) Global warming

d) There is no glare - you need to get your eyes tested for glaucoma

e) Me not knowing how to take the flash off our new camera...while taking a picture of my new haircut in the bathroom mirror

Text your answers to 1 800 dont care

(voting not available to viewers outside the United States, or in fact outside of Milwaukee)

Raising the steaks...

2007-03-31T21:09:00.000+01:00

Er. Hello.

Ahem. So..haven't been updating so much lately...you may have noticed.

I could offer you a convincing explanation for the 'radio silence'...but it would be long and tedious. So let me just say instead that I got swallowed by a colossal squid and it's taken a team of biologists and pizza delivery boys 4 weeks to recover me from its inky depths. They are currently preserving the squid in formaldehyde....with a deep pan, cheesy crust.

So what have you missed in the road movie that is our lives....?

(stars indicate viewer rating *****)

1) Dave resigned from his job *** - Cert 18. tense, political thriller (contains medium level of violence and nudity)

2) Dave celebrated his 40th birthday with a very entertaining selection of cheesy jokes **** - PG. slapstick comedy for groan-ups

3) Coming soon to a cinema near you...Dave is yet to cash in his present from me - a 15,000 ft sky dive **** Cert 15. Adventure thriller with (hopefully) no nudity

4) Honour celebrated her half-birthday yesterday *** U - Feel-good movie you can take all your cuddly pets to (except cows)

Yes, the biggest little cutie-pie with the fluffy bunny filling (this is Honour I'm talking about, not Dave) reached her 6 months, half-birthday yesterday. She celebrated by having steak.

No, really. A very expensive, prime cut of beef. Cooked to perfection by Chef Daddy....

And smooshed to all-hell by Hand-Blender Mummy.

I even steamed some carrots - real, live carrots, not out of a jar - myself. And smooshed the becarotene out of them.

Smooshing. It's what I do.

So the wee cherub feasted on smooshed steak smooshed into smooshed carrots. And she LOVED it.

She's a very vocal child and likes to keep up a steady critique of the food as she eats it...and all the comments were 'mmmmm...mmmaaaa.....ummmmm....mmmm...yummmm'. Which I took as a very good reflection on my smooshing skills.

In fact I would say that her favourite meals so far have been steak...and the pineapple smoosh she had for breakfast the other day.

Interestingly, her father's favourite food? Steak. And his favourite fruit? Pineapple.

If it weren't for the excitable use of her eyebrows, I'd swear she didn't take after me at all.

Old MacDonald should really have a health and safety inspection

2007-02-26T18:46:00.000Z

Dearest ones, please forgive the lack of posts and emails of late. I am in mourning for the newly departed Sarah Dalley. Ag.

Fortunately I am anticipating her return very shortly as the job offer from the NZ Tourist Board is in the post/mail.

So far she is the only visitor that has enjoyed nothing but startllng sunshine since coming here. In fact since the day she came to the day she left (that heinous and distressing day on which I seriously contemplated mutilating her passport...no, really...SERIOUSLY contemplated) there was the most brilliant sunshine.

Hence the NZ Tourist Board is scrabbling to get a job offer to her before Barbados tries to get to her and snaffle up more of the global sunshine hours. She will paid to enter NZ and remain here, eating steak, drinking beer, playing with small godchild and soaking up the sun...that she has brought with her. (I nearly typed 'sin' then instead of 'sun' which is an interesting concept but entirely wrong of course).

Here is the kind of weather that you can expect when Sarah Faith Dalley is in NZ:

She whips up some fairly decent sunsets too:

Yes, so NZ needs her you see.

And to add further proof I have a video. For during the last few weeks I have discovered that Sarah has another hidden talent. Animal sound effects. She is a very convincing gorilla, meer cat, even a swarm of bees.

So for a rendition of Old Macdonald like you've never seen it before you really should take the 1.5 hours it will take to downlaod the 6minute clip. I know, I know, 6 minutes is too long....but I just couldn't edit any of it out.

Oh and Honour is in the video too. Purportedly as the reason/excuse for us to lark about making strange noises.

Click Here to watch the video

What's cuter than a baby....?

2007-02-21T23:00:00.000Z

Two babies of course!

I hope that this post will not brand you on the bottom with the cattle prod of searing jealousy when I tell you that not only do I have the lovely Sarah Dalley staying at the moment...but also Stuart, Lynley and baby Jordan. (See? You are smelling slightly singed now)

Hence about a million photos.... (Lynley will also be posting about a gazillion photos in due course but she wants me to tell you that she has forgotten to pack her photo downloader thingymabob in amongst the baby mat, baby chair, baby bath chair, baby travel cot, baby clothes, baby food, baby nappies, baby car seat and baby stroller that she did bring with her.Travelling with a baby....not as easy as it looks!)

Isabella Victoria Render

2007-02-20T18:53:00.000Z

WOOOOHOOOO! My brother and sister-in-law have had their baby girl!

Isabella Victoria was born on 17 February weighting 7lb2!

Isn't she just too gorgeous? Honour is very excited to have a baby cousin.

(Ok well it's me that's excited..but hey, she would be too if she knew what a baby cousin was!)

Huge congrats to Christa and James!

Please sir can I have some more? (Photo story by Honour)

2007-02-12T06:59:00.000Z

Here I am, minding my own business. Albeit strapped into a mighty snazzy high chair. (You should have heard the arguments my mother dragged out to justify buying this Italian designer model)

When suddenly a strange substance is introduced to my mouthal cavity...a strange substance called 'solids' (although it looks more like wallpaper paste to me.)

Holy Macaroni this stuff tastes good!

Hey, is there any steak in there?

Could you be a darling and pass me a serviette? One hates to appear uncouth.

Please sir can I have some more?

Is mummy smiling because she managed to find a turquoise high chair...or because she is beyond thrilled that I find Baby Rice to be the very nectar that my soul (and stomach) has been longing for?

Signs of the Times

2007-02-02T22:12:00.000Z

(Did I mention I met Prince once? In a 'our eyes met across a crowded check-in and he snarled at me' kind of a way?)

(Does that make me enough of a celebrity to go on some kind of reality TV show "Strictly Come Dancing in the Jungle cos Help I'm a Celebrity with Nothing Else to Do"?)

Anyway, the SIGN I am referring to is one I saw last night in the window of a petrol/gas station in Taupo.

The sign read, "Employees cannot open safe"

That gave me pause.

I mean, what kind of employer advertises his staff's failings by publically declaring them in the window?

What other signs might appear next?

"Employees not very good at cashing up"

"Employees cannot spell"

"Employees have terrible fashion sense and wear too many cardigans"

"Employees smell a bit funny"

In other news, I think Honour is teething. She has the drool (I think it is ironic that the main reason I never wanted to have a dog is that they drool all over you. And I really don't like to be drooled on. Well, only from a distance by George Clooney...he's ALWAYS drooling over me. But that aside, I don't like the doggy drool. Well, Fido can keep his pathetic amount of salivary action and his wobbly jowls, cos I have a baby that produces enough gloop to....er, well...what do you do with gloop? Send it to underprivileged philatelists (stamp collectors) who don't have enough mouthal moisture to lick their own stamps? You get my drift)

Yes so there's the drool. And there's the crying. And there's the constantly wanting to be held. And there's the pink cheeks. And there's the weird changes to her toiletry functions (which we don't need to go into). And there's the wanting to chomp on anything and everything.

I'm thinking of gnawing off my own arm and giving it to her to suck on.

Other than that, I'm taking it all totally in my stride.

(Falls to floor, bangs head on ground, goes unconscious for a few days and wakes up when it's all over.)

(Sorry, you accidentally entered my private fantasy world there for a moment. I can only apologise.)

Crouching baby, Hidden irish dancer

2007-01-29T00:18:00.000Z

Ang Lee's latest film was inspired by a Jolly Jumper, I'm sure.

A Jolly Jumper is not a cheery kangaroo....nor even a brightly patterned sweater....but a springy contraption you hang in a doorway, pop your baby in and settle back for the cutest moments of your entire life.

Honour looks like she is auditioning for a cross between Lord of the Dance and a martial arts film as she leaps off the floor and is suspended in the doorway.

She also does a mean impression of Marcel Marceau:

And here am I being charmed. Unfortunately I had just removed my knitted bonnet....when WILL you get to see it?

She's just heard that Michael Flatley is on the phone...

You'll never guess who's bought a new camera...

2007-01-27T08:10:00.000Z

No need to look so sad about it, sweetheart.

(Please note she is swaddled to within an inch of her life...the new cunning sleep technique. Well, when I say 'new' it's been around for thousands of years...it's just that I only cottoned onto it last week.)

The truly great thing about digitals is that if you take approximately 3,897 photos, you'll eventually manage to capture THE smile. (Also Dave's parents. Though they are easier to catch on film as slightly slower moving.) (Only slightly.)

Photo no. 3,898

Photo no. 3899

Off camera, Dave's Dad has the knack of making her laugh. Like father, like son.

Dave's mum has knitted Honour a new bonnet. Coincidentally she has just decided to join the Quakers.

It's a shame you can't see me in this one as I am also sporting a knitted bonnet.

I'm a little bit biased but is she darn sweet or what? Also, my thumb is pretty cute.

Thought.

2007-01-22T20:33:00.000Z

If they made dummies with different flavours like ice cream...

....do you think that the best seller would be raspberry nipple?

Motherhood 101

2007-01-19T23:41:00.000Z

As I wrote to Krista today, to be a mum it's like you have to hand in all your 'I know how to do this' chips at the beginning and buy a large slice of humble pie.

Although to be honest, I never actually had any of those 'I know how to do this' chips. And I got given several slices of the pie for free.

The first nappy I ever changed was Honour's. Baby ignoramus, that's me.

A case in point: I've invented a new way of tending to Honour's fingernails.

They have become very sharp and she keeps scratching herself and leaving shameful (for me) red welts all over her body. So before I get arrested for some kind of child abuse...I've been mulling what to do about it. Without accidentally cutting her fingers off with a pair of nail clippers.

I had the brainwave while feeding her this morning that I should try and nibble them off. (It's a glamorous life for me...do you want to hear about how I clean her nose...and get ear wax out of her ears too?).

So while she was distracted by feeding I grabbed a hand and started gingerly chomping away. Unfortunately at this point she finished feeding and was not distracted and so wanted to wave her hand about. But couldn't cos it was in my gob. I knew I was at a critical point in the 'save Honour from scratching her own eyes out' policy so I did what I could, to get her attention.

I went cross-eyed. And rolled my eyes. And wiggled my eyebrows. And contorted my face. All the while nibbling on my baby's fingernails.

She stared.

I remained cross eyed.

I nibbled like a rabbit.

Her nails are done.

Yes, you can put that in your book of 'Top Baby Tips'.

Or perhaps more likely in your book of 'Mental Notes - Ways in which I do not want to raise my child'

Your call.

The people I hang out with these days

2007-01-18T01:14:00.000Z

From the left; Sophie, Sam, Caleb, James and Rory

Just so as to remain accountable I should let you know that James is always making eyes at me. Although I see that Rory is trying to crack on to him. You've got to keep an eye out for the younger woman creeping in to steal your man!

Happy Birthday Krista!

2007-01-15T21:18:00.000Z

It's Krista's birthday (you may have gathered that from the title of the post)....and soon there will be appearing here a fitting tribute. But first....let us all pause and think about what life would be like sans Krista...

STOP!

Too horrible to contemplate.

Instead let us take pause to think of all the many times she has made us smile...
And while you are doing that, excuse me but I must just get to the shower before Honour awakes.

But then, but THEN my friends, we will have a celebratory post.

xx

Family Portraits

2007-01-14T05:21:00.000Z

Just in case you were worried that my obsessive need to document everything and everyone in photos was waning....

My parents depart tomorrow for Cambodia after a month with us, charming Honour and feeding us every couple of hours. (Definitely the way to my heart - you should taste my mum's melt in the mouth Tarte Tatin with fresh apricots and buttery pastry. Mmmmmm). So before they left I asked Nicole the photographer to come round and catch us en famille.

Much family bonding has been going on especially with Honour. She finds her grandparents extremely hilarious and is always giggling away at them.

You'll notice that there is a new family member - a French Bird (no, not a saucy new au pair).

Special Order Ponies

2007-01-10T02:49:00.000Z

Another couple of ponies by special request:

Cathy's pony:

Gandalf is a very wise pony. You can tell by the look in his eye. Smart. Very smart. And kind. Not to mention all his mystical powers. This horse dreams and he dreams about you. And it will come true. Also he loves new shoes. He is sporting some very snappy new horse shoes as we speak. Very good pony, this one.

Fiona's pony:

Woah there! We have a live one here people! This pony doesn't take things lying down! Oh no. You call that wall over there an obstacle? Pah! It's just a jumping fence to her. She'll fly over it with style. Wild, wonderful and just a little bit crazy, they don't come any better than this!

Thanks Shannon

2007-01-09T19:38:00.000Z

Following on from Shannon's recent post (too lazy to make link to her site, sorry)...here is my new year resolution:

In the year 2007 I resolve to:
Ride a mechanical bull in drag.

Get your resolution here.

Funnily enough, Sandra is going to a birthday party with a theme of Cowboys and Indians and there will be a mechanical bull there. I am already trying to angle myself an invitation as I really fancy the idea of having a go on the bull.

I hadn't considered going in drag though.....interesting....

(although strictly speaking I am always in drag. The word comes from Shakespearean plays where he made a note about a character in the margins: Enters D.R.A.G. Enters Dressed As Girl.)

This is Honour's NY resolution;

In the year 2007 I resolve to:
Sleep my way to the top.

Get your resolution here.

Sounds good to me (4.5 hrs sleep last night).

This is Dave's:

In the year 2007 I resolve to:
Sell myself on ebay.

Get your resolution here.

He is obsessed with trading on the NZ equivalent of EBay...so this could be scarily true. Perhaps I can create a piece of toast with an impression of the Virgin Mary on it and he can sell that too. Then with all my ill gotten gains I can buy a mechanical bull.

What? It's a plan.

You've heard of Snakes on a Plane...?

2007-01-04T22:17:00.000Z

Well here is Ponies in the Post.

As mentioned in a previous post; those who read to the end of my 2006 review get a free pony.

Although the ponies are currently clearing NZ immigration (Krista sent them here and I will send them on to you...) I thought you might like to see what is wending its way to you...

Linda Hope Cho's Pony:

This Spanish Pony is called Hiraldo. He eats only Paella and has to have a siesta every day between the hours of 12 and 4. But he's so charming and cuddly that he's worth his high maintenance ways.

AJ's Pony:

This handsome beast escaped from Le Cirque Du Soleil where he was part of a three pony team trapeze act. He enjoyed the performances but couldn't get on with the lycra outfits.

Stuart's Pony:

Keep your eye on this prankster - he's always playing practical jokes. That 'clingfilm over the loo seat' trick went down a treat in the stables.

(clingfilm=surround wrap)

Krista's Pony:

This pony is no ass, although it does have a very cute backside. Also lovely soft ears. Just like Krista.

Charlene's Pony:

This handsome brute nearly qualified for America's Next Top Model. But the gap in his front teeth and southern accent didn't go over well in the Cover Horse commercials for Hay flavoured Lipgloss.

Ash's Pony:

This little cutie pie (in front) can survive in very harsh climates and retain a winning attitude. If she's feeling a bit low she whips out her knitting needles and makes socks. It cheers her up no end.

Joy's Pony:

This pony is a smart cookie and likes to be at the cutting edge of technology. This Christmas he was delighted to receive a video ipod on which to record all his self-made movies including his food reviews "The Galloping Gourmet!" and his medical drama "Doctor, Doctor I'm a little horse"

Shannon's Pony:

This snappy dresser even looks good in his stripey pajamas. He stands out from the crowd, especially when performing his party piece - singing Carmina Burana with a pineapple on his head.

What no photos of Honour?

2007-01-04T20:38:00.000Z

Ha! As if....

Right now I should be hotfooting it to the shower. But I'm not. I'm blogging (duh). Mostly cos my legs won't work.

Yep, since I proudly announced that the wunderkinde was sleeping through the night - she stopped. Sigh.

I am hopefully attributing this to a growth spurt as she does seem to do everything on cue - and 3 months is another big spurty time. She slept 9 hours the night after my parents arrived but since then has basically been waking every 3 hours.

And LAST night...I got 50mins sleep...up for a couple of hours with screaming (her not me)...then 2 whole hours then up again...etc. The EVIL WIND has returned for a short sojourn (I trust).

Strangely 2 hours in a row seems quite restful these days.

Sigh. Am knackered.

Still, the breaking news is that she can hold her head up like a trooper (I'm presuming troopers are good at holding their heads up....what is a trooper anyway?) and she is practising her sit ups.

She is looking at her hands and clasping them together....and was spotted at several times to HAVE HER THUMB IN HER MOUTH. This is an exciting development for me as it means she can suck away at that...instead of....er....finish that sentence yourself. (No, she won't take a dummy/pacifier or a bottle).

AND (lest the excitement carry you away) she is NOTICING her toys and giggling at them. She is particularly fond of the strange purple giraffe with multicoloured bulbous feet that hangs over her head on her playmat. (But aren't we all?)

Yes so there you go - do I get an award for the most fascinating post ever???
(Perhaps a pony?)

About that pony...

2007-01-01T20:57:00.000Z

(read previous post first or you may think I have lost my mind)

(what do you mean you thought that already?)

So it seems that several of you are anticipating the arrival of your ponies. Hmm, I wasn't actually expecting anyone to read to the end of the post. Fortunately Krista has sent me a batch of ponies that she was supposed to be awarding as prizes from her blog awhile aback.

Unfortunately they are currently stuck in NZ immigration going through all sorts of biohazard tests to make sure that they haven't smuggled in any rabies (do ponies get rabies?)...or have any of that supremely evil substance - SOIL - on their hooves. You see New Zealand is largely free of all evil bugs and viruses and so before they let random ponies in the country they have to do thorough tests.

Along these lines, it was headline news on the TV last week when some kids found a snake's skull in the gutter outside their house. A national enquiry commenced. Furore abounded. Scandal whiffed.

Strange. Until you realise that there are no snakes in NZ. Not a single solitary snake. Unlike Australia where there are snakes a-go-go...not to mention just about every other thing that can nibble, sting or smother you to death. Including Russell Crowe.

Anyway, a follow-up story appeared on the national news the next day, where a neighbour of the children who found the snake skull came forward and confessed. Turns out the snake skull was a prize possession that her boyfriend had brought into the country. And that in the heat of an argument she'd thrown it out of the window.

So, phew. NZ can breathe a sigh of relief. We are still a snake free zone.

That should help you sleep better tonight.

(So, I'll pop the ponies back in the post to you once they've finished their quarantine. Expect them any time after 2017. Unless you live in Canada in which case the ever brilliant Canada Post (and for 'brilliant' read 'somnambulant' may get around to delivering them sometime in 2056. )

2006 (we finished it before you did, so ner)

2006-12-31T22:14:00.000Z

Hmmm well last year I seem to remember writing some lengthy review of 2005 which involved a lot of skipping about like a small girl with rope from country to country....leaving one continent and starting up down under.

So as I paced the floor at 1am this morning with Honour (I was doing most of the pacing) I started trying to compose a review of 2006.

It's a little less geopraphical than 2005. Basically all that has happened is that a) I got pregnant (still no idea how that happened - answers on a postcard please) b) 9 months later I gave birth (that wretched stork never did turn up with its cute little bundle so I had to do all the dirty work myself and c) since then I have been looking after delightful child (no I'm not talking about Dave).

So a pretty drastic year for us...but perhaps not so much in the telling. Despite this I am determined to write something about 2006 and so here for your edification and delight (or perhaps as a cure for insomnia) is my review of 2006 (in roughly chronological order)

In 2006 I have been mostly:

Weeing on a stick (ok, only a couple of times)

Eating potatoes

Groaning

Groaning in the bathroom

Groaning in the lounge

Groaning in the car

Puking

Puking in the bathroom

Puking in the shower (ewww, rice crispies, shudder)

Puking in the car (but actually I made it home in time... unlike my good friend Lorraine who once puked in her handbag due to morning sickness)

Eating potatoes some more

Larking about with Sarah Dalley on her visit to NZ

Puking some more

Larking again.

Larking and puking and parking and luking.

(Ok enough with the vomit. That was the first threee months of the year)

Writing radio commercials with too many sound effects

Flying to Canada.

Getting happy seeing friends.

Getting happy eating Tim Horton's Bagels and Milestones' asparagus dip.

Flying to UK.

Going to my Bro's wedding.

Getting happy seeing friends.

Puking (last time)

Flying back to NZ.

Puking (ok, I Iied before)

Growing a bump.

Trying to capture bump in photos.

Trying to persuade Dave to take photos of bump.

Trying to take photos of bump myself with a cunning use of bathroom mirrors.

Trying to get photos of bump without a toilet in the background.

Forgetting things.

Forgetting more things.

Forgetting the things I'd forgotten to forget

Forgetting words...and names....and dates

Eating more potatoes.

Teaching at the Fatherheart School in Taupo

Going to antenatal classes

Making inappropriate jokes at antenatal classes

Resolving not to make any more inappropriate jokes at antenatal classes

Forgetting resolve and making inappropriate jokes at antenatal classes

Getting very biologically aware

Getting very anatomically aware

Making more inappropriate jokes

Crying a lot for no reason

Crying a lot for good reason

Crying a lot for whatever jolly well reason I like cos I'm hormonal so DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?

Apologising for crying a lot

Moving house

Trying to sleep on my left side only

Pacing the floor in the middle of the night while fighting the temptation to sleep on my right side

Sleeping on my right hand side

Feeling guilty for sleeping on my right side

Rolling back to my left side

Throwing pillows around and sighing

Getting up and pacing the floor

(Repeat)

Eating potatoes

Mastering technology

Well, learning how to do a podcast anyway

Using too many sound effects on a podcast

Learning how to do a video blog

Having a baby

Walking like I just got off my horse

Being amazed at baby

Learning to feed baby

Not sleeping much

Looking like death warmed up

Loving baby

Going slightly crazy

Taking photos of baby

Taking more photos of baby

Taking even more photos of baby

Uploading all photos of baby to blog

Testing the patience of blog readers with photos of baby

Testing the patience of blog readers by writing about nothing but baby

Being amazed at how hard it is to be a mum

Being amazed at how fulfilling it is to be a mum

Changing nappies (700 so far - Dave did the maths)

Changing Honour's clothes

Developing one large bicep

Getting back ache

Thinking that getting up at 5.30am is a late morning

Thinking that 3 hours sleep in a row feels good

Having fab visit from Alyn & AJ

Having fab visit from the Dalleys

Having Christmas with my fab parents

Not updating blog much

Trying to capture Honour laughing and gurgling on camera

Making Honour stop laughing and gurgling by shoving camera in her face

Starting to read books again

Feeling vaguely human

Looking forward to 2007

Ummm...anybody still here???
Award of a small pony to anyone who makes it to the end...

That's all folks...have a great New Year!

Christmas Letter from Honour

2006-12-20T23:41:00.000Z

Dear all, Honour here.

My parents have asked me to write a Christmas newsletter to you all to make up for the scandalous lack of Christmas cards they have sent out. (They seem to think they have been a tad busy of late, but I can't think why - all they ever seem to do is coo at me.)

2006 started rather dramatically for me - and indeed it was the start of me. To recover from this, the first few months of the year I just floated around, slept a lot and had food constantly on tap. It was like being on a cruise.

I hear that you've had some pretty major things happen for you in 2006? Same here. Major events of 2006 worth mentioning; growing organs and limbs, gaining weight, gaining use of arms and legs, moving about rather a lot and eventually swinging upside down and standing on my head. So yes, quite a lot has happened this year.

September 30th is a day that stands out in my mind - as it came time to disembark from the cruise ship. After a fairly short and squishy journey I arrived in a place called New Zealand. First impressions of New Zealand - very bright and with lots of interesting sounds. I rather enjoyed using my eyes for the first time, although I was often found to be looking quite confused by what I saw.

In New Zealand the big people seem very surprised by me and everything that I do. They spend a lot of time staring at me, putting their mouths on me (they call is kissing) and carrying me around. They also talk a lot of nonsense. Mostly they say the same things over and over again, "Aren't you cute?" "Is it time for a nap?" "Shall we change your nappy" and "I don't know why she's crying!" They also complain about being tired a lot. They should really try and get more sleep.

So I don't make the big people feel bad about their lack of vocabulary I restrict myself to a few basic sounds, namely; coo, goo, rrrrrr, and I also squeak a lot when I laugh. They seem to understand these basic sounds perfectly as they always smile and nod, even copy the sounds when I make them. By repeating this over and over I hope to be able to teach them to talk to me normally one day.

Other things I have done this year; learned to hold my head up, smiled, rolled over a few times, learned to suck my fists. In fact when the lack of decent conversation is really getting to me, I just try to put both my fists in my mouth at the same time. I can play this game for hours. Ok, minutes anyway.

Well, I'd better get back to my busy schedule - a baby's work is never done. There is always more eating, playing and napping to be done!

So let me just say that is has been a real pleasure to meet some of you this year, and to those I have yet to meet - I am looking forward to it like a new parent looks forward to a full night's sleep. (My parents seem crazed with excitement when I sleep 7 hours or more..so I've recently decided to do this most every night as my Christmas present to them).

Have a wonderful Christmas and an exciting New Year,

With lots of love from Honour

xxxxx

Mother Love

2006-12-06T02:02:00.000Z

I think I may have solved the world energy crisis.

Yup, on an average of 5 hours sleep a night I have done what the G8 couldn't. You may start your applause.

Yes, this new fuel has actually been around for a long old time. You don't dig it out of the centre of the earth. Just out of the core of your being. It's called Mother Love.

Mother Love could easily fuel a car. It could certainly keep your national electricity grid sparky. It could even put a baby on the moon.

(Not that we would want to cos then we couldn't cuddle the little smunshkin munshkin.)

The only issue we have left is how exactly to harness this new superpower. (Jason Wendle of Harvard I expect you to solve this part of the problem by tea time please.)

No-one actually warned me that I was about to be hijacked by this overwhelming power. No-one could have explained to me the way it grabs you by the guts, places a tight band about your heart and makes every cell pulse. And jiggle. And jive.

It's overwhelming.

Visceral.

Sarah sent me a congrats card that read. "So this is what love at first sight is about"

The person who designed that card had obviously been in the grip of this superpower too.

Mother Love creeps up on you for 9 months and then leaps on you suddenly. Knocks you to the floor, rolls you over several times and punches you in the gut.

It's wonderful.

And terrifying.

And all consuming.

It makes me want to walk up to every woman who has a child and shake her by the hand.

I want to ask her in awe, "How did you survive? How do you live under its spell and still manage to act so normal?"

It's so ordinary. Having children. Almost 50% of the population either has done it or will probably do it in the future. Some people do it over and over again.

And yet.

And yet I can hardly imagine an experience that would impact you more. That could so change the fibre of your being. What could be so radical that it changes you into a different person in the blink of a small babe's eye?

If aliens landed in the garden tomorrow and asked me to be queen of planet zog, I think I would be a little underwhelmed. Compared to the experience of the last 9 weeks of my life.

Mother Love. The fierceness of it. The dedication of it. The fact that it seems to come with resources of selflessness and patience you never had before.

Also anxiety. And guilt.

Mother Love changes everything into 2 time periods: Life Before. And Now.

Now. Now everything is alright if she is alright. And nothing is right if she is not right.

Of course this power, this selflessness that rises up out of nowhere is demonstrated on a daily basis less by feats of physical courage and more by a million small unheroic acts.

Forgoing that cup of tea because she is thirsty. Letting your dinner go cold because she is hungry. Holding off your trip to the bathroom because she needs changing. Ignoring your aching back because she needs carrying and consoling.

And there are limits to it. Scary limits that terrify you when you reach them. When you think you just can't go on another moment. When you've been up since 3am and it is now 6am and she is still crying. And everything in you is crying out to just put her down and walk away.

But that thought - that you could actually do that - is so terrifying that you just hold her tighter and keep going.

Mother Love. It has to be from heaven. It's an out of body experience.

And to think however much I - imperfectly but violently - love Honour, that the originator of this love, the Superpower Himself, loves me more.

Now that makes me feel, very, very safe.

******************************************************************************************************************************

Just one more thing to say before I go and feed my daughter:

Thanks Mum.

What do you do with your spare 5 minutes a day?

2006-12-04T22:19:00.000Z

I fill in internet questionnaires...

Funnily enough I was drinking cocoa/hot chocolate as I was completing the questionnaire.
Also, cuddling really IS my superpower. Just ask Honour.
As for the rest of it....well it's a good thing I use my powers for good not evil, that's for sure.

Aw go on, have a go yourself and make sure you tell me what your results are.

(hey whaddyaknow....a post that isn't ENTIRELY about babies...)

Expressions of Interest

2006-11-22T03:38:00.000Z

Dear all, hello..and thank you for tuning in for my increasingly sporadic posts!

Having shoved a video camera in Honour's face at regular intervals (ok, twice) I have created another video blog which displays her lively range of facial mobility. It takes AGES to download. In fact an ice age may come and go while you are waiting...watch out for the hairy mammoth. Speaking of Dave...he leaves for India on Saturday. Sniff Sniff.

But back to the point....video takes a couple of minutes to download...you have been warned. Best to do it while you are at work, or supposed to be taking the bins out. That way you won't feel cheated of a few moments of your life.

You'll note from the video that Honour now speaks fluent 'Dolphin'. Also she appears to have picked up a few moves from "So you think you can dance".

Enjoy!

Click here to watch the video

Sorrow may last for 14 nights, but joy comes at 5.30 in the morning

2006-11-17T05:02:00.000Z

As you may have deduced (you Nancy Drew-ites) from my blog silence....we have been having a bit of a tricky time of late. The windiness leading to cryiness and nonsleepiness...leading to crazedmotheriness. (These are all technical terms.)

But, it seems that we may...just may...be getting somewhat over the worst of it. Apparently its quite common for babies to be unsettled between weeks 5-7 as they are having growth spurts and all that jazz. (It's the jazz that upsets them, I'm sure).
It's still up and down (ha...the wind is too)..and yet in the midst of all this, Honour managed her first 7 hour sleep. The little sweetheart slept from 10.30pm to 5.30am - her first official sleep through the night. Strange to think that I can be so excited at having to get up at 5.30am...but this is luxury these days.

So here's hoping that she does it again...then 8 hours...then 9....you get the picture...

Tomorrow, Honour will be 7 weeks old. At her check up on Tuesday she weighed 11.6 and is 64cm long. This is already 2cm longer than her 0-3month clothes. The girl officially has looooong legs! Oooh and she is smiling now and saying "Coo" which is the most adorable thing in the world. We will try and capture it on video this weekend.

Meanwhile, we are still in mourning for the departure of the Jones's....but the blow will be somewhat softened by the arrival of the Dalleys on Sunday. I persuaded them to 'pop over' from the Philippines where they have been ministering for the past 2 weeks. This is excellent news on many fronts...especially because Dave is leaving for India on the 26th. He is meeting up with Faustin and John A in Mumbai, and looking into setting up orphanages for street children.

So sad that he has to leave this little cutie...

I just blew in from the windy city

2006-11-10T20:01:00.000Z

The windy city is NOT mighty pretty. Bah.

This week we have been on a steep learning curve. So steep they attached me to the rest of my party with a rope and issued me with crampons (CRampons) so that I could ascend the near vertical ice rock face....that is called "Having a baby with wind".

(Or gas, for the Nth Americans)

Wind. It sounds so innocent. And yet trapped within her little digestive system it can reduce my sweet little Honour into a red-faced, screaming Pterodactyl.

Oh the pathos. Oh the sadness. When her cries reach the Pterodactyl scream it will literally break your heart.

In fact, one evening of much trapped windiness, my chest opened, my heart fell out and smashed intol tiny pieces on the floor. (Tiny pieces including several small springs and a cuckoo).

When you are pretty much spending all your time feeding the little cuteness and yet every feed you can FEEL the bubbles going down inside her...and you KNOW what this means for the next few hours/many hours. It is very demoralising. I have now tried every burping technique known to man. I may have even invented a few. And by all means tell me more of them (swing her upside down by her left leg, stand on your right leg and shout SCRABBBLE at the top of your lungs)....but really nothing seems to eradicate ALL the wind.

EVIL WIND as we like to call it.

I get some classic burps out of her (cause for much celebration) and then 5 seconds later....it's back.
Hence she has hardly been sleeping during the day. The odd 40min nap....

YIKES. I look like I live in the Land of the Living Dead.

But I don't. I live in the Windy City.

And it is NOT mighty pretty.

But let me just say that I am going to track down the inventor of Infacol (wind medicine) and hug him/her to within an inch of his/her life...I got some yesterday and so far it is KICKING Gripe Water's ass.

(If in fact, gripe water has an ass.....)

***P.S by the way we have eradicated my diet as the source of wind production....I have resurrected my BLAND DIET TM and it makes no difference. It seems to be a phase, possibly related to a growth spurt. Also the milk coming out very fast.

***P.P.S if you leave some cheery story about how your niece/nephew/child/pet monkey was like this....and it lasted till they were age 16...I will hunt you down. And I will NOT be dispensing hugs.

Video Killed the Radio Star

2006-11-07T21:42:00.000Z

Yes despite severe sleep deprivation I have capitalised on the presence of Mr Technical Meister, Alyn Jones, to launch me into the VIDEO BLOG. Woohoo!

Apologies first - this was my first video camera recording and is rough as a great big rough sailor, fresh off a rough voyage in rough seas from a rough land where the food was...yes you guessed it, rough.

BUT it does feature Honour (first redeeming feature) and it also just happened to capture her second ever roll over...AND (lest the excitement kill you) her lifting her head up.

These are major developmental landmark moments, people. And by chance I captured in on film. It is as if I just so happened to be there to video man's first walk on the Moon as it happened. Videoing in a very amateur space traveller kind of a way, of course.

Yes folks it is all happening here....try not to faint from the sheer professionalism of the camera work. (Note the grunt emanating from myself as I try to lower myself to the floor).

Enjoy!

To watch the video click here
Then click on the "Listen" instruction at the bottom of the first article, entitled "Honour Roll"
(yes that was my attempt at wit)
(oh and please ignore the idiotic tone in which I am speaking to my daughter....)

Cot to love it

2006-11-03T06:53:00.000Z

Momentous events in the Richards household. Honour has moved from her bassinet to her big girl cot. We've moved the cot into our room for the time being as the nursery is unfortunately downstairs at the opposite side of the house.
She looks very cute at the foot of the huge great cot but seems to be enjoying the space. Her favourite position is on her back with her hands above her head....a photo will follow when I can get one without waking her up!!

Honour experiences her first earthquake

2006-11-01T22:57:00.000Z

Yes I have both hands free! Woohoo! Alyn is entertaining Honour. He has calmed her with his Baby Whispering and has placed her on her playmat. Now he is lifting up the edges of the mat and shaking the whole thing saying, "This is an earthquake....I'm preparing you for when you live in San Francisco."

He's a scary man. But she seems to like him.

Having Alyn & AJ here is sooperdooper and I have cancelled the rest of their teaching tour for the next 4 weeks so they can stay here, cook, clean and create small earthquakes for my daughter's entertainment.

Meanwhile Honour is now 9lb14oz (she gained 10oz in a week...) and 57cm long. So she is now in her 0-3months outfits. Hurrah for playing with new cute outfits! Here are some of them....(drat...some of them won't load...)

Woohoo Alyn & AJ are here!

2006-10-26T07:49:00.000+01:00

YEY for Alyn & AJ being here! And the little Jones currently tucked up inside AJ and making mommy feel a bit peaky.

Honour is growing well and now weighs a chunky 9lb 4 at 3.5 weeks of age.

Here is a photo of her being weighed (in case you thought it was some medieval torture device)....and our lovely guests...performing excellent baby-calming duties!

Brain Fart

2006-10-24T02:41:00.000+01:00

Today making myself a sandwich for lunch.

Checking expiry date on ham to discover it expired (!) yesterday.

Think to self "Hope I don't get Listerine from this"

(Man, that would be some serious mouthwash.....)

Public Outings

2006-10-17T02:47:00.000+01:00

Made my first solo trip into town today. Well, when I say solo, I mean solo with Honour. Yes they even allow me to go out alone and unsupervised with her.

So I managed to get her successfully installed in the 'baby capsule' which sounds like something in which she should be shot into outer space. But is actually the car seat for ickle babies. I even managed to get her in without knocking her head off or dropping her on the floor. Pretty good eh? Mind you it's a good thing her legs are so bendy otherwise I don't know how I would have negotiated the vagaries of the 5 point seatbelt system. Don't the manufacturers of baby stuff know that I have fashioned my life so that I don't actually have to understand anything technical that involves buttons and clips and the suchlike. That's one of Dave's many skills.

Anyhoo we made it into town....I met Maya and baby Caleb for a hot chocolate and introduced Yfke to Honour. Then we popped into the estate agents to show Mel (heavily pregnant daughter of our real estate agent) the progeny. Then we hotfooted it to the curtain shop to show Sam and heavily pregnant partner, Hadie, the offspring. Yes I do just randomly make friends with anyone with an enlarged stomach. This is why Dave won't let me go into the pubs while the rugby is on. (Too many men with large beer bellies).

Speaking of public outings, I am hereby outing Dave as a closet performer. Today he was captured on film singing "My Girl" with a singing and dancing furry pig. Herewith the evidence.

Oh and some more photos of Honour. Surprise.

The Blessing of St Arbucks

2006-10-16T01:09:00.000+01:00

Hey so it was our 11th wedding anniversary on Saturday (14 October).

To celebrate we piled into our new and rather snazzy Prado (which actually IS the size of a tank) and whisked off to Rotorua - the place of the rotten eggs. Nothing significant intended by that.

Of course when I say 'whisked' I mean we packed 83 bags full of spare nappies, clothes, spit-up cloths, snacks, water, carrying contraptions and the bassinet. And that was just for Dave.

Anyway, this grand expedition was under the banner of "Adele wants a video camcorder with which to record every twitch, snuffle and movement of her new and permanent obsession - Honour". Honour and I were incredibly helpful in this - I pushed her (in her pram, it's rude to push babies otherwise) into the first store. We stood at the videocamcorder thingy counter for about 3.33 minutes. Then she decided to cry. So I wheeled her into the fridge section and we wandered around that for a while. As she continued to request her lunch I then took her back out to the car park and fed her in the car (with some very nifty shifting of the chiffon muslin thingy over my shoulder)....

Meanwhile Dave did all the price comparison things, rushed around to all the stores, decided on the best deal, purchased camcorder and came back. Honour and I were still hanging out in the car park. We know how to have a good time.

Anyway, after that...the highlight. Da da daaaah. Yes we decided to get the definitive saintly blessing on our wedding anniversary and hotfooted it to St Arbucks. This was Honour's first official visit in person. I think it is important that we got her into the swing of the cafe culture on her 14th day of being in this world.

By the way I am not responsible for this:

But I was very responsible for glugging down this iced latte....yum!

Meanwhile, we have decided on Honour's middle name. Her full name is Honour Zoe Richards.
She now weighs 8lb7oz which is pretty good weight gain in 2 weeks and 2 days.

Clearly she likes her lattes.

Honour - updated

2006-10-08T01:57:00.000+01:00

Plot summary: (typed one handed while holding a non-sleepy girl)

Honour was born at 11.58 am on 30 September in the water birth pool at Taupo Maternity Hospital. Weighing 7.14 the gorgeous little chunker! Natural birth. Official duration - 4 hours!!!!

Herewith a million photos:

Helloooooo chaps! I've missed you! How have you been? So good to see you again - nice haircut by the way!

Well I've been mulling this blog posting for a few days and as a testimony to the time consuming nature of having a newborn...have only just managed to get to sit down and write it.

I've had lots of ideas for the title of the post:

My latest attachment (a very Alyn Jones kind of title I think you'll agree)

The best weight loss plan in the world - I lost 7.14lb in 4 hours, and I didn't have to eat Subway.

I can tie my own shoelaces!

But then I realised that this post is about Honour....and so I went for the straightforward title.

Sooo.....for those of you who are playing catch up here is the plot summary. Warning, some level of biological content regarding birth will be following. (But not as much as I am willing to give in a private email. Requests accepted for a truly appalling level of detail....)

Friday 29th September 2006. This was my due date and Dave had told people that Honour would start to come at 2.30pm and be here by 7.30pm. Sadly this word spread around town and - I kid you not - I walked into 2 shops the day before and was greeted with a "Oh you're the one who's giving birth on Friday at 2.30pm!". Small towns, scary places.

Well, she takes after her father on the promptness thing because in actual fact she DID start to come on her due date!! Not at 2.30pm but at about 6pm. I'd just gone for a strenuous walk down the hill to the lake and more strenuously back up the steep hill. Must have done the trick because half an hour later I started having cramps.

Dave had just bought a new car - a very snazzy Prado - and so wanted to take me on a drive into town. We went to the Merchant of Taupo and I bought a box of imported Jaffa Cakes. The cramps continued.

I started to have a craving for duck...so when we got home I lay on the couch and watched the highly edifying America's Next Top Model (ANTM) while Dave ordered me Duck Cashew from the Thai Restaurant.

TO BE CONTINUED....SHE WANTS TO BE FED....CAVIAR, DARLING?? NO? MILK? AGAIN?........

Ok, I'm back. I may have only had 4 hours sleep - in 2 natty 2 hour segments....I may have a sleeping baby strapped to me in a very natty frontpack....but I am still prepared to blog. Call me crazy. Cos with all the sleep deprivation I nigh on am!

So, where were we? I was eating duck cashew and watching ANTM - a fitting way to usher one's firstborn into the world don't ya think?

Yep so basically the cramps continued all night...so I got about 2 hours sleep. (Yes I can count the hours of sleep I had in the first week on 2 hands. That's 10 for those of you who struggle with the mathematical content of this blog).

They weren't pleasant but they weren't awful either. Just like mediumly (yes that is a word...don't argue with me) bad period pains. Ok, glad that's put everything ino focus for my male readers.

Then I had a 'show' in the middle of the night. I will say no more....but it wasn't Miss Saigon. More, Miss Richards saying 'Hellooooo, I'm coming out soon!'

So by 7am I was ready to phone my midwife and say "Batten the hatches, I'm coming in!"

Note how I considerately waited till 7am to call. Actually it may have been 6.59am cos I got a bit impatient.

Now when the cramps started the previous night I was excited. You know, crampy, but excited. It was that feeling of Christmas Eve when you are a kid and you know that the thing you have been eagerly anticipating has finally arrived.

But by 7am, I was getting a bit over the excitement of cramps and was hoping that this was The Real Thing and not some jolly false alarm. My cunning midwife Sonia said that they were 'just cramps' and not contractions.

(TSK)

And to wait till the pains were 45 seconds in duration and then call her again.

At this stage they were 15 seconds long but happening every 3 mins or so.

Have you ever willed pain to last longer? Boy, did I want to reach that 45 sec mark and get the freak into the hospital!

So I packed my bag and staggered around the house, stopping every few minutes to clasp a piece of furniture and groan. Harley found this fascinating and started following me around. Then I realised he was trying to bite the cord of the stopwatch every time I pulled it out of my pocket. Thanks Harley.

Within an hour the 'pains' were 37 to 40 seconds long and ok, NOW they hurt. Fortunately it was only at the peak that they REALLy hurt and that was over in about 10 seconds. But not a fun 10 seconds.

So, 40 secs was long enough for me and we called Sonia again. She suggested that I get into the bath at home - this would either stop the cramps/contractions or speed things up. Dave went to run the bath and to find me a tennis ball to squeeze mid contraction as somehow this helped!

Once I got into the bath I realised the endorphins had arrived.

Pulsating Placentas, Batman! Those endorphins are good! They are the natural equivalent of morphine and your body releases them when you are in pain.

Man, I was completely spacey. Totally relaxed. Felt amazing. Happy. Drugged. Was almost seeing double. I went into this whole other zone.

And then the contraction would start and MAN I'd be writhing with pain and kindof dry sobbing....and then it was over and the endorphins kicked back in. It was the weirdest thing. To go from absolute relaxed bliss to YEAOUCH pain within a few minutes. It makes it pretty much manageable though cos during the contraction you just focus on the fact that the endorphins are about to take you away to La La land to recover for a few minutes.

Anyway, we called Sonia and told her the contractions were getting longer and so she gave us the green flag to come in.

Having a contraction in the car while I couldn't writhe about was pretty awful....and when we arrived at the hospital (5 minute drive away!) I staggered out of the car in the middle of another one and was staggering to the door weeping and groaning like I'd lost my mind!!!

I ignored everyone and in my spacey, endorphined way headed down the corridor to the pool...they are lucky I didn't start unddressing in the corridor en route to the pool. Cos by that point. I just did not care. Really. I just DID NOT CARE about who saw what or when or how.

The midwives headed me off at the pass before I burst into the birth pool room and dived in headfirst yelling "where's my rubber duck?". Fortunate, because there was someone else in the room at the time!

So I was herded into another room and lovely Sonia arrived and lovely Denise arrived. Denise asked me a question...but I looked at her through my endorphin haze and just said, "can you take my shoes off for me?".

Dave was squirting water into my mouth from a drink bottle. Denise was putting wet flannels on the back of my neck and lower back. Sonia did a check to see how far gone I was.

This was a terrifying moment cos I thought if I'm only a few centimetres ready....I'm not sure I can keep this up for another 12 hours!! But PRAISE GOD (and I did) I was 8 centimetres already by 10am.

YEY.

By this stage the contractions seemed to be shorter, extremely intense at the peak, but shorter at the peak too. So it was really ok...in fact better than the previous hour I thought.

Denise joined in with the breathing to help me pant my way through the peaks. (She later confessed to thinking she was going to pass out!).

Dave kept watering me. Denise kept up with the flannels....and finally the birth pool room was ready.

Getting into the pool was fantastic. Dave & Denise kept splashing water on my lower back and this really helped.

I felt like once I was 10cms and ready to push, my work was done. I'd worried about the first stage and figured that the pushing would sort itself out. Ha ha.

Although it kindof did. It's so true what they say about your body knowing what it is doing. As soon as I was ready to push I just couldn't hold it back. It hurt less pushing than having a contraction but it was really tiring. I couldn't believe all the weird guttural, animalistic noises I was making as soon as the urge to push came! I was so loud I was hurting my own ears!!!

It was really an out of body experience in every way!!!

The good ol' endorphins were still doing their thing so I was pretty much on another planet in between pushes.
I was aware enough to realise that I was saying some pretty ridiculous things:

"I don't think I can do it."
"I don't think she's ever going to come out"
"Can I go home now?"
"Can someone else take over please?"

Yes. I actually said those things.

So I pushed and pushed and pushed and it felt like nothing was happening. The others kept encouraging me to keep going. None of them volunteered to finish things off for me which was a bit mean i thought. Dave kept telling me how amazingly I was doing. Denise & Sonia kept assuring me that the baby really was going to come out.

Then they all started getting excited cos they could see her head. A few great big pushes, and OH MY GOODNESS the relief - she was out! The instant physical relief topped with the absolute amazement of seeing this gorgeous, chubby, purple (!) baby! So bizarre to realise that she had been inside me all along. They put her in my arms there in the pool and I was just amazed with her. Dave was grinning like a loon! It was the most surreal and fantastic moment.

I couldn't believe how big she was! How cute! How dark! And although I'd never seen her before in the flesh I knew her, and I loved her straight away.

Awww, isn't God amazing? He gave me the best job in the world. To be Honour's mum.

Personal Correspondence from Blog Readers Anonymous

2006-09-28T21:22:00.000+01:00

Email 1

Dear Ms Dalley,

It has been brought to our attention that after considerable thought and not a small amount of pondering you have decided to create your own blog.

Our society (Blog Readers Anonymous (BRA)) is delighted to hear of this impending new blog.

Word has been circulating amongst BRA members for a number of days now that your launch is imminent.

BRA would like to offer you considerable support for your venture. We believe that you will find our support to be an uplifting, and not-too-separating experience.

However there is a certain degree of impatience to see the launch of this blog building in some quarters. In order to placate our firm BRA members, please could you supply the URL of your blog as soon as possible.

The world is waiting.

In eager anticipation,

Mavis Firmbottom
Secretary
BRA

Email 2 - Response

Dear Ms Firmbottom,

Thank you for the kind letter from you and the distinguished members of Blog Readers Anonymous (BRA).
What an honour to be recognized by such a respected society.

I am delighted to let you be the first to view the launch of "The Fast and the Fabulous."

http://fastandfabulous.blogspot.com/

Respectfully yours,

Trudy Leanthighs
Beginner Blogger

Email 3

Dear Trudy Leanthighs, (and may I mention how aptly you are named)

I have been to aforementioned Blog site and see no signs that you are a beginner blogger at all. In fact I believe you may already be an expert judging by your witty and well-sculpted first entry.

BRA would like to know if we may make a public announcement about your new Blog on the Randomaneous site. Bearing in mind this will open you up to public scrutiny, please consider your response carefully.

BRA would hate to be responsible for angry accostments in Starbucks, or even the drooping of your Blog morale. BRA is firmly against drooping.

Thanks for your consideration of our request,

Yours,

Mavis Firmbottom
BRA

Email 4- Response

Dear Mavis Firmbottom,

Thank you for your kind email. May I reciprocate the mention of apt namelyness.

I would be more than delighted for BRA and in particular the renowned Randomaneous site, to make a public announcement about my blog's creation.

I am aware of your firm standards against drooping and feel that such a public announcement would only lead to more perkiness.

I entrust myself to the hands of your creativity.

Yours,

Trudy Leanthighs
Beginner Blogger

Public Annoucement from Blog Readers Anonymous (BRA)

Dear all, I am delighted to unveil our latest and greatest blog.

I feel sure that we will all be enjoying it's verbal flourishes and piquant insightfulness for many years to come.

The author, Trudy Leanthighs, has become a personal friend of mine and for that reason alone I will not be accosting her in Starbucks about any personal comments she makes about me on 'The Fast and the Fabulous'.

I hope that my more mature and experienced readers will note the reference to that epicentre of the movie canon in the title of Trudy's blog. (The fast and the furious). As we all know, Trudy is a firm fan of the acting talents of that fine young man, Vin Diesel. He also has great guns.

Please patronise the establishment of this new blog in a manner commensurate with your status as members of BRA by offering your daily support in an uplifting manner,

Yours as always,

Hilda Firmbottom
BRA

Click here to sample The Fast and the Fabulous

Retail Therapy

2006-09-27T21:56:00.000+01:00

Yesterday, mostly I read a book.

It was "One Good Turn" by Kate Atkinson. (I would create a link to it...but I am too lazy. Plus those of you who are reading this at work can now waste an extra 2 mins by searching for it on Amazon. See how considerate I am?)

Kate is one of my favourite authors. (Along with the heady company of Dickens, Peter Hoeg, Lawrence Sterne, Margaret Atwood, Wilkie Collins....oh and too many others to mention)(Which, yes, means I have forgotten their names).

Kate usually writes something 'they' call magical realism. Which probably goes along way to explain why I like her so much. Unless the term 'magical realism' means nothing to you.

In which case let me attempt to elucidate by example:

"Roger pulled the car over. He was nearly out of petrol. A large nearby tree bent over and lay on the ground. "Why?" It groaned to itself."

Yes, a kind of realistic book where barking mad things happen for no good reason.

Anyway, the latest Kate Atkinson is not like this. It is a crime novel. It is good. (Although I prefer more singing trees and airplanes that turn into oranges. And dogs that are in love with the goat from next door). The last line was my favourite bit. It made me smile.

But this is all by the by. Although I will mention that for the majority of my reading time I was kneeling on the floor leaning forward up against the bed in a most uncomfortable position - that in theory helps the baby twizzle round to the right position. Hum. Doesn't seem to be working so far. (But see, just see how noble I am??? Can you see it?)

The point of this post was REALLY to tell you about going into town AFTER the book reading, but as usual I got carried away talking about myself. Er, although the rest of this post is also...talking about myself. Surprise! That's kindof what a blog is though, right?

Anyway, I went into town, had coffee with Mel from antenatal class - who had her baby SIX WEEKS ago. SIX. SIX. SIX.
(Sorry, started banging head on wall)
Then I went straight to the shoeshop and bought myself these:

Mmmmm. Drool. Drool. I had to get the girl in the shop to tie the laces for me when I tried them on cos I couldn't do it myself without giving myself a kniption. And a kniption is not something you want to have in public.

Rather than ask her to untie and remove them for me (and also peel me a grape while she was at it) I just wore them home. Admiring them all the way. Yet another Adele impractical shoe purchase - what with the green suede and the gold material. But purhlease -they are so pretty.

By the way, did you know this?:

Mona Lisa pregnancy theory mooted

The scans can look beneath old paint and varnish
The famous smile on Leonardo Da Vinci's Mona Lisa could be because she is pregnant or had just had a baby, research suggests.
Canadian scientists used laser and infrared scans to produce a 3D image of the painting.

This allowed details beneath layers of paint to be seen - including a gauzy dress then associated with pregnant or new mothers.

Uh. Whaaa?

2006-09-26T06:50:00.000+01:00

So I was just walking down the road.

In my flip flops as it has just turned gloriously summer-like here.

Walking a little like a Japanese geisha who is severely restricted by long skirtedness.

Or perhaps it was more 'waddling' like a duck.

In any case taking teeny tiny steps so I don't have to go "Oooh" outloud at every pace. (Just cringe internally)

And then.

I got wolf whistled.

From a passing car...which appeared to contain 'yoof'.

WOLF WHISTLED.

What could I do but laugh?

And feel sorry for the short-sighted youth who was just about to be ridiculed by his mates for accidentally wolf-whistling a 9 month pregnant woman.

Are there any other circumstances under which this is acceptable behaviour?

2006-09-26T01:21:00.000+01:00

When someone bids you farewell by saying "See you on Thursday!"

And you reply - outloud. OUT LOUD. "Hopefully not!"

And it is perfectly acceptable?

When you are hoping to go into labour at any stage....it becomes acceptable.

I'm being optimistic as her due date is not till this Friday and let's face it that is a bit of an arbitrary date which means not much in the greater scheme of things. Despite this Dave has scheduled the birth in. Apparently it's going to start at 2.30pm on Friday and she'll be here by 7.30pm. Which would be a bit of a lively schedule if you ask me.....

Meanwhile I am torturing myself with thoughts that she could actually, legitimately be another 2 weeks!!!! Oh the impatience!

I seem in the last few days to have genuinely reached that 'fully pregnant' feel which some women seem to experience for weeks/months. It's the...ooh I can hardly twist around to look over my shoulder when reversing the car.....please don't make me bend over I may never be upright again....argh I have a 7lb baby bouncing on my bladder and bottom-bumping my stomach....FEELING.

I've just been to the midwife and the breaking news is that for the first time in about 8 weeks Baby R (shall we call her Drumstick?) has moved position! Sadly it is the wrong way!!! She is now a little bit posterior....so her spine is running down my left side....but further over and heading around the back.

Hopefully this just means she has decided to take the long route to the correct side.....via my backbone. Fair enough. I am a bit of an ambler myself when it comes to getting from A to B.

Otherwise, all is well....just about every possible little thing is ready....we have decided on a firstname...if she is in fact actually and really a girl. But don't ask me what it is as we won't unveil it until we see her and see if it fits. I'm also getting a bit worried that with all the spoof names we've been bandying about (Cynthia, Agatha, Esmeralda, Drumstick) when we announce her REAL name - you will all think it is a joke! This is what happens to the girl who cries "Wolf!" or "Fire!". Actually I used to know a guy called Wolf Forrester-Barker.....but that's beside the point.

So be warned...when the name is announced attached to details such as birth date, weight etc...it's the REAL name. And stifle your laughter my friends. Stifle it, I say.

Ok, just to distract you from all this nonsense...how about some MORE pregnancy photos? Yes there are more....unbelievable isn't it? But inspired by Lynley's beautiful shots taken by the lovely AJ...I felt most thwarted that AJ wasn't here to make me look all wistful and content etc. So I booked a Taupo photographer....and I have to say the girl done good! Well, I like them anyway!

The more reckless elements amongst you are demanding more details...so what can I do?

2006-09-22T04:56:00.000+01:00

Ok so it's just Cathy and Krista who are asking all sorts of specific and informed questions about Baby R....but I hate to deny anyone of a blow-by-blow account of all things detailed concerning the babe. So here are as many details as I can think of concerning her...and inevitably myself. Don't worry I will spare you the scary, girlie details.....I only send those out by email to those with cast iron constitutions!

She is currently standing on her head with her backbone running up my right hand side....her legs crossing over to my left hand side. Kind of like a 'g' formation. She has been in this position for weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks. She isn't one of those babies that does dramatic cartwheels and makes your stomach lurch like a Mexican Wave. She seems to have found her spot and stuck to it. Of course there isn't that much room for her to tango about!

The 'ideal' position as far as I understand it is for her to be head down but on the other side...so kind of like a p...this makes for the easiest exit strategy. But she can suddenly swivel into this at any moment during the actual delivery so it's not a biggie that's she's the other way around. I keep doing all the correct things to help her move into position...sleeping on my left, leaning forward at all times, not leaning back - oh no! The forbidden pleasures of slouching and lounging...these are foreign to me! Still, it makes no difference! Oh well! As long as she isn't breech (bum down) or posterior (her backbone to my backbone) things are hunkydory.

When I do something that annoys her - you know make an inappropriate joke or slurp my soup from the wrong side of the spoon - she kicks me in my left hand side. If I'm lucky her feet will kind of hit me in the ribs which makes me go "Oh!" and rub the spot vehemently. That usually calms her down. She's not so much about the kicking, to be honest.

The thing that sets her off is if I roll onto my right hand side in bed (one of the FORBIDDEN positions). She doesn't seem keen on this position at all. Or perhaps she is a stickler for the rules??? My daughter? Not likely!

Occasionally she'll kick me while I'm bobbing about at Aquanatal....but I take this as a sign of her deep enjoyment. (As you can tell I don't have a clue what's going on I just interpret it according to my whim......is this good parenting???)

She'll quite often get hiccups at night and then my right hand side will pulsate for a little while as she hiccups away! Somebody told me that babies who get hiccups (wait for it...this is bizarre) have a lot of hair!!!! Erm, how on earth does that work? She has a plait like Rapunzel and accidentally chews on it and gets gas????

Other than that the most common movements are as she turns her head...and that is quite a peculiar sensation I can tell you! She's 2/5 to 3/5 engaged...which means that her head is 2 to 3 fifths down in my pelvis. The baby doesn't get to 5 fifths engaged until about a second before she pops out...so that stat really doesn't tell you anything!!! First babies apparently engage their heads earlier as they are more squished for space and get pressed down sooner. Nice!

Sometimes she'll get a complete wiggle on and just squiggle and squirm non-stop for ages. Probably at least an hour I'd say. This often happens when I sit down after wandering around and being active for a long time. (My motions rock her to sleep and when I stop she wakes up). So about 7pm in the evening is a lively time....or when I go to bed. Also at church!!! She can push up into my ribs & lungs at these times and it gets quite uncomfortable and hard to breathe. I tend to pace or rock or walk about if she has a wiggle on. But often she just wants to wiggle and wiggle she will! This only usually happens once or twice a day. I guess wiggling has limited appeal when you can't really move anywhere!

She seems to be quite a chilled out baby in terms of reactions....things don't seem to get her all hot and bothered. If I have a really cold drink...or spicy food....or listen to loud music...she takes it all in her stride. She did leap about continually during the Pirates of the Caribbean. Don't know if that was all the vibrations from the sound effects. Or the fact that she really likes Johnny Depp with eye liner. I have my suspicions.

While being pregnant my tastes have changed quite a lot...so I don't know if I can attribute this to her personal tastes affecting mine. Or whether it is the hormones. But if it is all about her...we can establish the following:

1) She is obsessed with the potato. I have never eaten so much potato in my life. Mashed. Boiled. Baked. Fried. Chipped. It's all good.
2) She likes bacon. I have never liked bacon! Oh but now......those piggies are not safe around me!
3) She likes beer. A lot. I have never liked beer....but when I sneak a sip of Dave's these days...it is like NECTAR. It takes considerable restraint not to neck the lot.

(Is it coincidence that she spent time in her formative months with a) my parents - the devotees of the bacon butty and b) Sarah Dalley -one of the few elegant women I know who loves beer?)

4) She likes her tea strong. A good Northern strength with a dash of milk. But...but.. I like my tea weak with loads of milk!!!
5) She has a wild passion with all things Citrus. At a conservative estimate I have consumed about 342 gallons of orange juice in the last 9 months.
6) She's not so much about the sugar. Makes her feel gacky.

So....that is what we know about the adorable munchkin so far.

Well, when I say 'know'...clearly I am making most of it up as I go along!

Hope that has satiated Cathy & Krista's need for details....and not killed the rest of you off!

By the way, I already feel extremely fierce about the cherub...so please don't leave any disparaging comments about her. Or I will be forced to seek you out in the wee hours and put a bat up your nighty.

You have been warned!

Are you a glass half-empty or glass half-full kind of person?

2006-09-20T21:18:00.000+01:00

So this should separate the sheep from the goats....the espressos from the lattes....or more to the point the cats from the dogs.

Here is an email that my lovely sis-in-law - Christa sent me today.

So my question is, who do you relate to more?

And don't give me some tripe about not relating to animal behaviours. I've seen how you eat.

(Although if I were inclined towards being a dog, I might like the tripe....hmmmm)

A Dog's Diary

7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!

A Cat's Diary

Day 183 of my captivity.

My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.

The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. Maybe I should try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. I must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little kitty cat I was. This is not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing something called "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks with them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.

But I can wait.

It's only a matter of time..........

38 Weeks

2006-09-14T23:03:00.000+01:00

Holy smokes! Can it be true? Have I managed to get Dave to hold an ACTUAL camera in his hand so that I can have a photo sans the toilet lurking in the background?

Yes 'tis true - the pregnancy husband's duties are never-ending and he patiently pursued me around the house last night trying to find enough light to illuminate the bump.

I'm 38 weeks today and the babe is officially full-term, even though most pregnancies run to 40 weeks. So in theory I could slip into a mildly uncomfortable, evenly paced labour at any moment! Then again if she decides to be a bit on the fashionably late side I could have another 4 weeks to wait!

In this case as in many others I am hoping that little Esmeralda takes after her father - who is the model of punctuality and the very antithesis of procrastination. In fact if you could bottle Dave or somehow turn the essence of Dave into a pill - he could single-handedly erase time-wasting and procrastination from the face of the earth. It would be a more exciting discovery than a diet pill that actually works! So you scientists out there - get working on that ok?

Of course my personal motto is "Why procrastinate now, when you can do it tomorrow?"

Anyway, while we're talking about Dave....can I just tell you that he has been a totally amazing pregnancy minion/husband?

I lose count of the number of times he pops back at lunchtime from his high powered job where he is responsible for millions of dollars worth of buildingy stuff - only to find me crying on the couch for some inexplicable reason. At this point he then shows exemplary behaviour by:

a) noticing that I am crying/have been crying/am imminently about to start crying
b) giving me hugs and asking what is wrong
c) not sighing and rolling his eyes when I respond that mostly I don't know
d) saying something encouraging
e) making a sandwich with enough cheese to re-constitue the moon if it ever falls out of its orbit - thus making me laugh (at the amount of cheese he uses, not the thought of the moon falling out of the sky)

Sometimes he comes home after a hard day of about 83 hours of work in which he has solved more fractions & disputes than Kofi Annan ever managed to...and finds not a piping hot dinner prepared for him by his layabout wife. No, in fact finds layabout wife, laying about either looking sleepy or tearful. And he doesn't go ballistic. In fact he might just cook the dinner himself. And even refrains from putting 203 chillis and 7 sackloads of spice into it - to suit his own personal long-ago-exploded tastebuds. Instead he follows the Bland Guidelines that I am currently enforcing in all cooking. In fact soon I will be releasing my new cookbook "Beige and Bland - Adele's Pregnancy Cookbook".

Also, he is always telling me what a good job I am doing growing and looking after the baby. And that he is proud of me.

Plus he is totally interested in the purchase of all baby accoutrements and takes time to shake them, bend them and work out how the 23 safety features work. In fact I may have to call him up every time I want to use the stroller/car seat/bouncer/toilet...just to remind me how to do it!

Yeah so he is pretty amazing. I feel very, very lucky to have such a fab husband.

(Oh and did I mention that he earns actual MONEY? And I get to SPEND IT.)

Meanwhile, Harley is getting very anxious about the impending new arrival. Please witness his stressed out pose....

Nesting....or just a bit of light cleaning

2006-09-11T03:02:00.000+01:00

Finally the nesting instinct kicks in.....

Or is it that I just got around to cleaning up?

Well I haven't got the urge to scale the walls and clean the picture rails. (Fortunate, as there aren't any.)

Or to ascend ladders up the side of the house and scrub the windows with my toothbrush.

And the tile floors are still safe from my close attention with a scourer.

Ok, so really all the 'nesting instinct' amounts to so far is a bit of hoovering, washing and ooooh - the piece de resistance - Shannon, are you ready for this? I organised the food in my cupboard into types....."carbs" "spices" "sauces" "snack foods" "jams & spreads" etc.

Phew! An achievement indeed.

Oooh and I washed all the baby clothes and bedding in eco friendly non-allergenicy stuff. And made up the cot and bassinet. So just in case Baby R decides she can't wait another 3 weeks to meet us, we are almost ready.

Oh and I sewed tags on a wall hanging for the nursery. And put things up on the walls. Cos we're renting we can't do much about the boring grey/brown walls so I've tried to snazz it up a bit with accoutrements.

I tried to take some photos to show you the baby's room....just in case you are interested!!!! I'm sure you're all as fascinated as me by bed linen and wall hangings......hmmmmmm! Enjoy!

Journalism at its best

2006-09-08T08:03:00.000+01:00

This is the front page of the Taupo Times today.

Honestly.

Not photoshopped.

Just here in all its unadulterated glory.

(It was a police dog...in case you were wondering)

Spring is sprung. The grass is riz. I wonder where dem birdies is.

2006-09-04T05:28:00.000+01:00

I'm back from the big smoke (Auckland) where there were malls....oooh...and big shops.....oooh and big roads...nyahh.....and the ocean.....aaaahhh.

Ah yes and the conference was jolly good too. Billsibob Johnson (as he's known to his friends) (ok, only to me) was amazing and inspirational as always. And God showed me some stuff. That made me smile. So that was good.

On the downside I missed y'all terribly and it just didn't seem right at all that none of the TACF crowd was there. We would have had a lot of fun in the HS if you had been. >sigh<

Anyhoo, back in the dizzying heights of Taupo (we realised the other day that there is only one set of traffic lights in the whole town. ONE. Freaky McDeaky)....spring has sprung and the grass has riz. Yes September 1st marks the first day of Spring. Confused? You should be. But the lambs are gambolling and the daffodils are blooming and so I guess it really is Spring.

Winter in Taupo is a complete doddle compared to the UK (rain, rain and more rain) and Canada (snow, snow and more snow)...and there have been many, many days of sunshine so hot you can sit outside in your longsleeves with scant regard for a coat. Ok it has been a tad chilly at times too....but minus 3 hardly relates to a Torontonian minus 30 does it?

And I'm not just telling you all this to incite you to move here instantly. Ok, yes I am....but it's the truth nonetheless. By the way Dave has been known to offer bribes of buying a boat for people who move here. A boat that they would share with us. But a big ol' shiny motorboat nonethesless. I just mention it in passing....

Ok other than these sad attempts to lure you to the other side of the world (come see the lambs gambol...they gambol people, they gambol)...what else is new?

I'm week 36 of ye olde pregnancie...actually nearly week 37. That's 37 out of 40 for those of you unacquainted with the binary system of pregnancy calculation. ( I like to throw in some technical mathematical terms just to amuse Jason W).
So the end is really, very nigh. Although apparently the last weeks drag...so it may not feel that soon to me. Dave and I have an appointment with The Loveliest Midwife in the World, Sonia, tomorrow to discuss our birth plan.

My unoffical birth plan is:

1) Go "ooh" I'm having contractions
2) Wow, these aren't so bad
3) Hmmm...I think I'll hop in the birth pool with my rubber duck
4) Splash, splash...who needs an epidural?
5) Wow, I'm ready to start pushing...already...and it's only been about 4 hours and gosh it doesn't really hurt that much
6) Push! Push! Ooh look there's the baby, she's just popping out so easily
7) Ahhhh....look at lovely baby...she is lovely and unsquished and I instantly know what her name should be...and Dave agrees.

The End.

Now don't bother me with realism at this point...me and my rubber duck and my non-painful contractions are doing very well without you and your cynical laughter thank you very much.

Just to distract you from leaving sinister comments....here are some more photos of the bump. I know, I know, I keep posting these but Cathy says that there are never enough. And who among us would wish to deprive the lovely Cathy of anything her heart desires? Especially since she had a dream in which I pulled the baby out of a pouch to show her....and I am secretly hoping that I really do have a pouch. The Kangaroos really seem to be onto something with that birth plan....

Dave in the hotseat

2006-08-27T08:57:00.000+01:00

Have you recovered from the podcast yet?

Because I'm ramping up for a new one...and I have a feeling it's going to be a humdinger.

I thought that you might like to hear from Dave. He's a bit more elusive than me. You know, holds down important jobs and negotiates clever money things day and night. While I direct my energies towards email, blogs and screaming my way through podcasts. Each to their own, eh?

Well I know you lot are rather keen on him and might be suffering from withdrawal symptoms from his cheekychappiness...so I will be interviewing him on my next podcast.

And here's where it gets all interactive...because YOU get to decide the questions.

What do you want to ask Dave?

Leave a comment with your question contained therein and I will force him into a corner and make him answer!

This is your chance to hobknob with Dave and ask him the thing you've always wanted to ask.....

In other news...you have a week to work on honing your questions because I'm shoving off to the big smoke Mon to Fri to go to a conference at Takapuna in Auckland with Bill Johnson and Heidi Baker. Dave is staying here and working clearly. So my high maintenance pregnant self will be inconveniencing my companions - Denise & Sandra. PRAY for them.

Also - thank you so much for praying for Andrea. Baby Madison was born safely although very ickle at 4 pounds. She has on-going lung and kidney issues and is in a special unit in Wellington. They may have to operate on her kidneys. Meanwhile her mum Andrea has pneumonia. So on-going prayers would be appreciated.

I've got 5 weeks till my due date - and am looking really very lardy these days!

Catch you in a few days!

Engage Prayer Hotline

2006-08-21T21:51:00.000+01:00

Hi guys! Just had a phone call from Allyson our antenatal meeting coordinator (she who is fond of the endorphin dolphins)...and she asked me to get on the prayer hotline for a couple from our group. And I wondered if you could send up some prayers too for Andrea, Daniel and Baby. Baby is being delivered today about 6 weeks early, but has complications with lung and kidney issues. Allyson didn't go into details but the gist is it's quite serious and they could do with all the prayer support they can get.

THANK YOU.

Also, update on Amanda (James & Denise' daughter). She is doing much better - able to eat and drink, talk and move around. All of which were not possible just a few weeks ago. They haven't been able to diagnose yet what it was that she had...so they are doing continuing tests. She is still VERY thin and frail so please pray she gains back strength and weight.

Also they have to find a new house and move in the next 5 weeks....yikes!

Thanks for being so fab....you are awesome!

If you have 4 minutes and 10 seconds to spare...

2006-08-19T08:07:00.000+01:00

...in between important activities like making a cup of tea or clipping your toenails....you might just want to tune into my second Podcast.

This time I have guests!

And more photos!

Like this one:

And this one that I like to call my "American Pastor's Wife" look:

I had written captions for the photos on the Podcast but I'm not sure how to get them to display...(Alyn?)

But even without them I think there will be quite enough bizarreness for the next 4min 10 seconds of your life...

To have a listen click here and go to the imaginatively entitled "Podcast 2"

AKA Interview with Mike & Lucy Nunn.

"Technologie - thou art vanquished!"

2006-08-18T06:17:00.000+01:00

(Said with a Shakespearean flourish!)

I know you've heard it before.

(From Alyn)

But Macs really are THE BOMB.

Flipping Nora I've just been playing with iLife and - lo and behold - I've created a Podcast.

Yep, you can now listen to my dulcet tones live on the Internet.

This is my first effort - so, er, be gentle with me.

Oh and I threw the website together in .3 nanoseconds so squint when you open it so you don't notice how URGLY it is.

But I'm as excited as a Labrador Puppy with a new chewy toy so I couldn't wait to polish things up - I just had to share immediately.

Next I intend to try iMovie....

Be afraid. Be very afaid.

To hear my FIRST EVER PODCAST click here

Problem solving - the Adele way

2006-08-16T03:20:00.000+01:00

(please note the extreme left-brained, mathematical nature of this post, complete with equations and everything. Jason Wendle, be in awe)

Let us commence, class. (Imagine I am writing this on a chalkboard in Einstein-esque style)

Here is the problem as it presents itself:

a) Purple carpets

b) Lots of dark tile flooring

c) Cat shedding white fur
(as if white fur has become radioactive and must be thrown from body urgently and vigorously at regular intervals)

a + b + c = r

where r = ridiculous amount of vacuuming and sweeping

r X r over many days = d

where d = doing my nut on discovery of piles of cat fur on JUST SWEPT, JUST HOOVERED floors.

Possible Solutions:

1) Get rid of cat

(sob, this can't happen, love cat!)

2) Shave cat

(tempting, but again, love cat, so can't subject it to these antics)

3) Stop cleaning as it is patently a pointless and repetitive task.
(also tempting...but fear if stop sucking up cat fur, house will degenerate into mad-old-cat-lady type house where within days all furniture will be white, purely due to accumulation of cat fur. Where asthmatics cannot come within 3 blocks of the house without turning purple and falling down in the street grasping at their chest.)

4) Dye cat purple.

Personally I'm inclined towards number 4. At least that way the fur won't show up on the carpet. It could also provide a neighbourhood talking point. (As if having the cat with the Buzzy Bee tied to its neck isn't good enough already.....)

CAVEAT:

BTW please don't be actually concerned about this situation...cos I'm not. Just indulging my strange sense of humour.

And also displaying incredible formulaic genius.

Don't you think Jason?

Lynley - lovelier than ever!

2006-08-14T06:57:00.000+01:00

If wherever you are it is the 15th August....then I have glad tidings of great joy for you.

Tis Lynley's birthday - so let us all take a minute to celebrate in a worthy manner.

Spontaneously leap up from your work desk, grab a colleague and tango across the office...

Stand on your chair, grab a handful of your hair and yell out in a high-pitched voice "By Jiminy how can she be a year older and yet look so young?"

If a stage is available, I counsel a vehement stage dive with a shout of "Lynleeeeeee!"

Or get down on your hands and knees, grab your small child by their clothing and say..."Quick - get me a lollipop and an Elmo puppet....I must celebrate Lynley's birthday!"

Try a little jig around the room and end it in an enthusiastic shimmy.

If at all possible video yourself and I'll post it on the blog. (Ok I haven't quite sussed U Tube, but if you do any of the above it will be worth the effort).

If you have your own idea of how to celebrate please go ahead and report back....

In the meantime here are a few things that I love about Lynley...

1) She has a contagious laugh and incredible smile

2) She is extraordinarily beautiful

3) She is energetic and dynamic

4) She is bold and courageous

5) She is a fabulous cook

6) She knows how to have a good time

7) She is a fun person to hang out with

8) She is inspiring

9) She is down to earth

10) She loves the sun

11) She shares from the heart

12) She has incredible stage presence

13) She is honest

14) She believes in others and enables them to succeed

15) She has the best nails in the world

16) She gives me the best manicures!

17) She loves Stuart a lot!

18) She loves Jordan a lot!

19) She is sexy, elegant and stylish!

20) She is a warm and wonderful host

21) She is very gifted but very humble

22) She always thinks more about others than about herself

23) She has exceptional taste; an incredible eye for design and colour

24) She's a bold adventurer, not afraid to try something new

25) Her singing

26) She is passionate for and honouring of God

27) She is super prophetic but doesn't wear it as a badge

28) She gives and gives and gives

29) She is loyal

30) She is feminine and strong

31) She is a fantastic role model

32) She is my friend!

Ohhhh there are so many things!I would go on but I seem to have a baby trying to crawl up into my rib cage which is making typing a tad uncomfortable!

She is just an amazing woman, isn't she?

Happy Birthday Lynley - you are incredible!

Randomaneous

Make Believe

On awakening

Reported Peach

It's alright; the 9 month old is chewing on a knife while sticking her head in the oven

Thinking of reviving ye olde blogge

Current Cravings

Her bedside manner

With thanks to Harley for the metaphor

Back in the saddle again

Updating profile photo

Watch out if she comes at you with a biro...

Jiggidyjig jig jig jig

Walking Wideo

Slowly regaining will to live. I mean, blog. Ah who am I kidding? Same thing.

Help! Losing the will to blog.

Sweet Coz

Oh the dresses!

Honour's First Trip to the Beach

You can stop holding your breath now!

The Best Laid Plans

When the thing that you've been trying to avoid at all costs, is the very thing that happens

I'm so excited

Let's hope she takes after her father in this department

Because what Cathy wants, Cathy gets.

I worship the ground she doesn't walk on

I really should get out more...

Alyn Jones Day - 28 June

Just one reason I heart the man

Both provincial and pretentious

Why I won't win Mother of the Year

Black is the new Black

Conversations

She just can't kick the habit

Jim'll fix it for you....(or else, Alyn or Nick will)

Foto Fest

Making a Splash

Look at me, look at me now! It's fun to have fun but you have to know how!

Typical Sunday Afternoon in Taupo

Oh you know, cute stuff about babies...

What's cuter than a baby?

Fast-moving teeth caught on camera by slow-moving mother

No elephants were harmed in the making of this film

Honour and Jordan

It's my birthday...and I'll eat cake if I want to

New Life Motto

Reasons why I'll never be a tooth fairy

An open letter to Blogger

Toy Story - a photo essay...this time with photos you can actually see

Toy Story - a photo essay

Text your answers to 1 800 dont care

Raising the steaks...

Old MacDonald should really have a health and safety inspection

What's cuter than a baby....?

Isabella Victoria Render

Please sir can I have some more? (Photo story by Honour)

Signs of the Times

Crouching baby, Hidden irish dancer

You'll never guess who's bought a new camera...

Thought.

Motherhood 101

The people I hang out with these days

Happy Birthday Krista!

Family Portraits

Special Order Ponies

Thanks Shannon

More ponies in the post (do you have any idea how much this is costing me, and where do you put the stamps on them anyway?)

You've heard of Snakes on a Plane...?

What no photos of Honour?

About that pony...

2006 (we finished it before you did, so ner)

Christmas Letter from Honour

Mother Love

What do you do with your spare 5 minutes a day?

Expressions of Interest

Sorrow may last for 14 nights, but joy comes at 5.30 in the morning

I just blew in from the windy city

Video Killed the Radio Star

Cot to love it

Honour experiences her first earthquake